Monday, July 29, 2013

Still a Slight Mystery

The wedding couple, whose wedding celebration started at 630, but at 830 they still had not arrived,  did not fall into a well or sink hole.  They showed up at 9, thirty minutes after a few others and I left the building.  It is still very weird.  None of the Mormons seem to think it is nuts, yet when it is mentioned they sigh, "yea I guess that is ..." then they fade out.  I'm not sure some of them aren't hypnotized.  They are due at 6:30 and even have a little agenda laid out on the invitation. I don't get it.

It could still be true that the consummation issue wasn't resolved until just before they arrived at their party.  That theory has yet to be shot down.  I don't know how to tactfully research the matter, so I am going on the assumption that the reason for the no show at the party was that they just couldn't quite get that consummation thing done.

And, obviously, you can't do the stuff out of order, it's--marry--bang--party-- or you go to some bad place.  Or the whole congregation beats you silly.  I would hope that is how it works.  It is only right.

I can merely guess based on the evidence I have, so it is possible that none of the above is true except for direct observations such as when I left, and factual information from reliable sources such as that the couple is alive and arrived about 9 PM--technically hearsay (often spelled "heresay by the AP).

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sneaky Email, etc.

An email arrived which pretended to be from DHL.  I think the subject said, "Order Shipped", and it looked all DHL with the colorful logo and such.  They claimed the attempted delivery but no one was home.

A tracking number was listed, which was link that tried to get you to download a thing that you then have to open.  They also had just that in the email body as well.

Just prior to the final step I noticed the files were .exe and that is not a good thing to open unless you know what it does and that you want that.  I trashed it, then went to the DHL site.  They had a warning about this email.  I noticed it off to the right after entering the bogus tracking number.  DHL aid that was not a legit tracking number.

No big surprise because I didn't order anything.  Of course, I never discount the possibility of an unexpected package from friend or foe.  I have told friend and family, repeatedly, just end it via US post office to the PO Box, but one person always tries to end wild stuff UPS.

I worked for UPS for a short few months in Greensboro.  They have a hub there.  Most dangerous facility since my dad's backyard speargun factory where all the labor was done by kid from 6 to 18.   I did it all by the time I was 18.  Sometimes I'd hire a friend to help.  Only one or two of my friends from grade school on were capable of doing the work and doing it as long a it took to get the job done.

So, for 80% of the time between age 15 and 18 I did it all.  Not that this is relevant to the topic, other than that would be illegal now.  It was not a happy time or a happy place, but it could have been.  In any case, even now I would oppose any intrusion by the state on such an operation.

In their exuberance, the state can often mistake a jerk for a hard core abuser.  By doing this, the kid gets none of the redeeming value the jerk has to offer.  Only the jerk part.  I'm glad I was able to come away with something more than just a jerk parent.    I just wish I had not somehow become the sponge for all the sadness in the family, not of my making.  It is a if I subconsciously thought I could take the sadness away and put it all in me so everyone would be OK.  Except me, but that didn't matter.

I have yet to permanently shake the sadness, or the low evaluation of my worth.  It comes and goes.
get drunk on beer when nursing children
Anyway, that UPS place appeared to have been designed by someone who forgot to account for the fact that human beings would be working there.  There were cool conveyor belt highways that resembled big city overpasses with bridges over bridges over bridges.  They had stations up there where people did tasks unknown to me; until one of the highways had a pile up.

A box would get off to the side and snag on something, and pretty soon boxes pile up and even fall off, down on a road going elsewhere.  The solution?  Someone would leave the task unknown to me, get behind the jam, brace himself and kick the boxes.  Many reached the bottom looking like accordions.

The drivers for UPS are not like that.  They have high demands put on them, but they don't just throw packages at your door as they pass to make up time.  In the hub they do the equivalent of that in a myriad of ways.

I knew owners of very small manufacturing operations who were harassed by state OSHA agencies for not having an exit sign above the only door out of a one room building.  small building.  More than one case of similar nitpicking nonsense.  These were well run, safe places.  The last thing the owners of these firms needed was for employees to get hurt.   Not profitable, not in their self interest.

The number of hazards at the freight hub was huge.  It is clear that those who have the big bucks to help campaigns and participate in government/business partnerships are not held to the same standard.

That was long ago.  I'm sure it has all been cleaned up now.  Corruption and dishonesty in institutions funded by tax money collected at gunpoint is a thing of the past.

I love this San Diego mayor.  He's the best thing since Sergio in Miami a little over 20 years ago.  That is hard to do.  Sergio was county manager, I think. They had this county wide sort of government.  Metro-Dade.  The usual issues resulted from too much centralization.  But, par for the course, they think the answer is more of the same which caused the problem.

Sergio and his city hall cohorts got busted for regularly buying stolen suits and other high end clothes from somebody in a truck who would meet them at some fairly regular time.  Often the original store tags were still there.  The store that either got ripped off, or their shipment got stolen.

Serg and the gang prided themselves on dressing well.  How could they know someone doing retail designer-wear business out of the back of a truck in back alleys may be a crook?  The Hiassen commentaries in the Miami Herald at the time were indescribably funny and on the mark.  It mad it fun to live in Miami for that period.

Cliff has been playing a song I wrote--No More Mr Nice Guy.  I wrote it in Memphis but would not let that band have it because of the way things were done.  I'm surprised that it gets such a good reception.  It is a silly song and not something I'd think was good.

Here's the chorus of the song:  no more mr nice guy, no more mr easy, call me mr spice guy, call me mr sleazy.

The rest of the song talks about this guy's wife or girlfriend who was happy until she started watching Oprah and Dr Phil.   I think it was actually a magazine cover that triggered the thought, though.  She hears things like, "Is your love life stagnating?", etc.   And they have all these ideas for "spicing up life in the bedroom".  None of it stuff she or her husband do----(because it is probably STOOPITT)--and even though she's happy, she's convinced she must really be lacking.  Got to watch out for those who make money off of people's problems.  They will often lead you to believe you have a problem when you don't.

