I don't admire every cliff out west while feeling a strong desire to jump off anymore, but I wouldn't tempt fate and compulsive self destruction just yet. It sucks, but I'm one of those idiots who is too likely to do something stupid.
As it is, I just go on as always while leaving plans of going down in a shootout with the neo bolsheviks after they declare martial law to others. I'll devise clever traps and schemes. That doesn't require keeping stuff around that might target me in one misguided nano second.
I actually like life. Not everyone likes anyone. I just happen to be one of those people who doesn't like me all that much. Good thing I don't know but a handful of like-minded acquaintances. Otherwise I might have helped them form a lynch mob or something, then I'd have regretted it; which is what I don't like about myself to begin with. Why do things you'll regret later? Idiot!!
Even so, I tend to trust John Q Public or myself with firearms more than I trust most armed government agents, like DEA, police, and many others.
Shrinks would love this