Monday, May 11, 2015

It's Twue, It's Twue!!! Music does soothe the savage beast

We had a practice tonight.  I guess I haven't played with the Enter the Blue Sky group in many days, or a week or so.  I forgot I could feel that good.  It immediately removed my free floating anger and frustration.  I cannot believe how my mood shifted after a song or two.  Really remarkable.

All I wanted to do was punch doctors and yell at anyone and everyone when I arrived.  Then I was only too happy to just be alive and be playing with nice people.

This is why I rarely trust my anger and a certain sort of judgement.  I am often too far off to take my feelings as solidly rooted in reality.  I know this.  It seems most people do not know that anger can tend to bring about injustice, warped assessment of others, and a host of problems.  Not that it is not sometimes in order.

 If you are not mad a looters, you are probably a duped progressive and need to lay off the koolaid.

If you really think muslims are oppressed and misunderstood, you again need to cut down on the koolaid.

Controlling anger and understanding how it can lead to unfair view or treatment of others does not mean one has to pretend that the aberrant and base are somehow valid and worthwhile.

State of the Dissociative Runaway Train Notes

So, if they list possible side effects, it is possible that some may occur.
Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are out to get you.  They may just be discourteous, rude, or incompetent.  Then again, who knows?

A day long nose bleed is not so bad if it bleeds real slow like a minor runny nose.

I wish I had never heard Dock of the Bay.   Much as I like it, that one line just won't leave me alone.
And it makes things worse because it is true.

I remember when it started, or when I gave in to it.  Big mistake.  If you are a parent, you better find a way to help your offspring learn how life works, not how it doesn't.  And if you are a shallow jerk, I suggest leaping from the north rim of the Grand Canyon.

If it says, "If any of these symptoms occur, call your doctor immediately, and if you know the arrogant bastard is just going to say, "Well, maybe give it another few days or a week, and then see how it is.", why bother calling?   (or better yet, he may say, "I don't see why that should happen. I don't know what you want me to do") After all, spontaneous bruising from no known stimulus is nothing.  Big red and black blotches save you the cost of getting a meaningless (to anyone being honest) tattoo.  "Yea, I had elements of the Rorschach test permanently installed on my arm and calf."   Cool.  Almost as cool as that Frankenstein calf tattoo.

I tie it all up in a neat tidy package.  All of it.  Pushy government, dogmatic, passive-aggressive educational systems, the evolution of corporate-speak, and cries for idiots to control health care and retirement.  I could go on.  It is the same mentality for everything annoying.

People cannot live and let live.  If little twitty pricks think they are smart, they will run around doing all they can to prove it, preferably at the expense of others.  Eventually they are the ones who assure us that they know best what is good for us.  Since most of "us" are lazy, confused, and haggard from trying to make sense of it, we tend to let "them" have their way.

That just makes the creeps believe even more firmly in their intellectual superiority and their right to dictate how lives, resources and, lately, thought,  should be distributed, used and created.

I guess this is not just a manifestation of a depressed and ruined life.  It could be that the biological complex is steadily spiraling into total failure.

So, why am I mad?  I am mad because I did it all wrong and I don't think I have been much help to others over the course of this run.  And I cannot stand the institutionalized attitude, lack of thought, incompetence and false promise of hope.  Those bastards are not where hope lies.  Maybe sometimes. Not in this case.  The closer you get to the socialized aspect of the medical world, the less they give a damn about your life, and the more they tend to think of you as too dumb to live anyway.

I think a huge last tour will be in the offing eventually.  Otherwise I sit here and go to pieces from the remedy which is supposed to prevent me from going to pieces.

Believe me, the good things that come through in the world of medicine have a real fight finding their place due to the passionate idiocy, and general misanthropic policies which are implemented with a smile.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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