The song is not an opinion narrative like the above.  Maybe that is why it works.   I don't remember all the words. It is somehow rewarding to play on song you wrote, but the singer knows it far better than you.

So, in the song, he's trying to keep the woman happy.  I wish him the best of luck.

Friday, July 26, 2013

New Theory for Mystery in post Below

Not knowing how the workings of that faith operate, other than that they multiply like rabbits,  I can only guess at ritual and dogma.

I'm thinking the way it works is that things Must be done in this order: a-get married, b-consummate marriage, c-have the hooplah celebration in the church basketball arena.  That is why they marry one night, do the party the next.

What if, for whatever reason, they tried all night and all day but just couldn't get the dang thing consummated?   They can't be doing things out of order.  It explains everything.

Maybe people looked unworried because, after 3 or 4 hours, the couple shows up and the brethren and sisteren help them get this consummation business accomplished.  They may look straight arrow, but those folks love sex.  I can tell.

California Dreaming, part 7262013

One of the big surprises for me, here in sunny SoCal, was the big churchy aspect.  I encountered nothing like this in the South, and they have churches everywhere, but they are often smaller, some the size of a small barn or taco stand.

San Diego county houses maybe a billion Mormons, and big showings for Seventh Day Adventists and some Caledonian thing--they be somewhat foreign--and who knows what other group that would probably piss off the Baptists down south.

I played a little music with a Mormon guy over the last couple of years.  I even played for a Mormon event at a Mormon church--or whatever term they use, if not church.

So, that guy was marrying the girl singer, also a Mormon.  Mormonette, if you will.  You won't?  Yea, guess not.

Apparently they do the church stuff and actually get married the night before.  That is what they did.  Then they have like a reception-party thing the next night.  At a mormon place.   All their places have a very nice indoor basketball court, which also serves as a banquet hall, dance hall, etc., as needs be.  At the end of all of them is a first class stage, complete with curtain.

So, I was invited to the reception, as was the bass player who had played with us.  He gave up on that group at same time I did.  We figured we were the only non-mormon infidels in the place.  We were concerned about the possibility of a sacrificial ceremony.  We were concerned that we might be the martyrs of the event.

As it turned out we sat around with a Mormon lady that we know, sampled the buffet, sat around some more.  The invitation said it started at 6:30, then at 8 there was to be a ring exchange---I thought you did that when you got married.

It doesn't matter.  They never showed up.  Family and friends had that place looking like a mild Las Vegas.  Lights, glitz.  Nothing.

People sat around the tables and talked because they all know one another.  Some recorded music was being played.  Actually a good selection for what was at hand.

Everyone appeared to believe that the newlywed couple--marriage 2 or 3 for him, 2 for her--was still alive and hadn't fallen into a well, as I posited.

At nearly 8pm, the guy playing dj, announced the couple's phone numbers and suggested barraging them with calls and texts.  I didn't hear if any answers were received.

I left at close to 830.  Not to show to your own party is a bit odd.  He was going to play music and wanted the bass and I to play, was my understanding.  The erratic degree of reliability involved with the couple, particularly the groom,  has those people conditioned to assume it is due to irresponsibility so I'll bet it will be some time before family church people start looking at wells to see if they fell in.

If they find this couple in a well, I'll tell them 'I told you so'.   Every encounter I've had with this guy and his world has left me wondering how reality works in that dimension.  Nothing ever makes sense, and it is never quite a represented, but then the representation rarely makes sense either.  Not showing up to something they know family and friends worked very hard to set up has to be for good reason.

Maybe they know something I don't.  Maybe I'll find out tomorrow that they were abducted by aliens, or sent to gitmo to make us safe.

Whatever the case, I think 2 hours is a large enough window of time to allow for ADD, lack of awareness, and the need to be fashionably late.  This guy is overly absent minded and quick to shift his attention in an almost randomly chaotic fashion.  So, he could easily be walking along looking at something shiny, over there, and fall into a hole, or well, dragging his new wife along.

A mystery to be solved, though I think the truth is that they just showed up late for some complicated reason that would only happen to them.  That is the MO.  Just not sure.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

It Won't Matter When I'm Gone

The ever present attack of personal liberty and choice has been going on since before God was helping people win battle with the jawbone of an ass.  Things have evolved to the point where the thing is run by the brains of asses.

But, it won't matter if a speeding bus takes me out tomorrow.  So, why do I even care?   I do not know.

The fact that people are mean and stupid will not change in my life.  That assertion is backed by the support given to agencies, which intrude on lives and terrorize citizens, by the citizens themselves, and their alleged representatives.

It is bizarre.   The IRS thing should have led to its demise, but no, it becomes dem and rep establishment vs tea party if you read Huffington post.  The nature of the acts, and the principles involved mean nothing.  The IRS is purely the tool of bullies, is so far outside the law they don't even bother to pretend, yet those who point that out are deemed kooks.  Collectivism is like that.  Centralized control quickly becomes arbitrarily uneven and abusive.

The 911 pretense still prevails in matters of surveillance and national security.  Had they acted upon intelligence they had in hand prior to 911, on more than one front, it may have been prevented.  The unlawful collection of data on everyone is not a cure.  It is another weapon for those in power to ue against those who may not support those in power.  Yet, representatives and citizens seem perfectly OK with this all seeing arbiter of our lives.   At least enough of them so that the abuse of power by NSA won't be reigned in.

The whole thing is a very messy, very orchestrated play, which is so muddy and complex that many of the most vocal supporters of an all powerful state, in which we have privileges rather than rights, are unaware of the possibility they may one day be on the receiving end of the monster's wrath.  It is enough for them that, right now, their perceived enemies are hurt and don't like it.

People are shamelessly shallow.

