Saturday, October 31, 2015

Packed House

What a surprise.  When it cm time to play the Kaffe Meister coffee shop--really good espresso--the place was getting crowded.  By the time we played a couple of songs, it was packed, and remained so until the end.  What an enthusiastic crowd.  Some familiar faces.

This was a good outing.  I think we did well.  The reception was certainly remarkable.  In a place that serves food and various beverages, you are doing well if there is not a lot of chatter.  I'm not one who gets too worked up if people talk, but it is cool to notice their rapt attention.

Maybe that look I saw on some faces was the kind of interest one shows when watching a train derail.  Who knows?  In any case, they were definitely paying attention. My chiropractor and his wife show up, too.  That was cool.

They reacted enthusiastically.  Having Alberto on bass is a crowd pleaser, too.  They like it when he climbs up on the stand up bass.  People go for those things.  It worked out well.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Why Not Me - 10/27/15

If you go here thousands of times, maybe we could play on Jimmy Kimmel.  Really that is the way it works.  Of course I'd rather play Jimmy Fallon show, but Kimmel is just fine with me.  So, if you have software that lets you inundate sites with visits, make it go here     and listen a bunch, or something.  I want numbers, so I don't care about any listening

The Same Wasn't That Great Anyway

It is dawning on me that my life has definitely changed,  and it will never be the same again.  Then I realized that I was not that thrilled with it when it was the same.  I do not like having system malfunctions, but it is probably what is needed to force me to finally either overcome whatever the invisible limiter and saboteur in my life has been, or just succumb and give up.  The former option has fortunately been gaining the upper hand lately.  That is hard to maintain.

But that is the goal, so we try.  I wish I had the means to just travel around the country indefinitely.  I don't even care to go to too many other countries right now.  So, maybe I will quit being frozen lazy and figure it out before it is all over.  Definitely a tough race.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Four days if one or two gigs per day

And most of them pay well.  It is so rare that you hear that in the small time, unknown, original music scene.  But some sets will be covers.  I think we do two hours of original then two hours of covers and spanish songs.  The spanish ones are my favorites.  At least some of them.

I have had little time to practice or even listen on my own. We did some at practice. The viola player likes to call it rehearsal, with practice being whatever you do on your own.  I'm sure I'm meant to have a doctorate in some odd branch of psychology.  Perfect subjects for my doctorate continually drop into my life.   I realize that I am no different, but I prefer not to dwell on that.

What makes it so fun, beside the fact that I like the songs, is that they all are so enthusiastic about my playing.  It always surprises me.  Last night I sat in with Chris and Emily and Richard resonator.  If you do not know who they are, they are the people with whom I sat in last night at Lakeside VFW.  It was on my way home from the house of dignitaries.

Country is actually very hard for me.  It will go along like I expect, then it either goes up when I go down or vice versa.  Country and blues have much in common, but there is that point where one goes one way, and one, the other.  It just takes doing it and before long it all makes sense.  It is still not first nature for the most part.  But I like playing with those guys.  Richard plays a mean Dobro, although his is some other make.  The generic term is "resonator".  

There were very few people at that VFW last night.  Apparently that is unusual. I suspect it was due to the debates. That clientele is the demographic that is interested and involved in some way; posters, bumper stickers, clipboards full of paper looking for signatures.  Even so, it was a good time.

I often feel guilty because all the bending and overblowing (causing the pitch to rise, as opposed to standard bends) that great players have always done seems secondary, at best, to me.  I don't really think about it. I just think the sound or something.  All my life I really focused mostly on single note play.  Now I do chords like crazy.  Lots of split chords. On harmonica that is when you block one or more holes in the middles and play some number of holes on either side. A real variety of sounds can result.  You can sort of imply a note you don't exactly have.  Somehow the chord works instead.

Depends on the texture of the thing whether you want to bend or not.

Still, compared to what lots of people can do, I am surprised at the ones who choose me on purpose. I think only some other harp players like my playing.  There is a harmonica culture to some extent, and little, or even large, cliques with impose these standards. Nothing official, just peer pressure I think.

I have seen forums with comments from people boasting of their ability to bend certain notes and how anyone who can't is a piker, blablabla.  I always feel bad because I rarely make any effort or even think I can do whatever it was they mentioned.  I must enjoy playing. I think it is because I like interacting with people.  I mean, I play a thing that is really not that much fun to play without people either playing, too, or encouraging enough that I take it back. I rarely like the solo thing, playing for a small crowd.  Much rather be jamming.

No Ninja Door Jam Repair

Some months ago, I didn't think I could rely on myself to get the work done that needs doing over at the resort house.  My friend, Jim, is sure I am employed as a lawn jockey there.  No too far off.

Back then, I brought a drummer on board.  Not to play drums, but he allegedly had skills.  I was having the aquagenic pruritus phenomenon visit me daily; any time I exerted at all.  So it seemed.

He turned out to be a complete lunatic, and I do not mean that lightly.  I may have outlined the disaster many months ago.  I don't recall.

