Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Things I've learned So Far on this Tour

I learned that I can be chased by bad loneliness if I am not careful. I've altered my original plan regarding route just because it seemed like it would be easier to stave off the blues if I did so.

I learned that my family and their various extended families by in-law connection tend to drink a lot. It bores me and makes the closeness not so close in festive settings. But for that same reason, I learned that when key things come up I am able to take care of it. They rarely even realize I saved them big trouble. Sometimes the do.

I'm not sorry I don't have to have alcohol every time I'm around people.

I'm playing the Crest Community Center on Sat. night, so I'll be back by then. I may just time it so I go there on the way home.

I like swimming in rivers and sailing off of rope swings.

In spite of all, I learned that I have a rather accomplished family--no need to worry about them in most ways--, and that brings a sense of comfort that they are doing well, and a sense of failure on my part. I realize that I blew it early on. I could yet feel better about things depending on what I do and how I do it. I also realize that relying on the estimation or approval of others, and doubting myself have been key elements in letting good things pass me by. Oh well. Life is far better than it was not long ago, and it continues.

But I'm the only one who ever had any ideas patented. But I didn't know how to play it so great, it worked and I let millions slide due to my bewilderment at corrupt business and government. Still, I know.

I want that perfect ballistic babe to join me for the duration of the tour (the Big Tour, Life, not this road trip). Surely this will come to pass. On a good day I'm decent company.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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