Obama administration's assertion that Fast and Furious, Benghazi, IRS, NSA, etc. are "phony scandals" is only true in the context that all these things don't look good for the phonies being exposed.  They are not phony scandals.  They are symptoms of a society who sees government as their parent or God, and the answer to all ills, even those created by government.

If you think republicans are cool, check the split on the vote to defund NSA over reach.   Interesting that strong numbers in both parties were willing to reign in this abomination, but for once in our lives, more democrats wanted to cut funding to this agency.

If you think democrats are cool, I'm sorry for you.  Both the dem and rep establishments are immoral, lying, abominations.

Both parties were fairly well split on the issue.  Some went through dramatic speeches about 911 to justify trading freedom for an invasive government.  The trouble is, proof of anything being claimed is tough to prove or disprove.   For one thing, you cannot actually prove how many lives have been saved or snuffed, even though they spout figures and statistics.   Can't really prove it.

How much of this global threat we all must fear to the point of giving up our autonomy is the result of a hundred years worth of bad foreign policy?  Or just the erroneous notion that God wants the USA to run around the world "spreading democracy" at gun point?   We aren't supposed to spread anything.

Oh well.  I don't really care that much.  I think the obvious mistake of how things are run and people bullied by the state just adds to my mounting personal fears.   I'm so tired of being on the edge, in a fog, and in painful solitary that I don't dare own a pistol, although I am for very loose gun laws.  Maybe even for no gun laws.  The ones in place do little to protect the innocent.  Just look at the place with strict laws.   They either get violent in other ways or shoot each other regardless of law.

You are safer in most parts of the US than you are in Britain when it comes to violent crime.  A a matter of fact, if you take a few of the craziest cities out of the mix, you are safer here than in most of the world.

Not going to change any of that.  So, what do I do while I wait for my last breath?  I don't know.  Not every day do I wake up glad to wake up.  Living being should have a bit of a better outlook than that.  I am tired of it.  I blew it and I can't shake the disappointment, regret and, sometimes, horror that brings.

I'll continue pretending so my family will never know the real deal.  I owe them that.

The ultimate answer may be to drink the koolaid, and become another mindless fool following one or another of these parties or movements.  

Is it because I am white that women act nervous when I show up in an empty parking garage where they are exiting or entering their cars?   Our buddy who saved Guam from capsizing, Rep Hank Johnson, is sure it only happens to black men because we all hate them, and crime statistics in no way indicate that you are more likely to be mugged by a particular age and gender specification of a particular race.

I never discriminate like that. I hide from everyone.

Is it normal that police accused me of a robbery I didn't commit, cornered me in a diner about some bank that jut got robbed, threw me against a wall a few times for poor performance of a breathalyzer test, made me follow a pen in circles and figure 8's for fun when I'd done nothing wrong and hadn't had a drink for more than 20 years,  stopped me in my driveway, blocking me in with five cop cars, searched my car, didn't give an excuse for over an hour, then it was a lie,  stopped me about five different times for no reason then trumped one up and finally took off,  gave me a speeding ticket instead of the person in front of me who was really speeding, gave me a ticket for turning my lights on at night?   Is all this because I am white?

If I were black I'd be sure that every unexplained abuse by employers, police and women who broke my heart was all due to race.   It is not, and what they are promoting now is only half truths and outright lies.  Another shameful Obama ploy to divide.

Oh, and I have been scoped out in department stores and elsewhere.  If I walked in acting thuggish, I'd expect it.  I expected it in the old days when I was with friends who did not know how to act.

I'm a victim too.  I want laws tailored to me, and I want to go stop traffic and break things to prove I'm a victim.

I am no fan of law enforcement in most cases, but mostly because of the laws themselves, and the methods used to enforce laws.  Sting operation are 90% entrapment schemes and wrong.  Roadblocks and random stops are just wrong.  I could go on. But I already went on too long.  In many ways

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

San Diego Staying Classy

Politics is largely public theater.  Never mind that it is a distraction while an army of Artful Dodgers pick your pockets clean.

I must say the San Diego political machines have created some theater that is more peculiar than most.

I'm in SD county, but not city.  Huge county.  Anyway, the mayor had been annoying people.  Some nicknamed him, "the emperor", but I didn't keep up with why.  The funny thing is that lot of people said they liked things he'd done as mayor but not how he did them.

Then his own party said he was rubbing his staff the wrong way--literally.   They even came up with a name for one of his moves, the Filner headlock.

Demonstrating their inability to do anything sane, republicans are jumping on the bandwagon in self-righteous competition with the democrats who got the band wagon going, and were trying to crank up the self righteous media posturing.   Republicans should play quiet calm and sympathetic to the dems who are leading the charge to get rid of their own mayor.

It's like two guitar players trying to one up each other.  Each surreptitiously bumping his volume up until you have ear bleed.  So the trick to looking better is to subtly encourage the other guitar player to bump his volume beyond sane, while never increasing your own.  People can only take so much hysteria.  They need breathers.

Everyone is outraged, "on behalf of women everywhere".    They are overacting.  I peg many of them for creeps, themselves, and the outrage act doesn't ring quite real.

Now his very recently exed fiance has come out with some kind of dirt.  Nothing really all that bad compared to the workplace accusations.  He may be a creep, but when exes come out with non-essential information just to join the mob, or for revenge, that is kind of low, too.

The classy thing is that they all seem to agree that righteous outrage is the way to play this opportunity. I predict this sort of thing will become more common as it clouds the view of how their power is being used and abused.  The impatient will be taking notes.  It is the 21st century American answer to a coup or storming the castle to capture or kill the king.

It is great that Filner won't quit.  This will drag out the drama.  I'm hoping for a complex twist of plot to emerge.  Air time guaranteed now that Gloria Allred is involved.   If you abuse a position of power, the least you can do is give the public a few months of good theater.  Filner has lived on the public dime for quite awhile.

If he's slick, he'll claim this public drama is "his way of giving back".