This guy had some fantasy that he was living the life of a samurai warrior, or some other Asian offshoot.  "The true warrior lives as if he has already died; thus they can focus only on being of service to others--like I do."  Grasshopper, give me a friggin break!

Besides the fact that I had to re-do much of his work, he owes me $100.  He went to Arizona so we do not cross paths.  But he has re-written history enough that I hear he is planning on passing through.  Several people would be happen if he did not bother to stop.  Maybe if he bec omes convinced that a real ninja would just stay the hell out of Dodge, he will vanish into the night before we mortals even know the mystic warrior has tread among us.

Due to the hyroxyurea, and my sensitivity to it, the attacks almost ceased for awhile.  I got him out of there, and have gradually been doing more myself.  Lately the AP has returned, despite my improved lab numbers.  But now I have plans and strategies for mitigating the issue.  Plus I decided to do everything I can to vanquish the dangerous blues that want to swallow me.  Fighting to get things done helps.  It is not so easy though.

Today I finished the double door, out-behind-the-house equipment room door jam.  It was half rotted from a prior water heater leak.  It was long ago.  It was a little spray leak in a line, so it went up high.

Be that as it may. Originally I thought the new MFWIC was going to hire Rico (whom we are sure is a cleaner for the CIA) to do the job.  After the secret service visited, I asked if he wanted me to try or was he going to call Rico.  He asked me to go ahead.  Seriously, I am not really a handy man.  I am just a guy who figures out some way to do a thing, and the people who hire me are usually pleased.

This was a bear of a task.  And it definitely showed me that I really may have some physical issues going on, that I can still mange to get things done, I can operate a portable table saw without losing fingers, and I can push on even when dizzy or whatever.  It feels so good when you know the little roadblocks which are on top of the usual difficulties of retro fit, remodel, and working in tight spaces.

I think I pushed about as far as I could without seriously being dangerous.  Right to that edge, plus just a little bit.  Just enough left to put everything away clean up the site, and somehow lose my travel mug.  It was dark pretty quick.  Lighting there is horrible. Seriously the worst outdoor night time lighting ever.  They paid a designer to do that.  Sick.

It occurred to me that the ex employee ninja psycho claimed that the problem was that the whole thing was interior door stuff.  He was wrong, of course.  His vision included solid wood doors with dents made by a router to look like louvres. The present door has real vent capabilities, not just pretend.   Anyway, I am convinced that this guy could not do the job.  Even so, I had visions of him sneaking up on the project in a ninja suit, shouting fake Japanese.  The vision did not go beyond that.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Old Mirror Deal

First, I have to say that I managed to fix the car in time to make it to the doctor.  That included a trip to the dealer for a part at 7:30 am when they opened.  The other part, I already obtained from the O'Reilley's in El Cajon.

I only had to use my new magnet-on-a-flexible-stick four or five times.  Each time to retrieve a bolt from hiding places not visible.  It worked, but took time.

Anyway, I am happy with the result and I have AC, which has become a necessity with my aquagenic pruritus issue.  That is what the itching deal is called in the very tiny circle of people who know what it is.  No one knows the mechanics of why it happens, and, though it is very common with JAK2 mutation positive people, many doctors have never encountered it, and aren't sure what to think.

In some ways I find this reminiscent of how migraines used to be.  I no longer have that issue, but they both may have some recognizable clue that the attack is imminent.  With experience, one can learn to head off a migraine--in some cases.  I was a lucky one that could often do that.  Same with this itch/ant attack feeling thing. And when it passes, it is just like when a migraine would finally wash away.  Almost like a chill or something that comes in a wave. Or goes in a wave.  Very similar.

I am not in a position to go for a doctorate, but I believe one could find a connection between this phenomenon and migraines.  It could be a breakthrough.  I seem to be the only one drawing the connection, but that does not mean I am wrong.

Here's the eat crow part.  I have to admit, maybe I was too hard on my doctor.  Besides, he now has a really competent very attractive, hot new associate.  She asks the right questions and explains things better.  And he behaves better with her around.  She is sharp.

It may be my good fortuen to be so sensitive to hydrea.  I have seen posts on MPN forums from people whose levels were similar to mine re platelets and such but they had to take triple my dose to lower the values into a safe range.  So, I appear to have decent enough levels now, as long as I keep up the dose, as is.

This could go on indefinitely.  There is no requirement that it get worse.  It may not.

Aside from that, the depression issue has been a little scary.  I worked like crazy to mitigate that issue. Work and associating with others when possible are a couple of items in the plan.  Also key is to try to push myself to do one more thing than I think I can at work or at home.  Like with the car. I was going to pull into a shop, then I thought maybe I should exhaust my troubleshooting skills first, even if I really did not think I could deal with it.

This may all, or most, sound silly or obvious, but to me, just normal daily tasks are often daunting and confusing.  Part of being an idiot savant, I think.  You may say, "I get the idiot part, but where does the savant come in?".  Very funny.  I won't even dignify such a query.  That dignify routine is a way to play self righteous in hopes of avoiding specifics or the need to provide proof.  You see it all the time.

