Thursday, September 26, 2013

It Used to Flow

Part of the trouble is that I'm fading fast.  No spark, no one to take care of or visa versa.   The drive is in park.  So, I can't write or do much else of an optional nature.  Don't care.

The other part gives rise to my new rule; never let friends or anyone else know this blog is here.

Not if any of it is negative or mocking.  I'm that sensitive, to a point.

Yes, I am that closed minded and, more importantly, that easily influenced and discouraged.
Comments are different than complaints and back seat navigation of my thoughts and words.  And despair.

If you don't like this then change the page.  It is not for the liking.  It is for my sanity, which hangs by a very thin thread.   I cannot put those I know, who disapprove, and the occasional stalking lunatic, out of my mind long enough to enjoy just writing what comes to mind, like I used to do.

Something has to change.  If I were to die now, my last words would probably be, "I'm sorry".   My new goal is to be able to offer my brother, at least, something better than that.  I doubt I'll ever achieve that.  I want to feel something other than sorrow and regret for screwing up what should be a good enough life.

On the positive side I have not nearly as much to legitimately regret as the late Ted Kennedy, or the last two or three presidents.  Or any of the evil idiots who successfully fool the population and keep people stupid, drunk and angry based on their tribe.  And who dial in murders in one form or another.

Even so, I can't shake it.  I'm one who should have married young---someone very loyal and patient.  I'm the type who probably needed a good woman's influence the whole time.  I had it a time or two, but I compulsively screw up good things.  I guess I should blame them for allowing me to get away.

OK.  So we come to the undeniable conclusion that I am the victim here, and there is a woman, or more, to blame.

By the way, some women's studies departments, and hard core feminists** insist on spelling woman or women, "womyn".  For real.   I had no idea.

**I believe lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that, of course) may be a more suitable word, or proud purveyors of misandry,  those with acute androphobia.
Really?   To avoid using the words "man" and "men" we misspell women or woman in a brave new way to celebrate mother nature or spontaneous conception or anything that includes womyn and not those evil,...I can't bring myself to say the word.   Let's just call that segment of humynity "the outies"  Innie is good.  Outie is no good.

No wonder the ultra militant feminists are so angry.   Try talking about hu-beings without the letter combination "m a n" or "m e n".   Even "person" is a patriarchal term, obviously rooted in a disrespect for, possibly even a hatred of, womyns.
Hu-being and per-being shall henceforth replace "human", barf, and "person", spit, barf.

Womyn may be old news to most.  I guess I thought they were joking until now.

Of course I am still fond of the spelling, "wimmin".  Or better yet, "wimmins".

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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