Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Don't Be Fooled, The Man Hates The Poor!!

Here's how the insurance thing works, at least in CA.   They have a program for people who pull in less than 17k per year.  Yippee!!! Free stuff!!

Yea, right.  You have no choices, and you have to do that routine of going in and then you have to have a referral, etc., as if you don't know when your eye falls out that you need an eye doctor.  I hate the whole HMO concept.  I am old enough to remember life prior to all that.

OK, so if you make more than 17,235.00, then for a little over 100 bucks per month you can get insurance that lets you decide when to go where, and more people take it.  Real doctors.

I've been doing pay as I go but will likely incur big expense so I am letting you pay for it.  Thanks.  The thing is, had I decided I'm poorer than 17k per year, the free route would still be looking for an allergy while I bleed out internally and clot up and die die die, you poverty stricken fool!

Alright, I got carried away.  Seriously though.  It is easily the difference between life and death while the poor person is caught in red tape and dimwittery. And the semi-poor person has a fighting chance at getting to the problem.

Once again, people think they are being looked after by their lovely government, and charlatans and shills like Obama, et al, when in reality they've been duped and offered a fake bribe for the votes.

So, those who think the whole trouble with life is the entitlement programs and that those people are living large on welfare and free stuff, be not alarmed.  Many of those poor suckers may die off in the system if they have bone cancer or confusing ailments causing internal oddity.

So, smart poor people lie about their income so they can pay a little and have some choices.  You spend more than that in cigarettes, if you smoke.   I don't smoke any more, so I can afford this.  And right now I am hoping it will work out OK.

But it is really bizarre how the whole thing is arranged.  I find it hard to believe the euopean systems are better. Maybe you get something, but they have wait times that could land you six feet under.  Unless you choose cremation, which is my preference.  But I better be really dead or I'll really go on a rant.

Oh, and had I not had some interaction with the lovely L a few years ago, I'd not have known how to best handle this.  I originally just dealt with the insurance lady at the po folk clinic, and she would have steered me into being legal, as far as pursuing some insurance, but she was leading me the wrong way.  Good thing I called L.

So don't be so sure all the navigators and helpers they promote know anything, or that they won't unintentionally kill you.

I tell you, these overly paternalistic and maternalistic government types do not love you.  They hate you and will smile maternally while you perish.  And they'll pat themselves on the back and feel good thinking they did you a favor.  Collectivists are impossible when it comes to reasoning and respecting your natural rights and liberty.  Very pushy/.  Buy or die insurance.



Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Another Trap of False Dichotomy

Us vs Them.  That formula is a money maker, and those in power know it.  Al Sharpton knows it. Anyone who capitalizes on victimhood knows it.

Police departments have come to operate that way, and have for more years than I've been alive. They almost have to.

So, when you have events like the Ferguson fiasco, it is easy to get people all worked up and choosing a side, even though they know nothing of the facts, or very little.

We learned that facts don't matter from our own President.  He's weighed in on events thousands of miles from his crib, while the investigations were barely getting started, with almost no information at all.

It didn't matter, his non-existent son, whom he forbids from playing football, looks just like Trayvon, and his other son looks like Michael Brown.   But don't despair, Obama has said he doesn't like bullies, so all bases are covered.  He likes Rahmbo though, so go figure. I'm referring to the Chicago mayor and one time White House big shot.

All bases covered.  Big O dislikes bullies, but likes bullies after they get themselves shot.

So, anyone who ever set foot in "da hood" for even a minute knows damn well that racism and bullying rule the streets.  Just be white and wander around Memphis and find yourself in the wrong neighborhood.

Easy to do, because it isn't like one side of the street is all nice and pretty and reserved for white privilege, while the other is trashed and regularly shelled by police and white privileged arms enthusiasts.  But they don't know that because Al and Jesse say otherwise and it feels good to be self righteously enraged.

You can be black and wander the streets pretty much unmolested if you aren't an obvious violent jerk.  Even then you usually get your way. But we are to pretend otherwise.  I'm shocked that people actually believe their own denial to that extent.

