Monday, April 23, 2012

Fate and Fortune part 4 22 12

Different forms of good fortune have come my way lately.  Some of it, I had been advised to expect, but I did not consider it a sure thing.  It took a little while to put it out of my mind and not dream up stupid ways to depend upon vague expectation.  Or even probable expectation.

I have a friend who was expecting part of the family inheritance and all appeared done and good.  All it took was one psychopathic sibling, an unethical, and unscrupulous attorney, and a lengthy lawsuit in a venue many miles away.

Now my friend is worse off than he would have been had nothing ever been slated to come his way.  The legal system quite often becomes a lawyer's game of chess and results in anything but where truth and justice would lead.

The part that I think is most emotionally difficult is to plan on a thing, believe there is every reason to plan on it, and then have one's reality radically altered, dissolving your dreams in an instant.  It is tough to readjust, and accept reality, let go of the pain, anger and disappointment that type of loss brings.

When there was no point to the things that caused the dream to be smashed, it can stick with you and remain a tender spot indefinitely.   That tends to make moving on from there, seeing another way,  generally learning to seek happiness, a difficult, if not impossible task.  There are people who do it, and people who don't.  Anger is often not your friend. It can trap.

Even when the anticipated good fortune is not squelched by stupid things like corrupt people, and such evils, it is a shock when it doesn't materialize.  Disappointing, at least, and often in a way that requires some regrouping.

The trick is not to expect much, and try to refuse to believe that job is yours until it is in hand, that money until you see it, etc.

So, one thing came through that I'd managed to put out of my mind altogether, so it was a treat and almost a surprise.  Another thing came up that is merely a promise of something, and as much as I'd love for it to be true, I think the skeptic's approach is the healthiest.  I'll believe it when I see it.

I found myself thinking as if that thing had come true, and how I could then not be doing things I no longer enjoy, and how I'd have some sort of passion or enjoyment with this.  It is related to getting paid and I guess a form of work.

But, I see nothing today, and I am going to forget about the big talk and promise.  No need to discount anything.  I'm certainly open to opportunity.  But it may be best not to hold my breath until it materializes into something I can spend.



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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day

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