Thursday, March 7, 2013

Valley Ain't Dead

Perhaps you've noticed that valley speak is not just for California valley girls.   In the SoCal environment, it took me a few years before I could understand what women under 35 were saying, but I have it almost mastered now.

The downside is that understanding the words doesn't go a long way toward making sense of the content.

Knowing that it is futile to attempt much in the way of understanding, I've settled for mentally cataloging certain characteristics in valley pronunciation and sentence flow.  It is mandatory that a proper valley girl end sentences in a low sort of girl growl.

News women have picked up on this, so it is a bit of a national epidemic.  May as well include flight attendants who aren't satisfied with emphasizing unlikely prepositions and such.  We've got a crisis ON our hands.

And the word "you" no longer rhymes well with the word "who".  You is pronounced "yeow", and is best said at the end of sentences in a fading girl growl.

There are many words like that, but yeow is the best example.  Lots of times the vowel E is pronounced as if it were a A, but that gets tricky.  Example: OK, say whan (when).  The last words of sentences must include both the growl and the vowel butchering.

Conspiracy?   Perhaps.  I suspect the young women are being brainwashed at the tattoo parlor, and the waxing/bleaching salons.  I'm not suggesting any legislation at this point, but beware.

I'm wondering if people practice this accent, then go try it out on their friends at the local night club.   Probably so.

I wonder if this ties in with the whole weapons ban controversy.   Admittedly, at this point the connection is not clear, but few connections are when it comes to legislative feeding frenzies.

Think yeowww.   (thank is another word which must be altered for proper valley speak)

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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