For whatever reason, the least egregious shootings get national attention, and the only part that matters is race.  In Trayvon's case they had to invent a race--white hispanic, even though Zimmo was also part black.

By the way, what is being pushed as black culture is nothing but ignorant redneck culture.   Same as the early riffraff portion of England and europe who landed on our shores prior to the Revolution.  We had total amoral morons then, too.  We just didn't celebrate it so much like now.

Alright, what this leads to is people who are more than happy to ply their bullying and property trashing skills in the name of race and victimhood.  Al Sharpton's useful idiots--and I feel I've over-rated them by calling them idiots---pretty much hold communities hostage during these controversies
They try to blackmail their way into influencing court decisions and all else.  "Do it our way or we trash the place.".

It's become so ridiculous that mobs impeding the travel of innocent people, blocking traffic and harassing people going to work, are called "peaceful protestors" because they didn't shoot anyone.  Blocking traffic is not peaceful.

Maybe my little girl has really got to go and if you got out of the road she'd make it in time.  Maybe I'm about to die and need to get to the hospital.  You are not peaceful, and I have no idea at this point what it is your are protesting.  You probably just like the party and the chance to loot or get on TV.  Dicklets.

Then you have the police who think the public exists by permission, not right, due to the nature of the screwy laws, and the methods they've developed for enforcement.  "Sting" operations are mostly entrapment and total BS.  No knock search and seizure operations are nothing but pure government bullying and tyranny.

I've seen plenty enough of the smirky punk cop.   I understand there is some need, but I thank God I have no son, because if I did and he became a cop, I'd be highly upset.  Or daughter.  I know that is possibly wrong of me, but so far that is my view.

People want to take absolute sides here.  Oh the police are such selfless givers, risking their lives blablabla.  It is a job and they chose it; for reasons upon which I won't speculate. And they get a by every time they do harm legally because they are "just doing their job".    Nothing I love more than a lethal machine with no conscience, just the will to obey orders to screw with people.

And they have to deal with punks, on top of enforce laws that a truly moral person would refuse to enforce.  And in ways no one with any empathy would do.

It comes down to the laws and how they are enforced.  Also the limits put upon citizens as far as defending themselves and their property.  Had that store owner tased that bully, Mike Brown, or shot him in the leg with a .22, he'd be in jail.  Yet, I think it would have been OK.

I would be careful just overdoing the police monitoring thing.  Or believing they are the sole culprits in these high profile nutjob cases. I'm skeptical about this body cam routine.  And at the same time I am not buying the bit about blacks being victims here.  The facts and statistics do not support that.

The biggest epidemic of violence is black on everyone violence.  I know it and so do you.  But we must pretend, to avoid being called racist or who knows what.

Knock half the laws off the books.  Revamp the whole setup which encourages prosecutors to lie, cheat and steal to further their careers by ruining people.  Quit pretending that violent punks are disgruntled youth "with something to say".

Look for the corruption in government which has to be protecting gangs, or they wouldn't be thriving.  Again, abolishing a lot of laws would ruin their commerce.

And forget the whole hate crimes routine.  That is only paraded out when it is a crime (sometimes not even a crime, but self defense) by white people. It is hardly done otherwise even when race is an obvious factor.  But we're supposed to pretend, again.

How many violent crimes are not hateful?  Who cares about the why of it.  Or the race.  Hit me with a hammer and I am pretty sure your view of my race or sexual preference will have no influence on how it feels to me. That is the dumbest thing ever.

I've heard guilty white people try to make sense of the hate crime thing, but I sensed they were covering up their own racist inner being.  I really felt that.  Those who have the least respect for people due to race often make the biggest nonsensical overtures.  Another bit of human nature that Al Sharpton is a master at exploiting.

You know, maybe Al is a genius of sorts.  He's terrible with the english language and he's a major league creep and criminal, but damned if he hasn't got his finger on the pulse of guilty white people. Especially the kind who are secretly racist in ultra liberal circles; those people who fawn over any black person that happens to cross their social circles.

I hope he takes them all to the cleaners.  Snobby phony bastards.