Work is good and plentiful at the moment.  We play Fri. night, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  I think we play twice on Sat. and Sun.  Day of the Dead weekend, plus Halloween, plus the coffee house gig on FRi., unrelated to any of those holidays.  As far as I know.

Man this new bass player's attitude must make us play better.  I really think the unique blend is beginning to gel, and to finally blend.  I am liking it.  Plus I get lots of love in the sense of other musicians liking what I play.  Harmonica John thinks I am an infidel, I'm sure.  That's why most musicians around know me as Ian.  Got tired of people calling me harmonica John when that guy already calls himself that, in some official sense. I would never do that, anyway.  But the Ian part helped train people.

So, in short: I can see the physical status can probably be maintained at this level as long as I keep the hydrea coming, attitude may have a hand in giving the edge to a more favorable health situation, reducing isolation, coupled with tackling things which challenge me a little helps chase the blues away for another day or hour.

I know what needs doing in order to have more people around me that I like.  Minimize the immediate chaos, clutter, uncertainty, neglect, and lack of organization.  And little by little progress is being had.  It has plagued me forever but even at this advanced age, it can, technically, change.  I would respect myself more for attempting this rather than give in to the idea that it is too late to do or have anything I think leads to a healthy happy existence.

I have probably been here before to some extent.  But, I smoked from age 19 until I was 120.  So, now it has been, what, almost 2 years?  Pretty sure that is right.  Maybe we are going on three, but I doubt it.  January will be two, at least.  That is correct.  I do not smoke, and haven't, for some number of years between one and three, inclusive.  Must be two.

That shows that one can change a long term bad habit or practice, and it won't kill you to do so.  There is possible evidence that smoking may increase chances of acquiring certain types of Myeloprolific Neoplasms.  It would not be smart or uplifting in any way, were I to start smoking again.

I may yet not be the weakling and wimp we have grown to dislike.  To actually succeed in the ways that are needed by being strong would be such a piece of Heaven.  But I can tell you, depression is every bit as physical as mental.  Probably much more physical.  I know my mind is lying but no amount of insight stops the physical feeling of it.  But, since I know the physical depression is all part of the lie, I do all I can to go against it by doing one more work item, or stopping by a jam or open mic. I know the people so I force myself to socialize.  It helps.  Now we need big pay for the savant part of the idiot savant routine.

Was still having rougher go of it at this practice.  Tonight was much better. Even so, I like it.  I leave feeling better after practices, even if they aren't great.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Art of Mating Zen and Three Stooges Craftsmanship into DIY Auto Repair

Holy smoke!
The idler pulley had actually disintegrated or otherwise disappeared.  

The story of my successful foray into removal of the part, and fishing belt strands out from the pulleys from around which they were tangled, can best be illustrated by the fact that aside from the part, a healthy magnet on a long flexible shaft was at top of my list in the parts store.

That sentence is so long, I don't think I want to even read it.

Overall success, so far.  Have to install it with the belts in the morning.  Then I will have AC again, which is vital.  But the bright side is that it is getting done, and I did more than I thought I would.  That is the new deal.  Do one thing more whenever possible.  It is very hard to maintain, but it does help with severe blues.  And the goal is to win before it is all over.  The tendency is to concede defeat and give up, citing one thing after another to support the proposition that it is over and I am forever worthless.  I am attempting to break this pattern.

If I were to actually achieve the goal I have in mind, I would either be a stronger person than I think I am, or I would be touched by some sort of miracle.  But that doesn't mean it can't happen.

Cooling Off

So, earlier the A/C stopped working.  The tensioner pulley bearing froze causing the belt to fall apart. Oddly, very little noise was involved.

So, it happened this was a day off, sort of.  Chiropractor day; last for awhile.  As I let the car cool off, I realize that being rather poor, financially, it is lucky that I could think to look and realize I will have to replace the pulley and belt, and that I probably can do it successfully. If I had the money, I would have dropped it at a shop, grabbed a rental, and been on my way.

Or if I were truly wealthy, my loving spouse, or other family, would come pick me up and we'd go off into perfect world land.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Other Than That,

all is well.
a couple of long gone relatives claimed they were told that a rainbow meant all will be OK.  There were two but I was driving down the hill with the phone out the window, so I didn't know what the image would be.  Missing a rainbow.

 Really, you look at what a large portion of the world does to survive a day, and a highly troubled life here looks good.  And then one might say to himself, "You are not only worthless, you are a brat!! Get over it.".  And I will reply, I see your point.

Once Again, Right On the Edge

Actually, I never really got off the edge, but the exodus from Memphis gave some momentum to something new.  The traveling become the only pain relief, but I couldn't stay and enjoy any one spot because the aloneness of it made me nauseous and full of regret, etc.

Now all that is coming back like a tidal wave.  I like tidal wave better than the word tsunami.  Shows I am not really very continental or interested in the larger scope of humanity outside the U.S.  How pedestrian and ignorant.

