Saturday, August 8, 2009

Good Fear, Bad Fear

Some of the best things in life are accompanied by a little dose of fear. It is what makes it exciting and releases all those chemicals and hormones inside. The electric eye lock, anticipation before a performance, getting the job, etc.

If that is true then the assertion that all we have to fear is fear itself, is not entirely true. Of course one with my views would have tended to fear the power of the man speaking more than the fear to which he was referring.

Bad fear, now, that is a horse of a different color. That's the stuff that drags you down if left unchecked. It is an interesting twist how fear of the unknown can be channeled into the good or the bad category depending upon how neurotic a person is. I know people who can turn finding a pot of gold into another example of how the universe is abusive.

There are times when I think I am oblivious to certain fears I ought to indulge. I know I have knee jerk reaction which are borne of fears that aren't to be indulged and which are kind of silly. Going to a stranger's house for dinner is a biggie. I'll know someone who is on the inside track with the people, that person invites me, and then I freak. I'm getting better but the first reaction is flight; flee for your life!

That one would surprise even my family. My brother has the idea that I am comfortable in all social circumstances with all people. Surprising considering my time in hermetically sealed hermitdom. When you are incommunicado for long periods, people get to write whatever script they choose, if they are inclined to account for your time.

Fear of returning to dark times and super isolation is a good fear, as long as you don't overdo it.

What a remarkable year and some. Today is absolutely perfect here on Ballistic Mountain. Light breeze, maybe 70F, pale blue sky, just incredible. Just a hint of something in the air. If I were back east, down south, I'd be sure it was the first breath of autumn. There is always a day toward the end of summer when you get that first little breath, then it continues to be summer for another month, but not as hot as before, in general. This feels a lot like that but I know the climate is different and we'll have some hot days to come in Sept.

Another turn of events found me at a front row table for the San Diego pops symphony doing a show last night. It had a Broadway theme. What a surprise. The singers that were featured were unbelievable. They are hotshots on Broadway and I can see why. Not many cities could have such an event under the stars on the waterfront at the edge of downtown. If the weather didn't screw it up, the ignorant sub human citizens would. Sorry, but I've lived too many places where the riffraff abounds and they have only outward resemblance to anything human. Their minds are something less noble.

You find a few cities out west which have the ability to conduct nice events without much trouble. I like the Caribbean as far as thoughts of hitting islands and the look of the water, but I like the Pacific coast for a place to be. I'm still pinching myself to be sure I'm really here, and happy. The abundance of misguided greenery and laws are scary, but even with that there is more freedom in some ways.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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