And for God's sake let's hope the next attorney general is not a rabid racist power grabbing liar like Eric Holder.  He has had quite a hand in escalating racial tension and hatred, and promoting violence. People get killed.  Black people get killed, and their shops get burned or looted.

He does not care about them.  The divide is a way that some people further their power and wealth.  Ask Al and Jesse.

So, skip all the above.  The message is that the police suck and the looters and agitators masquerading as protestors are scum, not victims.
the end

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Disconnect and Festive Satire

This year, I did absolutely nothing for anyone for Christmas.  Not officially, anyway.  It hardly registered with the me that the season was upon us, and that I usually do something.  I just watched it float by.

The effect is that of a surreal satire of life; my life, anyway.  And I realize I must be about to make some sort of course alteration, again.  Or, maybe for only the second time, when it comes down to it.

I'm getting a little impatient with the status quo. Bored, maybe.  No excuse for boredom like that.  If you're bored, do something different.  Do something.  And that is where the pre-action agitation kicks in.  Part of the process.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Oh yea, I'm Not Giving Up

These days, I not only do not know what is normal, I don't even know if my data is within one standard deviation of normal.   I could represent the mean value of everything and I wouldn't know.

Maybe it is normal to think, "oh this feels off, that feels bad or broken, I'm falling apart, etc.", then stop and try to think about what is OK, what is working, the assets column.   In order to do this, I have to remember, or remind myself that I have not yet given up, and that I decided to outstay my welcome here in this world, if I can.

I'll forget I decided against giving up.  That must indicate that my default setting is fatalistic.  I'm trying to change that to optimistically wearing out my welcome.  This is not that easy to do I guess, but adrenaline, and the challenges involved here must have steered me in this direction.

The fine art of discerning one's choices is really what is being touched upon.  I like choices, so anything that denies that power to me is going to be met with a little bit of rebellion.   Where the art comes in is in knowing when to try to work loopholes or influence outcome, and when to take a specific item as a given, and then work around it, like a giant bolder in the road.

Another weird holiday.  The weirdest ever I think, but that does not mean bad.

Lots of nice friends around here were getting together with family or to play music.  I was at no loss of anywhere to be.  But it comes back to my isolationist hovel which never entertains company.  I've started to make various attempts to find a suitable partner.  But if she drinks, she is usually not happy that I don't.  Couple that with the non-carnivore routine, and now, no smoking, and other eccentricities, and I've just about knocked myself totally out of the running...for anything.

Not like the old days when women thought they'd eventually train me, so they'd pretend not to eat meat, and things like that.  Back then they thought I would like them better.  I only figured out in retrospect that they were trying to please me and I had little clue of this.  I could care less what people eat, except I sometimes can't stand the smell of fish cooking.

Now, I'm not sure.  I've had it with alcoholics and functional, near-drunks.  I use the term "functional" in the loosest sense.  To me any sort of responsibility or survival success is impressive.

I watched a Damon Wayons movie with K last night.  She said we had to do that.  It was not a bad fluff movie. And I kind of liked it, even though it was about cops.  They were fake cops.  I should say, one of my all time least favorite shows ever is Cops.   Several reasons for that which I do not want to elaborate upon right now.

I will say I find it troubling that so many people get pleasure from watching the state forcibly restrain and cage people who are usually doing nothing violent or forceful themselves.  It may be a drug thing or some other hoax.  The show conditions people to expect, and fear the superior power of the state. It teaches them to be obedient.

People take being restrained with hands cuffed behind your back rather lightly.  At least those who find gazing on such scenes a spectator sport.  Imagine having your hands tied behind your back and you are nervous, and maybe ache or itch, have to use the bathroom, all that.  It is a real physical hardship at that point.  Confinement of any kind is horrific, I think.

Lack of choice and lack of mobility.  Those are the key goals, it seems, of collective minded tyrants.  It tends to come down to that over and over.  Threats to mobility, and elimination of choices---even in what they allow you to think.  I guess 'they' is the state.  There are influential people who seem to think there is no corruption in government, and that it is OK to screw people in the name of the greater good; as defined by them of course.

