Saturday, July 10, 2010

Hearting Iota of a Cracker

Some people hate crackers. Every iota of a cracker, as a matter of fact. If everyone felt that way, those little elves that make them would be out of work. Is it Keebler that hires them?

I like crackers. And elves. All kinds of crackers; the round brown ones, wheat, ever popular and controversial soda cracker, those fancy ones that better hosts than myself put out when you come over. I'm not so fond of the ones with too much onion or whatever that is in them, which precludes me from saying I love every iota of a cracker, bar none.

Now, in my life I have loved every iota of some crackers, and savored their every flavor and substantive nuance. Mmm, mmm, those were some fine crackers.

Crackers are good for a lot of things, adding interest to salads and soups, providing a place to lay a slab of cheese or slather of peanut butter---lots of things. Those who hate every iota of a cracker perhaps suffer from an allergy, or maybe they are just the closed minded type who haven't really approached crackers with an open honest mind free of preconceptions. Perhaps it is a religious matter, or they never acquired the taste. I think for most people it is not one of those acquired taste items, they like crackers from day one.

Without crackers, I hate to think what the world would be like. Sure, there are some stale ones, and ones like I described with odd spices and flavors that ruin the whole experience. In the main, however, crackers just work for me. I like to get my mouth on them, lick the salty skin, and sort of tease those crevices before devouring them.

Graham crackers almost aren't even crackers but they are quite a treat sometimes. You can melt marshmallows on them and create all kinds of delectable desert/snacks. Cover them with melted chocolate--chocolate graham crackers, now that's a fine mix. The marshmallow works with that too. They are easy that way. Also they are fine just plain raw, right out of their

I'm no cracker fanatic, but I do believe they are sometimes quietly under rated. I like crackers. That's all their is to it. Fun to lick and fun to eat!

Not everyone feels as I do.
This man threatened gunplay when someone tried to bring crackers into his house.

"I hate every iota of a cracker!"

Just at the sight of them he launched into an angry tirade, threatening to kill the crackers.

There are foods I don't like, but I've never felt the need to kill such substances. I'm not sure how you know a dead cracker from a live one anyway. Perhaps one that has been demolished by gunshot would be considered a dead cracker.

His allergy must be severe. If not that, then I'd say he was overreacting just a bit.

It would be interesting to see his reaction to Cracker Jacks.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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