I have found that work is the key, and people are the key.  I have to unburden my personal life so the barriers to real company are removed.  I've let myself drift dangerously off the healthy path.  And I don't know that I can stop the drift.  I had better do it.  It may be possible.  I'll bet it is.  And if I do manage to return to some semblance of sanity and purpose, I will know I earned it.  And maybe I will even find some self respect for doing so.

Then again, maybe not.  The moral is: don't screw up everything while you still have the faculties to just do an honorable day's work and build a nice life and family.  Be loyal to those around you, and do not run from possible mates, but make it your mission to help them feel special and good for being who they are and alive.  Try to strengthen the partnership and do it right, even if you have to face unflattering truths.  I ran, instead.  It was the wrong thing to do, and I imagine God marked me off long ago because of it.

Or maybe I marked me off.  I must be made of better stuff than this.  I am sure something stunted my whole life.  Does it matter what, if the end result is disaster regardless?  Correcting course makes more sense than stewing over what caused the compass to fail in the first place.  Especially if the compass is long gone, and now we are using celestial navigation.

And listening to pop culture 'wisdom' and government sounding nonsense which urges the culture in stupid directions is suicide too.  Remember as recently as the 80's they were touting the non-addictive properties of cocaine?  They were.  They being the same ones who hog the airwaves beginning sentences with we, and our.  Our children are our greatest resource.  Right there is a start to the problem.

Who owns "our" children?  Do they own themselves?  Do their parents have a say?  Maybe it is just a big collective we that owns all souls, and the majority decides all for all.

Didn't help in my case.  What, now, do "we" do with "our" seniors?   Obviously, we must do something!!!  Isn't that the deal?   We Must do something!!!!  For the love of God, people, we must Do something; people got shot two thousand miles away!!!   It doesn't have to make sense. The presentation just needs to be breathlessly emotional, bordering on hysteria, and it must restrict someone's rights or freedoms.  Then people can feel safe again.  It does not need to actually solve the problem.  It just needs to help the overwrought hysterical narrative along.  And it works best if we select bad guys who have nothing to do with the initial problem.

How can I apply this on the individual level so I don't die with a dirty house?  That is the question. I must do Something!  Oh, right. I already tried that approach and the real troubles never disappeared.  shucks

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Now You Know What I Know  That page as all I know about what's up. I am not discussing it much more.  Many of them have the fatigue, itching attacks, etc.  I have not been tested for the philadelphia mutation.  I am JAK2 positive, which is the other one.  Since we can influence blood levels so far, we have avoided a bone marrow excavation.   They stick a needle into your hip bone.  No. Let's wait if we can.

Anyway, so maybe it is more and maybe not, and maybe it will change and maybe not.  I hate having to work around setting off attacks.  They happen just about every day.  Good thing there is a hot hot shower at work.  But it still takes time away, and is a bad situation when others are there.  At least my main coworker knows the deal and is accommodating.  I don't like it, though.

So, that is that.  I will see the arrogant doc next week.  I will be nice unless he pushes.  If he is disrespectful, I will just ask him if he would appreciate such a jerk of a physician if he were in my shoes.  If he says I'm a jerk of a patient, I will agree, then tell him I'll get someone I do not want to punch.

A week from Friday we play a coffee house in Santee or somewhere like that.  The next three days we play Day of the Dead celebration in Old Town.  A hodgepodge of Mexican and California and who knows history and lore.  But the holiday is definitely a Mexican thing.  Dia de los Muertos

Here's The Deal RE News of any kind

Look, Walter Cronkite couldn't even get a simple, easy quote right when Neil Armstrong hopped down on the moon and spoke.  Anyone who listened for themselves and believed what they heard, and what made sense, rather than Walt's bastardization of that incredible milestone in  human history, knew he did not say, "One small step for man..".  He said "One small step for A man...".  Geez, think about it.

As Walter quoted him, Neil would be contradicting himself, and making no sense.  In that sense, man and mankind become synonymous.  So is it a small step or a giant leap?

Anyway, they finally corrected it in the last few years or so.  Forty years, plus!!

The point is, they often get it wrong, and people believe it, even when they are watching an event live.  People will go along with what they are told to think.  It was like the Emperor's new clothes; everyone pretended that "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" makes sense.  It does not.

Why it took so long for NASA to get it right, I do not know.  It proves that Walter was not much of a critical thinker, and that he was not the most reliable source that ever was.  But he sounded so kindly and authoritative.  People wanted him to be right because he sounded good and looked credible, and safe somehow.

So, if they couldn't even get that right, and people watched and didn't bat an eye over the nonsensical translation of Neil's words, you really want the majority, or anyone else, to have a lot of power?  This is why limits were what the Constitution was attempting to establish. To prevent or mitigate the tyranny of the majority.

I think it is a valid illustration.  Not only can bad info become accepted right before our eyes, we tend to go along because it seems the thing to do.  That requires turning a blind eye to what you know and think.  Weird.  But there you have it.  And for forty years the lie spread, and was even carved in stone in various monuments.