This is what happens when someone gets away with abusing power and position to grope women, and then he gropes the wrong one.  And then other women in the place get the word.  No putting back that can of worms.

The downside will be the cost to taxpayers for the probable trial to come.  Entertainment involving government and government people is never ever cheap.

I wonder if an Diego could ever be as classy as Hialeah was the last time I lived in Dade County, FL.  Hialeah's mayor had to cut his term a little short due to a conviction for embezzling from the city.   He did a little time, then ran for mayor again, and won.

That is classy.  A city full of people who elect a guy who steals from them then are too crazy not to do it again, enthusiastically.   And there are those who think mob rule is fine.  They are nuts.  

Maybe I'm Not A Fish

Sunday I decided to go this Parkway Bar and hole in the wall for an open jam.   It was all plugged in, not acoustic at all.   That seemed interesting.

I did not know any of the players there.  The way they do it is have a sign up sheet with four sets listed.  You put your name on any of them and say what you play, like guitar/vocals.   These people know one another.  I had no idea which set would be a fit.

So, I tried to ask some of the apparent hotshots.  No help whatsoever.  If I were to pick a word that describes R&B/ rock/loud musicians, or musicians in general, with exceptions for most country/bluegrass/BallisticMountain, "gracious" would certainly NOT be the word.

All these players were really good, and obviously knew what they were playing.  You can be the ace of all time, and still be very difficult for a stranger on stage.  It is easier to jam with those who are secure enough not to make life a pain for the newcomer.

The main front for my set was a guy whose exaggerated angry frown and over abundance of tattoos seemed to telegraph a message of "I'm Mr Badass and I hate everyone".   By the time I left, I think he and I were of the same mindset.  For a little while there I hated everyone, too.  Including him.

I could not hear myself at all.  And it seemed the guy kept pulling out stuff that had irregular and odd progressions.  It almost seemed as if he purposely threw curves.  I noticed a slight look of shock when he thought a minor key thing would be undoable for me.  It happens that minor stuff is usually much easier for me.  Once he figured out I had a hot at sinking my teeth into that tune, he made a point not to let that work out.   Some guitar players should be sent to an isolated place where they can annoy one another death,  rather than foisting themselves upon the innocent and decent.

I stayed the whole set and added what I could, but overall I do not think I did anything to further my standing in that crowd.  Maybe if I had the prescribed look it would help.  Maybe if my increasing aversion to strange crowds was less intense that would help.

Maybe if I did not dislike a certain type of attitude among musicians I would be OK.   I was in disbelief at the lack of information and assistance I received when I asked.  Usually people do better than that.  They had their cliques, and their fun.  I did not have a good time.

I won't be back even though some of what they do attracts me.  Overall, as good as it was---and these people were very professional, skill wise--none of it was the kind of thing that lifts me up, makes me want to move, be happy, live.

Certain music hits me like that, and I need everything I can find that make me want to be happy and live.

Maybe I'm too vain.  My feeling is that I'm at least as good at what I do as they are at what they do, but I am more original and less of a tired stereotype.  But I may be more tired in general.  Also, that doesn't mean I'm better to listen to.  I'm just tired of so much same old thing from various groups.  I must bore more easily than I thought.

I've never liked it at all, on a job or elsewhere, when people play that game of not making life easy for the new person through the door.  I've seen it a lot and I try not to be that type.   One thing for sure, I've dealt with enough of that in music scenarios to last a life time, and I won't put up with it ever again.

So, I gave it a shot in order to broaden my horizons and I won't deal with those people again.  I left wanting to smash their guitars over their affected, empty heads.  But I behaved the whole time.

It turns out I may not be where I think I should be, doing what I ought to do, to justify continuing to play, but the people I do play with are good people, not Jr High cool boys and girls showing off and finding satisfaction through exclusion of the unknown.  These are the most decent and gracious of any groups with which I've played; the ballistic Mountain three and their friends.

That's how I met Joel many year ago.  I answered questions he had that people at the jam wouldn't.  I was helpful and often felt shut out myself at that place.  Besides, it is simply good manner to repectfully answer sincere questions if you can.

I'm quite mad at myself for waiting it out at that open jam (I played last set), for wasting my time doing something that I would rather not do unless I am good enough to be making some money doing it, for putting up with nonsense, for stagnating in my life, for letting people go, for ever getting divorced, dumped or leaving in error, for being whatever it is that I am.  I'm angry for all of it.

One thing for sure, few things in life are more obnoxious than a roomful of people who think they are rock stars.  Most likely a room full of real rock stars would be equally annoying, if not more so.

Usually the most real of pop musicians play jazz, country, bluegrass, and such.  From the heart, and they know they'll never be rich and famous anyway.  I don't think I'm doing much of anything from the heart any more.  Seriously, rock and roll types are by far the most closed minded, rude, and insecure of all musicians---speaking in wide generalizations.  Facts are facts.  Not all are so bad, and many jerks can play well.  Still, rude is rude, and creeps are creepy.

Maybe I should do something else.  I'm restless and want to move.

Obviously, I regularly pine for places where I am not.

At the Parkway Bar jam I felt like a fish out of water.   Now I think it is possible that I'm just not a fish, so why keep trying to be one?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Had to Delete

It became clear to me that things get beyond the humor point from time to time.   Now is one of those times.  Your biting satire and wit could easily be viewed at a glance as incendiary.

So, why knowingly do that?  I don't.  I see the problem and I take care of it.  So, you should hire me to hang out until I see a problem.  That way you'll be ahead of the game.