I feel lucky that I am not some raving angry lunatic in the inner city, acting out of half truths, ignorance, low self esteem, and pure hatred.  The shallowness of gang life, and that type of culture, is tragic.  And it is shallow.   If it weren't, people would probably not shoot one another at such an alarming rate.  Odd how reporting skews one's perspective causing proportions to appear completely different from what they are.

Not being able to relate to people who are hate-driven, and who shoot one another, is a good indication that I'm further out of the loop than I thought.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Random Stuff

There are so many things I think I want to get written down, but by the time I get to the keyboard, I am at a loss.  I forget what I was thinking.

Usually it comes to me while driving.  I'll write entire articles on some pressing topic in my life, then I forget it, but I know it was a gem.

So, lately, I forgot, or was sick or whatever.   The result is Christmas has pretty much gone by without my notice.  Nothing sent out to anyone.

Those in the know realize that when I have some wealth, I splurge.  When I am in doubt concerning resources, I do nothing.  This time I was concerned about medical costs, Obama buy or die insurance, and the like.  Also I need timing belt and more for my car, if I know what's good for me.  Can't let it go much longer.

Anyone that matters will get over it.  I hope.

Several gigs with the band coming up.  I hope I can keep pace.  Right now I need about a month to settle down, rest, deal with betrayal and skullduggery at work, and generally move toward fixing what ails me and making it all be OK.

I've been a little bit aloof when it comes to wimmin because of a few things. One of which is the uncertainty regarding how I am doing in the realm of blood and bone marrow and etc.  If it is really a big deal, I can't knowingly pull someone into my world.  And since I'm not sure, I can't chance it.  That would be stupid and impolite.  Although there are times I would have gladly spent time with certain people even if they were terminal and due to check out at any time.  That's confusing.

Geez, for sudafed you have to sign things and show ID.  Not sure what people do with it, and doubt that punishing normal people with colds is the best approach.  Lovers of state authority as the answer to all do not see my point and understand my misgivings regarding such matters.  I suspect they are reincarnated slave owners from Africa or Aztec times or ancient Rome.   Who else would be so confused regarding rights and liberties?

Off the subject, but of note is the fact that I have met more truly stellar couples--in very functional marriages---since moving here, than I recall knowing back east.  K and M are particularly good examples of how a guy treats a woman if he wants a wonderful life.  They should conduct a seminar or build a school.

Troubadour, magazine I guess, is having their annual party tonight.  It is a musicians' thing.  We may play a couple of tunes.  I've been trying to shake a cold so I can make it.  I think I'm well enough.  I'll get some ultra potent cough suppressant if such a thing exists.

Not at all pleased with the maneuvering at work by someone I thought was a friend.  Her whole family is now somehow in on the act.  Dysfunction and backstabbing.  I will try to thwart this effort to usurp my job.  The old manager is gone.  She knew I was the one to trust.  The new guy has one foot still in Chicago.  I'm stunned with how this crew has formed, and the power play being attempted.  Either he'll see it or not.

First rule of if someone else can fire you, no matter what co-workers do, if you bring up the complaint, you lose.  Never fails, or rarely fails.  Have to let the jefe bring it up.   My situation is that these rats could all claim I'm the ogre of the land, and it is multiple words against me. Never mind that they are all related and want my job for Deb, the butch ass construction broad, whose son is married to the housekeeper's son, and they are all there.

Greedy people do this sort of thing, and since they think they are always victims they don't care about right or wrong.

If there is a God of any sort, perhaps he/she/it is on my side.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Is the Reaction the Culprit?

Lately I wonder if I am inventing all the physical things, or stressing in reaction, thereby causing the condition.  It may make no sense.

My only real goals are to finally make my house clean, civilized and not a nightmare, and to get a new timing belt on the car, and clean it up like the house.  That's it.

That would eliminate most of the stress.  Then I wouldn't be that worried with lines like "often doesn't kill you right away".  Like someone recently said, I need to get my head out of the sand.  People who have colds should take measures, when out, to avoid infecting others.  Some people just don't care.

This is poor timing in my case.  Usually I can fight off anything quickly.  Right now the defense system may be a little less formidable than usual.