I'm old. I watched the landing live, and I cussed Walter while he misspoke.  No one listened. I was young and had a bit of a brush with the law, and the case was pending.  I would gladly have traded places with Neil.  Or even Walter.  But I would not have screwed up the quote.

Is it just me, or has Geraldo become Fox's answer to Chris Matthews at wherever he works--CNN?  Here's our network horse's ass, and this election, he will be the one supplying us with cutting edge buffoonery.  Matthews sets the bar high for biased half truths and weirdness.

I think that Geraldo can best him if he tries.  Deep down he's every bit the blow hard that Chris is.


Friday, October 16, 2015

They're Probably Right

It hasn't escaped me that I have been a self absorbed broken record for quite some time.   Depressed, sick, and blablabla about whatever.  Originally I thought I was toning it down so maybe it was OK.  But I realize that is just not how it goes.  And that is as it should be.

Sometimes I think if I described the way most days are constructed, it would be too much.  Even some is too much.

The crux of the matter is that no one else really believes I am suddenly going to fall apart and kick the bucket.  Only I think that,. and I can be way off base when it comes to some things.  Knowing which things is not my strongest point of intelligence.

It seems like there are upcoming playing commitments.  I do not know what I will do Christmas.  There may be enough work here that I am better off not to go right now.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Maybe it will work out.

So, we are playing for some amount of hours on Halloween, and the next day, and the day after that.  Dia de los dead people.   Big celebration in Old Town, and a bunch of local people who play what works there, get paid decently to play.  I can use the money, and any time spent away from myself, alone, is good.  It is good to be working in some way and also around people.  Or any goal oriented activity I guess.  Even parasailing.  That may be good.

Another time.  Oh yea, we play an hour at Kaffe Meister.  You know, with a Kraut name like that you'd think, "Coffee?  What these Krauts be knowing about no coffee?"

You cannot fool me, I know those were your exact inner words.  Well, I will tell you what these steenkeeng diesel smelling German's got going; Kaffe Meister is the best espresso in town; and related drinks.

Believe me, I was miffed to find out the place refused to be like the coffee house version of Hogan's Heroes.  I was hoping.

Did I mention we played an acoustic set and did an interview on some local radio?  Very nice facilities but I doubt anyone listens.  Maybe the educational world. I don't know.  I listen to an affiliate in the same building.  Whatever.  This new bass player, the young guy, is really making it better.  He may not have been playing long but he makes us better at this point in time.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury

...the defense, the prosecution, and everyone else, rests.

So, that was that. I cannot believe how often I have been tapped for that.  I cannot imagine any prosecutor who would be eager to have me on a jury.  It depends upon the case, so I don't think my preconceived notions hold a tremendous amount of credible weight.

I did end up having my name called for a case upstairs. We all gathered there, and waited.  A couple of times one official or another would pop up out of thin air to explain something in a spiraling fashion, if you can picture such a thing.   That is referring to the words.  Similar to talking in circles.

It is clear that I need this work.  This activity.   Who would have thought I would get a jump start from you knowwho Mr. rhymes with resident.

Really?  Would this be a bit of irony?   I actually have more reverence for the process, the office, the country, I guess, than I realized.

At any rate, it may have put things in such a light that it all works well for my benefit, as well as my coworker.

It is not a cure all but it can help keep the blues almost at arm's length.  The whole visit scenario, keeping a lid on it, etc., was the most fun I have had in a long time; one little issue or question after another.  If you had encountered the people I did, all feds of one kind or another, you would probably have to rethink any negative stereotypes you might have of those people.

I think I enjoy the company of very smart, resourceful, and respectful people.   I don't know if anyone but Clinton ever realized that running for president is like auditioning for a part that lasts forever.  And once you hit the stage, you are never again out of the theater.  I think Clinton didn't tire of acting as quickly as some did.

Politics was never implied or stated one way or the other.  All about need-to-know, privacy and protection.  These are the people you would want on your side in just about any situation.   So that is good to know.  I am not weighing in on scandals, etc.  Just giving today's observations.  There must be far more remarkable people between 25 and 40 than there are remarkable journalists of any age.

They present a lunatic brainwashed future, if you pay much attention to most news sources.  I think they will overdo some of the "let's be Denmark" attitude, but they will be alright, if the don't lose their heads...

Monday, October 12, 2015

I have Proof of Genius out of D.C.

There is a remote chance you do not know my name, or else you forgot it.  So I try to take meaaures to maintain the status quo in that regard.  It seems safer.

But you have to be sharp to recognize my amazing professionalism and unique abilities,.  So, needless to say, I can vouch for the White House whatever it says office because they have the integrity to give me a certificate of swell-o.  No dimwit would do that. 

They seriously are very sharp people.  This country produces some remarkable people.  Like this genius group.  They just stuck the ones with no personality off by themselves and the personable ones do all the dealing with outsiders.  Highly impressive people. And all of them young. A few may be into their thirties. The older ones looked more worried. The younger ones just looked happy and highly competent.  Incompetents would have never have noticed my superb attitude.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Chapter 1052015

Just putting up posts like someone with an audience and something to say!