Monday, July 15, 2013

I May Call My New Song, "The Great Pretense"

Parts of this are really old.  The melody I have in mind is one of those kind that never really ends or has a hard resolve.  A skip to school, happy go lucky sort of thing.  The cheerful melody is a contrast but also fits the point.  But it can be talking about whatever you want.

in the distant night
a baby sleeps
a flower screams
a mother weeps
and the fog from the hills
rolls and rolls
stealing the sight
from the valley below

as innocence
alive and free
is spent like a
cheap commodity
by laughing lords
and puppeteers
trading souls
for another beer

and time and time again
my life flashed before my eyes
praying for lightning in the
thundering rain
begged for lightning
yet here I am
and the fog from the hills
rolls and rolls
stealing the sight
from the valley below

 you thought
we were lying
when we said
they were dying
see them play
in the shimmering sea
no one hears
a drowning plea

the fog in the hills 
rolls and rolls
stealing the sight 
of  the valley below

alive and free
spent like a
cheap commodity
by laughing lords
and puppeteers
trading souls
for another beer

the fog in the hills
rolls and rolls
stealing the sight
from the valley below

the fog in the hills
rolls and rolls
stealing the sight
of  the valley below

All rights reserved, of course.  No one can use these lyrics for anything except to prove I'm whatever.

If I could write something good, it would look like Heaven, or Volare, or Whiter Shade of Pale
If I had a window, it would look like that one that got shattered

If I Had a Wife, She'd Look Like Nicole

OK.  Almost have it all out of my system for now.

In other news, my colleague, Joel, has confessed that he is the one who is nuts and that I am sane, stable and always right.

Not sure if the last part is verbatim, but I'm sure that is what he meant.


A little tip when it comes to caulking in tight places which are still visible so it has to be neat:  if you aren't careful it can become messy, tedious and troublesome.  If it involves a very small gap, cut the tip so that it has a small opening.  Ignore their little guide dents on the nozzle.  They just want lots of stuff coming out o you buy more sooner.

A damp finger is the ticket for smoothing it.  Also deft use of a sponge, and a case of paper towels help things along.


I guess the fire is about out up on Sunrise Parkway, Mt. Laguna.  It was only 15% contained for days.  The whole fire thing, and the fact that little is done in the way of clever prevention to limit the fire's fuel and spread so it doesn't ruin people's lives, makes me think of this location as temporary.  Good thing I'm a practiced vagabond.  Most of the logical steps are illegal for one reason or another.

So, do you go back to a city that is populated by racists but doesn't catch fire except when they riot?  Probably not.  I've long viewed learning to love freezing weather as the answer to peaceful living.  Places with few rabble rousers and not much population density--in more ways than one--are usually places with harsh winters.   Good weather tends to attract riffraff.

If I had a dog, he'd look like Old Yeller.

What to do if They Stop Traffic

If these alleged demonstrators and protesters are attempting to stop you from getting where you need to go, I suggest you refuse to stop, and instead accelerate and, where useful, prop a door open.  That is my solution to that.

These people are lunatics and liars.  Disagreeing with some verdict way the hell over there does not translate into robbing, looting and satisfying sadistic urge and racial hatred.  At leat there is no legitimate, sane or logical connection.  The morons who do these things are thrilled that Al and every other pretender validate their greed, stupidity and sick love of inflicting pain on others.  The Reids, Obamas, and Sharptons of the country pretty much declare open season on everyone not of the correct ethnic group.  They are shameless.  It serves their devious dishonest ends.

I'd be ashamed to be as easily led as these mob people are.   Can't expect people to think for themselves if they are braindead.

I swear, if I knew of a country that wasn't suckered into insanity, I'd move.  But I know of no sane country.  The world is over-regulated and largely comprised of people incapable of being responsible with technology, and they are philosophical vacuums.  My impression is that most of the world is about as smart and moral as what Oakland Ca puts on display regularly, often in protest of something of which they know virtually nothing, like this case.

I'm going to see if maybe one of those Caribbean places is feasible.  I think the usa is screwed, done, over with.  

Ever Wonder How The Hitler Episode Could Happen?

That Nazi thing could never happen here, we thought.  Look around.  In the USA we are ripe for at least that kind of insane tyranny and manufactured conflict between factions.

Except the Germans are probably a lot smarter than most of our various groups.  Imagine, if being smart didn't provide them with better awareness, our dumb asses are in real trouble.

Charlatans, witch doctors, power hungry community organizers without conscience are seeking to use bully and thug tactics for what, I do not know.  To execute or abuse Zimmerman?  Apparently, screaming and breaking windows in cities hundreds or thousands of miles from the scene of the crime in question is supposed to be a righteous expression of honest people who don't like the concept of innocent until PROVEN guilty.

Maybe he was a nitwit.  That is not the point.  No one can demonstrate that the Martin shooting was racist, yet irresponsible "leaders" are agitating their idiot followers as if it is a clear case of white on black crime, motivated by race, and done without consequence.   No one has or can back up such claims.

Some people do not care where the herd is headed, they just want to be part of it.  I'll wager few of them have a clue what the word "proof" and the phrase "reasonable doubt" even mean.

Now, when I'm out late, as I was tonight, working, if I see a black guy at the gas station, I pay extra attention because of all the talk about shooting white people if the (hispanic) Zimmerman was found not guilty.  That is how these bastards manage to split us up by race, sex, etc.

Of course when you have the majority of a group willingly allowing themselves to be spoken for and led, it is unlikely good will come of it.

Now let's see what kind of white idiots come out of the woodwork.  The hooded ones will be stepping up the membership drive, no doubt.

I'm so fed up with people who seem too stupid to know they are stupid, or too stupid to see how it is ridiculous to be proud of being stupid.  Many people are proud of being stupid.  I guess some just have no shame, no honor or sense of values, so they wreak havoc in a quest for power, and maybe a new computer if enough businesses get vandalized so they can help themselves to things they want.

That's what unconstitutional democracy looks like.