Now we have a new manager at work.  The nature of things is such that no one knows much.  But it has created an opportunity for some very greedy creepy family members of the housekeeper, who is supposedly my friend, to try to undermine me and take my job.  I'm not on my game lately, but I have a feeling that even off my game I might be seen as worth more than these ne'er do wells.  But I cannot guarantee it.

It sucks.  Being betrayed by people who were supposed to be my friend is nothing new.  I'm not sure how I manage to set up such circumstances time and time again.

One toxic family; the mother, who is the actual housekeeper, and the rest are supposed to occasionally help, but they are always there; the son, his husband, and his husband's mother.  Plus one other lady who is probably not part of the set up shenanigans.  She is not there very much since the old manager's last day.  The new guy is moving from Chicago.

And he's still involved in Chicago's main office. The place where I work is owned and run out of Chicago.

Anyway, it is bizarre when people pull this and when someone could stand up for you, or turn a blind eye in a cowardly attempt to avoid upsetting the toxic family apple cart.  I'm not up to it.

I think when I get things better defined and sorted, I will be able to get energy back and such.  I'll direct my own treatment etc.  We'll see if this insurance actually works.  I just have my doubts.

Either way, I think I could get the essential diagnostics done.  Any knife work or real good drug may get expensive.   First the mutant test.  They are pretty sure I'm a mutant.  If this proves true, I may get a sweatshirt that says "Certified Mutant".

Big music magazine party on Sunday night.  I think we may end up playing a song or two.  I have to hope I can be in shape to do it.  I will be.  When I want to, I get things done.  I'm good at that in a strange way.  I've been letting that talent go dormant, but now I am suddenly looking at things differently.  So, I've been getting things done.

People who complain about being victims, being judged, and ill treated often turn out to be the nastiest, greediest, most dishonest bastards, with no shred of compassion, humanity or decency.  That is the big danger of the victim mentality; it excuses immoral abuse of others.

People who know they have colds should take measures  slowly
progressive neoplasm
of unknown etiology involving all cell series of the bone marrow, it is inevitably
fatal after a varying period of t 

Monday, December 15, 2014

ObablablaInsurance etc.

So, I've been doing pay as I go, and the medicos I encounter know this.  They've cut me some breaks yet have put off possibly time sensitive investigations due to the possible escalation of expense.  Probable cause and treatment for the condition of being me is somewhat narrowed down at this point.

Here's the deal; after investigating the life affecting annoyances of "intractable itching" attacks, and the inner, outer, emotional, physical, spiritual characteristics attendant to this malady, I decided it is worth pursuing treatment.  I don't think an actual cure exists.  However, in my case, things could be OK, just "managed".  "Managed" is a word that means prohibitively expensive.  Hence this whole healthcare insurance scam and bamboozle.

We went from flim flammed to bamboozled.  People seemed to think bamboozle would be an improvement.  OK.  Whatever.

I'm shamefully going to let the people of California take on my burdens.  Why would I do that?  Because they insist.  Do or die.  Buy or die.  We're here to help.  Play along or be punished.

I gave up.  Sort of.

Two reasons as near as I can tell.  One: I am no longer thinking an early exit is the best thing and inevitable.  I think life is worth it even when it isn't--to a point.

And, secondly, I always found Don Quixote a profoundly depressing character and idea.  Fighting it is like US senators wringing hands and apologizing to the truly brutal segment of the world because they put prisoners through what they put many special forces, and all fighter pilots through in the course of training--waterboarding etc.  It is just a way of asking, begging, for trouble.  It is masochistic and self defeating.

Besides, my house has to get cleaned up before I can entertain any maladies of a debilitating nature.  It will be easier to deal with blood and guts and glory than this mass of clutter.

Oh yay!  Just got a call back from Insurance Lady, a friend from a few years back.  It never quite got anywhere for various reasons beyond anyone's control.   The good news is that no one is as on top of this Bama shite as she is.  And the Californicated system.  Turns out I needed to make a little more money, rather than less, in order to qualify for the plan I am needing.  So, my estimate was reconsidered and low and behold, I believe I'll make about 3k more than originally thought.