Well, who knows...

Not knowing if it was because of inner alarms of undefined trigger, or general anxiety about all the dead end depression, or because it just wasn't working, I canceled playing at hardrock with G and Richard Resonator.  I always like playing with Richard so I gave the trio idea for this a shot. We ran through stuff yesterday, at the ranch, and it became clear that G, who has real difficulty with the patterns of things like consistent timing structure; ex, 4/4 time and you do this for four measures, etc.  Measures will lengthen a beat or two, etc. under G's guidance.  It can be a mess.

Anyway, since they had played this stuff several times lately, G seemed more comfortable just the two of them.  That is how it seemed to me.  Richard and I wanted to play but found it hard to interact while trying to react with light speed to his unpredictable style.  Plus I was not enjoying the music.  So, it was no fun, and on the one song I did feel a little comfortable, G said I was throwing him off and wanted me to sit out.

I'd rather just play that song and go home.  Most of the others are just not me.

I gave it overnight in case I was being impulsive, then I told them it would go better without me that I felt uncomfortable with the material and wouldn't do it publicly feeling that way.

Then I hear that after the gig, G tells Richard I bailed on the gig because I don't like playing with Richard.  That is so wrong.  First, you don't disregard someone's feelings with info that is not yours to share, true or not.  But in this case it is completely false.  Opposite of true.

I have sung the praises of R.R. to everyone.  Especially after the recording studio experience for the Marine.  Richard's dobro set the feel of that whole project.  It was fantastic, and I told everyone I played with during that period how good it was etc.  So, for someone to do that is a little over the top.

Why he could not accept that I felt it wasn't working and that it was better just tow of them, I do not know.  I guess he'd have to conclude that the nature of him makes it hard for two people to back him.

This is the junior high kind of nonsense you get when you try to play music with people.   It does not get better with age, overall.  It gets worse.

It is too bad there wasn't something solid enough that we could play because we each have odd styles and play off one another real well.  It works.

It was good he called to clear the air.  He'd heard I had said good things so G's idea that I wanted to avoid him sounded off to him.  But he's like me, hanging by a thread, and doesn't need to be kicked in the gut.  In his case, I get why.  In mine, I have no idea.  But here I am, and it is getting freaky lately.  So, little things like being able to mean something on a call like that help. That is why you better keep the people around that you have.  You may not know just how great you have it until you have become the last one standing in your barren little world.

I know.  Maybe I don't know how great I have it in my barren little world, compared to where I'll be if I don't find  way to see the good and the hope and function as if I care.  It is paradoxical but I think I have to do for others in some way in order to get a handle on, or motivation to tackle, my own mess.

The Difference, so far

In the overly dramatic recounting of the Katrina New Orleans saga, all you heard was blame and helplessness, and people shooting at rescue choppers, and looting.  Many of the stories about racist nursing home owners and heartless ones proved 100% false and the people maligned were actually very compassionate and had risked everything to help people.

Never let fact in the way.  It wasn't a Katrina issue, it was "you live below sea level and the dutch boy is pulling his finger from the dyke at any minute" issue.   You need to be sure the levees are in order and that redundant systems are in place.  Otherwise, all it takes is one little thing and it is all history.

No.  It was Bush's fault because he hates black people.  According to people like Spike Jones, and many others who weighed in with creative fiction at the time,  white people are obsessed with race and think about it all the time.  So, they made a weather event to kill black people.  They made them shoot at helicopters and Bush is an obsessed racist.

Come on.  New Orleans, at least that district they always talk about was populated with morons. Their state and city were governed by morons and opportunists.  No surprise; most places are.

Anyway.  In Columbia you hear about people finding creative ways to help one another.  Maybe soon they will blame someone and start massively stealing and looting.  But so far, they do not react like they did in Louisiana.  Maybe the governor and general population are a little more removed from the idea that government is a parental sort of god which can do anything on a whim.  I prayed to the government to come get me and they didn't so I drowned.

It would be such torture to many people with various ailments and limitations to deal with that sort of flooding and lack.  Shortage of everything in such times.  All is wet, rainy, under water.  What if you are in a wheel chair or just sick?  Rough times.  I still blame Bush.  And Lyndon Johnson.

The Same Common Sense Folks...

...who gave us common sense no-knock SWAT raids, often killing innocent or ill people, getting the wrong address, maiming babies with flash bang grenades, etc., are the same ones we expect to successfully deal with common sense gun control?  These lunatics are the ones who are to decide who is a threat?  That is the trouble.

Sooner than later, whoever philosophically disagrees with those in power will be labeled as mentally ill, and domestic terrorists.  Already those who think man can control the cycles of climate suggest jailing those who publicly claim otherwise.

That is why I am skeptical when I here demagoguery like Obama's half truth riddled speech, and others clamoring for more laws.  All the facts have yet to surface. We do know that unprotected, and disarmed places have more butchery by madmen.  When governments do it, it is OK.  When lone lunatics ruin the lives of others it is a call for more power to be given to government.  I am not of that school.