You want justice?   Fry the black panthers who harass people at the polls, fry the people who spy on citizens without probable cause of a crime, fry the people who create tricky gun tracking schemes which result in deaths here and in other countries, but yield no other positive result, fry the people who kill citizens without due process with remotely controlled aircraft, fry the people who arm every lunatic group in the mid-east and give them tax dollars, fry the people who pretend to give news but lie and edit videos and recordings to suit their slanted agenda, fry the people who locked up Lt Behenna, Ramos and Compean,  fry the unprincipled creeps who pass laws they haven't read,  fry the people who incite riots,  fry every creep who cries racist if you disagree with him/her/it, fry the IR, fry the NSA,  fry those who have hurt our country and taken away rights beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Fry yourself if you really believe the bullshit that is being passed off as a cause.

And don't look at me like I'm some uncaring white racist.  I've been around the block and I have stood on principle where few of my guilt ridden brethren would.  I quit a job because the owner fired my black friend for little reason, and wouldn't ever promote him because of race.  In my mind you have the right, but I have the right to deprive you of the benefit of my services for being a jerk.

And I did.  If you can say the same, then judge away.  It wasn't a "look at me" grandstand play.  Few people ever knew why I quit.  That business owner knew because I told him.  Almost came to blows over it.  I guess we could have marched and had the usual bullhorn and parrots.  I hate that stuff.  We could have broken windows and vandalized his property.  Instead he lost a lot of business because his clients wanted to see my friend, and wanted to buy the product from me.

The point is, I'm not guilty, and I'm not afraid to declare the Big Pretense for what it is--a big dog and pony show---a huge lie made up of innumerable lies, half-truths, and deceptions.

My little quit the job protest was nearly 30 years ago.  I've seen far cases when the most qualified job applicants, by a huge margin, were turned down in favor of a marginal prospect based on race, and out of fear that the diversity police would label the manager a racist if he/he hired based on merit.

None of that thinking is good.

I've experienced racism and sexism on a couple of jobs from cuban women, and white.  I probably could have sued.  Not my way.  I eventually left to find a better environment.  I have also had good working relationships with women managers, so don't think women don't like me because I'm creepy.  The like me because they know I love them.

Pissing in the wind.  how can people continue to pretend and be so unbelievably stupid

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Didn't take Al Long


I deleted the rest which described his antics in response to Zimmerman not being stoned to death.

I realized it was not a fun read.  Really, look at the record, and the name Sharpton is enough to tell the story.   What a sleaze bag hypocrite.

There are times when people put themselves is troublesome places, but that isn't illegal.  Of all the people who do that I'd think Al would get it.  Mayhem follows him like a dog on a leash.

Send people up the river for being stupid and we'd have more people off the streets than running free.  Memphis and a few other places would be ghost towns.


Mob rule.  Self righteous acting thugs.  Life is full of things that don't go how you want them to and there are plenty of situations which end badly. There is not always a way to legitimately punish and take out frustrations on people.

It is that way to protect everyone from taking out their hate and prejudice on those who aren't malicious criminals, but find themselves in a scrape.   To guard against sending someone up who is not deserving.
No lessons learned from all the people released on charges of rape and murder, after years inside, due to  new DNA technology?   Maybe there was reasonable doubt but those juries didn't think that was enough. Too many people are idiots.  

That doesn't stop the mob from roaming the streets looking for someone to lynch.  With Al Sharpton and Jesse pretending to be holy victims as they feed their egos leading the mob.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Big Pretense; part 7122013//warning foul language, and bad mood

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.   Wait, the man behind the curtain today is a kangaroo!   That's because we are being exposed, and over-exposed, to judicial theater.  Trial by media, public opinion, and racial hatred.   Kangaroo court hopping all across the USA.  A case which ought not be at the forefront of SoCal news, considering it is in Sanford, Florida, and does not involve skinning people alive, mass murder, or even alleged hate crimes.

It is the epitome of pretense when a hispanic man, with some black blood, is labeled white because it gives those who trade on raising ethnic anger levels something to work with.    All of a sudden, a situation that no one witnessed is used to divide up camps and draw battle lines.

Everyone knows that if racial characteristics of the parties involved were different, we wouldn't be aware of the killing.  Just like the girl who got raped, skinned, tortured in NC some time ago, and the couple in TN not so long ago.  Jesse?  No word from him.  Al?  nothing---guess there was no way to incite the murder of a shop owner or frame some crackas for a rape they did not commit.

I'm so sick of people in this country being cowardly, ignorant and afraid to tell the truth when it comes to all this tribal bullshit.

I have no idea if Zimmerman should be put away or not.  I haven't seen, and don't want to, all the info on the incident.   I'm not going to watch a trial which I do not think should be televised, involving a case which has zero to do with me, mine, or a clear cut issue.  Oh, but Obama didn't know shit about it yet he had to pander and incite anger by weighing in with that comment about how if he had a son, he'd look like Trayvon.   If I had a son, he'd probably look like me.   Or a chicken...

The President has no business mouthing off like that. It is harmful and unprofessional, and shows a disregard for due process.  That is lynch mob mentality.  What a fuckwit.

If Barack had a son, he might look like his crazy ass white mother.

I used to think maybe he was a likable yet misguided guy.  Now I think he's hardcore corrupt and self-serving.   Not sure that he's any more vile than they rest, just better at screwing up the freedom of people disinterested in anything the state has to offer in the way of unearned cash,. contracts, useless job, whatnot.

He's an arrogant sociopath.  But then he's in the right field for that, and the right town.  If it serves his purpose, he thinks nothing of fueling the fires of hatred, not caring who or what is right.  Does it promote his power?  Then he's down with that.

I don't care how many mindless short sighted devotees the guy has.  Numbers do not make something or someone right.  That's what their idea of democracy looks like--numbers and might make right.  People really are dumb, in the aggregate.

But, because the big O made it clear he is happy to choose a side in this fight,--which ought to be a trial which attempts to discover truth---every hapless liberal and democrat have spent the last several months rationalizing why this guy they don't know should be fried for a crime they did not witness.  It has become part of the huffpost talking points and every fanatic idiot who loves a Big Brother state,  and Nancy Pelosi, is all invested in this trial and making it a racial nightmare.