The state lady did not let me know about that.  So, I even paid my 125.00 so if they take my money they better provide.  And starting first week in January I hope to get this thing rolling.  Obviously that's a price which includes you wonderful other people bailing my under achieving ass out.   Thank you.  It wasn't my idea.

I'm so sure I think I know what ails me that I am curious to see if it gets proved.  I'm a great trouble shooter.

We have tons of gigs or "showcases" coming up.  Showcases mean you are in with the people who get stuff done.  Those people got us the House of Blues gig.

I hope I get something mailed out for Christmas.  In any case, the fortunate things coming my way in this medical thing through friends and others is amazing.  All top notch people.  I was even the subject of a special case study and that was like thousands of dollars of exams for free.  I'm a little miffed that no one played with my junk.  Geez.
Long story short;  oh no, I forgot!  Oh that's right, I am not an insurance outlaw.  I probably can make it through most roadblocks, if I try.  

I'd go into why people are messing up, but it would not be worth it.

This lady (singer) I'm backing up, is landing little gigs all over the place.  I feel like a slacker, although it was my friend whose friend got us our last gig, at the Stadium Club.  I think it was a success.  Bars are strange if you don't hang out in them much.  People always seem a little thick and like they are your best pal right now, but in the blink of an eye they could switch to hostile.

It's not a drinking band.  I have never seen being drunk improve musicianship.  Some claim to have witnessed such a thing.  I never have.


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Friggin' Hoodinias

For whatever morbid reasons, I was pondering the virtues of "the ones that got away".  Granted they are in a better place; and I'm not saying this in the funereal sense.   That aspect of life is merely the benefit one receives when she graduates from my finishing school for wayward women.  They all go on to do great things, achieve happiness, and confidently exercise more of their potential than they thought possible prior to encountering me.

Of curse, much of the progress described above occurs after, and only after, graduation.  It's almost uncanny, though, just how well it works.

I'm not sure which has done the best in the overall balance of things---possibly the girl with the dragon tattoo.  Possibly the one who was not that one, or the other one that was not either of those.

They all know who they are, so no need to freak out just because you are who you are and I claim credit for your good fortune.  Some little bit of credit, not all, however you probably would not have done as well without me, except for one of you. You would have done fine,  maybe.

On second thought, no, you wouldn't.  That you doesn't even know of this blog, to my knowledge.

Here's how I feel about the graduates from the Ballistic Charm Academy;  I love them, but I also hate them because they are live demonstrations of what a dumbass I am and have always been.   So, sometimes I think, "Yay for her.  How nice that she's thriving."  And sometimes I think, "Grrrr.  Get thee out of my sight!!  Let's be strangers so I can pretend I am not stupid, and that I don't know you".

When it comes down to it, I think it is all for the best.  If they graduated to do worse, that would really suck.  So, in conclusion, never mind...

One thing all have in common--by hook or crook they escaped.  Like Houdini

Monday, December 1, 2014

Too Tired, But It Keeps me Going, for now

So, now we are playing House of Blues in March.  The 10th I believe.  I'm so mind weary, and maybe physically toasted that I have trouble keeping track of what I'm doing, but I fake it well.

Provided that I am not too much more tired by March, House of B ought to be an interesting experience.  They have maybe 400 stages or so, and different times.  I forget when we play but it was designed to be a good fit, time and people-wise.

This weekend and next we have real gigs, too.  I'm hoping to get a little more steam going here.  I hide out except for essential commitments because I may be less intact than I'd like.
You would not believe the entire behind-the-scenes story, and I have no wish to lay it out.

It'll be OK.  Nothing else to think or say about it.  I really wish I believed in a simple God who was a parent I could con, and that I'd go to the best of resorts when time expires.  I have difficulty with that. I do not have difficulty believing there is much more to life than meets the eye and that it is not an accident.  But I don't know what I can really accept beyond that.

The pain and pleasure see saw that some faiths promote makes no sense.  Let's say you have seven children.  Six are real trouble makers, so you beat the hell out of the one good kid, the innocent one, to make up for the crimes of the others.  How does that possibly help, and what kind of jerk are oy, in that case?