But I am not of any school, today.  Except I am not of the school who uses the word "folks" very much.  I did here to mimic the president in his folksy overuse of the word.

Band Wagons and Whatnot

Everyone is hopping on half baked crusades regarding guns.  It is a macabre thing that generates these reactions.  But the reactions are invariably full of half truths and emotional outburst more than anything useful.  All the usual "we need to...".  I rarely find myself comfortable in those "we" statements.

For one thing, I wasn't involved in the events which bring on all the madness.  And I certainly wasn't involved in making the laws regulating the people and places involved.  So maybe "you" need to seek common sense or rethink the restrictions and such. I don't.  And I don't often come down on the side of regulation if it is at all avoidable.  Simply because I do not have much faith in those who enforce laws, or create them, when it comes to reason and honor.

Enforcement culture is as far from a "common sense approach"  as it gets.  In about every area.  Or it can be.  Depends upon who is wearing the official gun at the time.

We can expect a rash of feel good, depending upon your predetermined viewpoint, slogans pasted over famous people's likenesses, even though they most likely never said what is being tacitly credited to them.  I saw one with Morgan Freeman and it said something comparing two unrelated events to demonstrate the duplicitous nature of how people view things in this country vs others.

I do not think Morgan had anything to do with that bit of propaganda.  No matter.  When it was pointed out that some woman's over the top essay encouraging "us" to "DO SOMETHING!!!" contained several false statements, wrong figures, blatant lies,  one supporter tried to equate the false statements with misplaced commas and such.  Admitting the lies but then saying it was being picky to be skeptical of the conclusion merely because the facts used to support it were false.

You can't reason in that environment.  I offer no answers or anything.  I will say that propaganda can be annoying.  They all use the term "common sense" in pushing gun laws.  That is lame.  99.9% of the people using that phrase only use it because that is what all their talking points say.

And it goes on.  There are stats regarding Honduras vs the US based on false premise.  Like so many things, sense of any kind seems lost.  I see places where fires have jumped highways and it would not hurt much to broaden the firebreak a bit to hamper the next one without totally ruining things.  No. Lets just let the dry weeds run up to the edge of the rd and hope the slightest spark doesn't touch it because that is all it will take.  We will worry most of the year, every year, because we can't do anything man made to protect mankind because we are bad and not natural.

Hell with it.  Just trying to write something other than health news or articulated fear and mental paralysis.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Nothing to do With Me

Guns and demagogues and how to prevent bad things and how to exploit bad things have little to do with my immediate life.

I think it useful to not indulge what is consuming me emotionally.

I should be thrilled that the newly found chiropractor in Alpine is a Palmer grad, and that he has drastically reduced the pain that had been a nuisance for a month or so.   I think it has been going on for even longer and I just forget time frames.

Sacroiliac sounds like a made up part.  Just a word to further a scam.  Apparently not.  I have found myself experiencing problematic pains a few times in my life.  It is the type of thing that only a good chiropractor has been able to relieve.   That was my main worry when I left Miami, along with the fact I'd found a decent hair cutter.  

As rare as it is when I have back or neck issues which fall under chiropractic purview, it is nice to know one is near.  I remember barely being able to get in the car a drive to his office.  My brother's brother in law.  And his father before him.  Those two worked magic.  People who knew the dad and know the son's work will attest to it.   The Alpine guy is good but he's not them.  Still, the job will get done.

When asked how to select a chiropractor in distant cities, my Miami in law relative said just check fro Palmer grads.  Finally after a decade or so, I did just that.  The only time I have been to anyone but a member of that remarkable family in Miami.  Oh wait.  I did talk a guy in Inverness into doing something to relieve back pain when I had to pick up a car there and drive it down on Christmas eve. Then I got real help.

This is the only chiropractor in Alpine, as far as I know.  He is not hurting for business, that is for sure.  And he doesn't charge as much as the Inverness, FL chiropractors did in 2004.   I went from one to the other there to find one that would just give some adjustment and not demand X-Rays and a bunch of stuff that would require coming back next week, etc.  Finally that one guy understood and helped.  He also talked to my Miami friend on the phone which helped.

I think it must be the Palmer way to minimize bureaucracy and actually do you some good. 

It must be a nice life when you benefit people on a regular basis.  I honestly do not do much good any more.  Not often anyway.  And, as is probably common, when I think I will change and fix this mess I feel too exhausted.  I bet that is just another big lie my mind is working with.  Damn it.  If I had stayed married and done all that would have entailed, things would be so much different and so much more sane.  So tire of looking in the mirror only to see a total idiot and fool looking back.  

But, I only look in the mirror when absolutely necessary and only to ensure I don't go out with stuff hanging out of my nose and such.  You can go for specifics without really looking at the person in the reflection. I'm expert.  

Not Obligated to Seek Some Sort of Meaningless Solution

This is same subject matter as last one but will be shorter and more to some point or other.