The racial aspect is fiction.  NBC doctored the 911 recording to make it sound racial.  And the brilliant witness said creepy ass cracka is not a racial phrase, so there we have it. Nothing else hints at racial bias.

We pretend that it is OK, and not really racist, if black people talk that way.  After all, don't all white people carry lots of guilt even though a very tiny percentage of us have ancestors who had any connection at all to slavery, other than maybe dying in the civil war.  Probably more of us have ancestors that were slaves than slave owners, considering the romans and different groups did a lot of that.  They'd nab Druids and such.  Christians for awhile.  That thought eases my guilt.

Stupid people think that the way to make it all right is to just assign the rights to abuse people based on race from one race to another.  Pretty much that is what guilty white masochists are attempting.  They are arrogant enough to believe they have that power.  They would probably deny it, but actions and The Record tell the tale.

You can't end racial tensions by saying, "hey we were not nice, so why don't you give white people a ration of abuse, one way or another, but of course I'm to be excluded because I say things like "dog whistle" to alert you to secret racist phrases like,  'I disagree with him'."

Unbelievable.  Psychopathic, and sociopathic behavior is now the norm.  Pretend long enough and that is how it goes.

On the other side, conservative pundits are lining up behind Zimmerman--once an Obama supporter (wonder if he still is).  Geez, they are doing just what the dems are doing but they aren't crying for blood. I think they are making such a deal in order to cause further strife should the morons and party animals decide to riot.   Then if someone isn't treated like a prince while rioting, they'll riot over that and Al will come down and act indignant and we can all be fucking victims.

Jesus H etc.!!!  I get it that for some reason the dems and Al are all excited because they can pull a form of extortion using all these threats about rioting, and those who never met a black person but carry 17 tons of white guilt can get some relief.  Chris Matthews will be in heaven giving insane reasons why the riots are so justified and how it is the result of all the dog whistles.    I think he believes that black people won't hurt him if he calls everyone a racist and shows clear signs of wanting to be Obama's sex slave and bitch.

The only thing worse than self appointed racial leaders like Jesse are whites who try to hijack trumped up racial outrage.  Such phonies.

It is so obviously political, and, in a country of presumed innocence, rule of law, protection of rights, this situation is wrong and dangerous.  Allowing trials to be a media circus. and allowing insane political agendas to drive it in the first place will not result in a better country.

It would be so easy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,  and find yourself in big trouble, on the news, and on the receiving end of Al Sharpton's sociopathic propaganda.

Maybe no one in the media has ever been sucker punched, blind sided and knocked down.  I have, and I can tell you, you don't think to yourself, "Am I in real danger here?  Just what degree of defense or force is warranted?"   You pick up anything--a brick, a knife, a vile of acid, anything--and do what you can to get free.  If you can take an eye out, you do.  It is fast.

I do not know if that was the case, but I have seen nothing to prove otherwise, and don't believe they've mentioned that there was proof.  In the USA that means you cannot be sent up the river.  Well, it used to be that they at least talked a good game.  Now we just put it on tv and choose sides.

OJ gets off.  No riots.  Why didn't white people riot and decry the lopsided black on white crime situation?   If Zimmerman gets off, we all expect riots.  Explain the rationale.

It is all the big pretense.  We'll pretend the majority, or a very high percentage, of blacks do not hate whites and aren't racist.

Really must suck for those who don't live their lives seeking racial conflict and violence.  But why keep pretending?  Something is wrong when everyone knows a white guy like me would probably be dead or very much the worse for wear were I to go to almost any predominately black neighborhood.

The reverse is not even close to the same risk.  Everyone knows it, yet we pretend it is some other way, or the guilty dolts, who are the real racists, make excuses to avoid holding certain people accountable for their behavior.

I never was one who insisted that OJ was guilty.  I wasn't there, and refused to watch that trial circus.

There have been too many people harmed by these kangaroo courts designed to further some political agenda or other corruption.  All the Johnny Sutton prosecutions of border patrol and such, Lt Behenna, etc.  Those were done to please assholes in other countries; dickhead mexican officials,in Sutton's cases, and the taliban or some other insane superstitious muslim nutcases in Behenna's case as well a others.   No telling how many such cases there have been.  It only screws up the lives of a few who don't deserve it.  No big deal.

That's how we roll.  "Oh, please don't riot.  We'll ignore the law, logic and procedure just to appease you and to pretend that your punk ass posturing and threats somehow constitute a reasonable approach. And we'll apologize too.  Just tell us what for."

The hell of it is, if Martin had shot Zimmerman, with or without cause, we'd never have heard of it.  If he'd buggered him at gunpoint then dismembered him while he was still alive, we'd have heard nothing. This pretend bullshit is dangerous and wrong.  You don't have to have a real strong moral fiber to know that.  Unless you've become so good at pretending that you believe your own bullshit, and that which we keep being fed.

OK.  In case you don't know; typical dumbass democrats, you are for Zimmerman getting strung up.  Typical dumbass republicans, you are for acquittal.  All you need to know is that.  Screw the fact that you weren't there, have no dog in the fight, or other reason to be involved.  It is your duty as a mindless sheep to follow your team.  Otherwise you won't be cool.

I am so amazed that people don't see the big con being played by everyone who controls those with badges and gun, or controlling those who control.  And if they do they get pissed off at me for my rebellious attitude toward the process of totalitarianism, fascism, etc., which is what we have created here.  It is probably a type of fascim--corporate-government partnership.  Never ever buy the benign lies and smile if they are accompanied by talk of business and government partnering.  It is bullshit.

I'll explain why another time.  If you can't see it, I suppose talking to you is a waste of time anyway.  F-off, comrade

Not much is real

It is demonstrably composed mostly of pretense


Monday, July 8, 2013

Even a Stopped Clock is Right Twice a Day

Among the handful of people who did or said the right thing at the right time, and helped stave off either my demise or entry into another dimension--possibly a delusional one--Joel holds a unique spot because he continues to harass me and convince me I'm nuts.