Seriously, how can the same people who claim movie violence and video games have no influence on violent behavior suggest that a shooting in a place where all guns are banned would have been prevented by more laws and tighter gun control?  

The solution is always to emasculate society--not to raise feminist ire here.  It is an expression that means to render powerless.  Until recently we saw power in terms of masculine virility and such. Not my idea. Just the messenger.

Anyway, by the present logic they will eventually find it best to cut off our arms and legs except for those who get permission from on high to possess these deadly limbs.

The trend for way too long has been to look at every insane act or even just accidents as something that justifies reducing people to begging victims, hoping the big grand power of government will save them from the imminent rape, murder, beating, etc.  To "take the law into their own hands" would just be wrong.  Leave it to the professionals; the ones who can legally carry a gun and legally shoot you for almost any reason.

Well, that last is a stretch, but not much of one in reality.  I just don't want to fuel the new victim twist of thought which has thugs and other idiots deciding that it is OK to shoot police because Al Eric, and Barack have more or less claimed you are justified.  Even though "hands up, don't shoot" never ever even almost happened.  Total fiction.  Just how it is.

So, they play up the mass murders in a way that attracts people to do it.  And they, of course, deny any influence.  But that is clearly wrong.  How do you think drugs spread so quickly?  News and schools hammered us about it when very few kids even knew what pot or any of that was.  The cops who came to talk, and the administrators and teachers involved were already so highly annoying to many people that their credibility was nil.

If they said it was so bad, and we hadn't seriously considered it up until then, maybe it was worth trying.  Those people were dedicated statists who were full of lies and were highly unjust.  So they sold a lot of people on the efficacy of drugs and alcohol.  

Had there been less sensationalism and less hysterical legal reaction, I doubt things would have gone as they have.  The first I heard of crack cocaine was in a news article which described how to make it.  Brilliant.  It was a guy who did and sold coke who showed me the article.  Up until then, he didn't know how it was made or much anything about it.

So first they promote by guaranteeing murderers that they will be famous and that millions will be frightened or otherwise affected by them.  Then they create the image of the dark mind, the loner persona, a disturbed person whose past can "give us insight into the killer's mind".

Who doesn't want to be so important that who shows are devoted to your inner mind and what makes you tick.?  Annoying cliche--"what makes him tick?'.  Ask clock boy--another bandwagon bunch of garbage that Obama embraced much too quickly.  Did he inspect the hoax clock to know it wasn't purposely designed to cause panic?  Like all sensational stories and cases in distant cities, he knee jerked his way into taking a side without knowing anything accept it served to help him manipulate opinion.

What a jerk.  Really.  And now to make it like the only people who care about murder are those who seek "common sense gun control", which is absolutely meaningless.  Remove guns from all government people based on my view of their suitability to possess a firearm.  I trust my judgement more than theirs.  I absolutely do not trust their motives whereas I do my own.  And that is why I oppose the idea that more laws will save the day.

We disarm our own military on military bases.  I'm sorry. WTF?  How does that make sense?  We don't disarm the body guards of the monied elite or of government officials.  But the rest of us can only hope that attention seeking lunatics will follow the law.  Really.

I have rarely seen a president disgust me more in reacting to an act of terrorism and sadistic cowardice.

Recent Events Prove that you needn't be smart to be rich, or be president

I was falling asleep while writing this, dozing off.  I am not sure a lot of it even makes sense.  I will leave it as a curiosity.

Not saying the president isn't smart.  Everyone says he's "off the charts", but actual numbers are sealed.  Where I work, the lack of correlation between money, power and intelligence is demonstrated regularly.

c The brilliance of "common sense" controls on the right to self defense, which is the underlying point of second amendment, is pretty much rooted outside reality, and inside the power elite.   If more laws against guns and how they are bought would prevent lunatics from finding ways to get them, or deter them because they don't want to violate a regulation, then why not just outlaw murder?

Oh wait a minute.  It is already illegal to have firearms on that campus of the latest man made disaster.  Workplace violence will perhaps be the label.  Even security could not have weapons on campus.  So, it was already a zone of extreme gun control and regulation.  Possibly to the detriment of innocent victims.

I am pretty sure murder is illegal, even if there is no way to further the cause of diversity or solidarinosc of some kind.

The truth is that promoting it in the press will not help, and that is exactly what has been happening.  If I want to express my anti-social homicidal maniac side, all this glamour and attention is hard to resist.  And it is easy to do in gun-free zones, especially schools.  Why?  Because they are run by nitwits, possibly highly intelligent, but nitwits when it really comes down to it.  And it is like shooting fish in a barrel.

So if we just forbid people from owning guns, except government people and those who can afford to find a way to buy in, no one will get shot.  None of this would happen if only common sense laws pertaining to home basketball had been enacted.  The dummies who oppose a totalitarian state, which grants rights as privileges which citizens must earn,  obviously don't care, and probably pay mass shooters to do mass murder.

I'm sure some stern signage indicating that the campus is a no-kill zone, and that there is plenty of money to be had, if where it goes  disaooeared

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