And he's helped me in several scrapes, the nature of which vary greatly.  Not always obvious when I'm in a scrape.  Don't think it is not used as ammo from time to time.   Then again, maybe it useful to be reminded of how the road's been traveled.  There is progress, but that is after lots of opposite of progress.

The advantage here is that there are times when he is right, because I am sometimes nuts.  It always makes me think.  He may not use the word "nuts', but it boils down to the same thing.

Recently we had a conversation and he expressed a little skepticism regarding why I would be down.  There is no good reason.  That actually helps because even though I can't see it now, I know I could see that there are no compelling reasons for my lowest points during our conversation.  So, I know myself well enough to know that I am not viewing reality with a constructive attitude.   I'm wondering if it isn't an inner sense of place that is the problem.

I'm not so sure the place is of a geographical nature.

Where I work can be interesting.  Take the Hollywood actress; mostly B movie parts and rap-booty videos.  She's good looking, and apparently clueless.  She's really a concubine of sorts but thinks she's the number one girl of the faithful guy who owns the place.  He lets her and her entourage stay there on his dime when they want.  He's elsewhere.  Last week he was there with someone else.  She was elsewhere.

Booty lady's entourage consists of her mother and a few friends, and maybe somebody's kids.  Among the friends we have an allegedly homeless man who is some sort of in-law.  She says she brings him and the occasionally one of his colleagues because "they'd never get to know this kind of luxury", and it's her "way of giving back".

She has the house manager buy car loads of groceries and booze, all on the "john's" dime.  She and her mother then load up all that's left over---which is most of it---and cart it back to L.A.  She is paying for nothing, yet she uses that obnoxious phrase, "giving back", as if she's a saint.  Give back to what?  Uncle Waldo because you robbed him as child?

I guess he's a help when they load up coolers full of food and beer for the ride home.  I think they schedule visits when groceries run out.  They give back to their pantries and refrigerators.

And it is most charitable of them to give Uncle Waldo a lift.  Who knows, they may make him pitch in for gas.

That group leaves the place like a tornado hit.  Always expect the most unlikely things to get broken.  This time they broke the ping pong table, and some piece of a shower head set-up.  In these cases, as in most, the breaks are of a nature that leave how it broke a tricky mystery.  I can usually fix whatever it is, but I cannot always solve the mystery of how or why it was broken.

The table is a very solid attempt at making a fold-up ping pong table durable and idiot proof.  This residence is where I would test any new design to see if it can survive energetic morons.  Finally, the morons beat the table.  I will say it withstood some really stellar dimwits until now.  I can probably make it whole again.  Don't think I can make it Booty-actress proof.

The political person with whom these people rub shoulders very likely thinks spending the money of others is his way of giving back, too.  No wonder I'm down.  What seems fine to most people doesn't sit well with me.  But being Don Quixote is not the route I hope to take.  I didn't like him or his putsy friend.  Right as they may have been--about who knows what.

So, when is one exercising courage, doing the right thing, and when does one cross the line into tilting at windmills?   If the Revolution had been lost, would Washington and Jefferson and the like been seen as wild idealists without sight of reality?  I like them better than Quixote and Toto, or whatever his odd friend was called.

It is interesting that reality of the way things are, and what is right often collide.  At times those who stand on what is right are considered brave and courageous, and at times they are thought to be lunatics.  In both scenarios hindsight often, but certainly not always, renders the initial judgement wrong.

See? It gives you nothing solid to go on.  The whole deal is a self-doubt factory for those who care what is right, and about the well-being of people in general.  And who often find society a confusing place.

Mt Laguna's on fire.  It is not that far and I go there all the time.  This is not good.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Phoning it In

So, a guy I haven't seen in about a year called me to ask if I'd play a block party in Poway.  That was today--Sat 7-6.  Or 6-7 if you are foreign.

He's a good guitar player/singer, and has a mandolin player that is a cut above the norm for mandolin player I've seen around.  But they play the kind of songs which do not have the most predictable of patterns, and I guess they draw only from the list of tunes I've never played.  Many of them I've never heard.

This was a good size neighborhood block party.  We were the first group, then they had another, more plugged in band.  I waited around a bit to see if maybe it would be a sit-in opportunity but decided it wasn't.

We played an hour and a half, and never once played anything that I knew or anything real loose.  It was a challenge but I think I filled some space, keeping the sense of what was going on.  The mandolin guy is a good person to play with.  That communication is there, and he's a versatile player.

I guess it went OK.  I hit the end of the regular saturday open mic/jam, which was at a new venue.  It was OK.  Mostly I just tried to go somewhere I wasn't.  Never works but it helps, maybe.

The most exciting thing was that I wasn't expecting to play because I was way late and not on the list.  They put me on anyway and when they were telling me to come up I didn't realize the case was unlatched. Twenty two harmonicas all over the floor.  I do have two C harps in the case, so there are actually only twenty one unique harps.  Several minor key tunings.

That was the excitement even though I think I did well in Poway.  Probably I am a little less enthused playing thing I would not choose for me if I could be doing whatever music I like best.  And I'm not sure what it is I'm after.

Maybe I'll cross paths with a drummer I met who seems conversant with world and caribbean influences.  I like a lot of that foreign stuff, even if some of them foreigners don't speak English.  I had a discussion with that guy and something could come of it.  In the world of musicians I encounter, though, it never pays to assume the outcome of anything, regardless what is said.

Musicians who don't have to wear a tux to play are generally unreliable, moody, and subject to odd behavior.  That is most likely why some people think I'm a musician---I have all the character trappings, even if my musical ability has fairly severe limits.  And I'm the guy who never attempts to put on "the look", and frankly am put off by those who do.   They look like musicians and I am squirrelly like one.

Then there are actual real deal musicians and I can't say more about that.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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