No, I buy many things, but that is the central aspect of things I can not believe.  I think the Church lied for their own gain.  Earliest followers were not on that bus.  They had little offshoot movements. The blood and guts, illogical and psychopathic justice school won out.

And now I worry that I can't buy it.  We're here, then we aren't.  Are we don't think we are.  That's cold, and maybe just how it is.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

I'll be not Home For Christmas

That is because I do not know where my home is.  Even after all these years.  I will not be traveling to family events or any of that.  I'm sticking here, and will be around some people who know me better than anyone, and still seem to value my existence.  That's not always how it goes in life.

So this year is not like last year.  No smoking and wondering when the next road trip will occur.

On facebook, I showed a picture of someone else's turkey claiming I shot it, plucked it, stuffed and cooked it.  I said I then remembered I'm a vegetarian so I gave it to a couple living under a bridge.  Damn.  People thought it was all true and gave me kudos for my selfless concern for humanity and such.

It may be that my jokes miss the mark. Or it may be that people do not pay attention or comprehend multiple sentences.  Or both.

Do you really think someone who doesn't eat turkey would go to all that trouble, only to remember they don't eat turkey?

Monday, November 24, 2014

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself, and maybe some other stuff

The drawback to playing music, unless it is symphony or other situation with which I'm unfamiliar, is that you have to deal with lunatics who aren't always the fun kind of crazy.  And you deal with club owners, who are often quite seedy and creepy, dishonest, and unpleasant.  If you drink enough they seem like swell folks.  I don't drink so that stretch is one I can't make---from reality to thinking these creeps aren't creeps.

Obviously something set me off.  I like to play, so I put up with some nonsense in order to do so.  Mostly I like playing certain things with certain people.  

It is some consolation for sidestepping my true calling, which was broadcast in a language I didn't understand, so that explains it.  

The important thing is to hope to be of some positive value to good people.  Why be of use to bad people?  Net positive influence overall is the important thing.  To me, I think that is what counts.

No holiday travel this year.  Sometime soon I hope for a nice trip to somewhere. You never know when or if such adventures will be realized.

This looks like it will be a rather significant time.  It may be life altering.  Just how the cards fall.  That could be OK.  Or maybe nothing at all will change.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Out Loud; not brazen enough to call it thinking

Machines often goes south.  What breaks or wears out when and how is not usually a constant. It can be this or that.  And God does not just decide to be meaner to some machines than others, although I don't think he is fond of Jerry Lewis or Eric Holder.  Don't think it is a he or she, but that's neither here nor there.

I'm not sure of my outlook but I know views I don't embrace.  Most of them somehow seeded in the victim mentality.  I think my philosophy was best brought to the fore without even thinking about it, way back when Hurricane Andrew hit South Florida.

People were calling themselves hurricane victims.  I couldn't quite embrace that.  Mostly because of the attitude surrounding that.  Trees fall on people.  People get struck by lightening.  It's all physics at play.  Things doing what they do according to how things work.    This is where we live.  People think conflicting thoughts about that fact.

There are big movements with their driving idea being that the earth is the victim of the people.  Some of those same complainers think they are victims of nature because they fall apart or contract some physical malady.  Or they are victims of spring or the cold or the humidity, altitude, lack of humidity, etc.  Victims, no matter what.

I'm a victim of me.  I'm quite abusive if you get stuck living inside my mind and body.  In any case, I guess I always wait until the last minute to take care of business, in almost all situations.  Number one goal, get it all straightened out and simplified.  Organize and try to second guess the state.  CA is wacko if you are above board, on the grid, in the system.  There are times you have no choice but to have them all up your business.

You can give away the farm as long as you're alive.  But try to do upon your exit and they want to steal a big chunk of it.  People are so easily led or no way would they allow that.  They think they're sticking it to the rich.  Creepy, both from the standpoint of ignorance, and from the standpoint of greedy jealousy.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Sometimes I'd Rather Be A Mental Case

If it is all in your head, a result of a defective attitude or personality, you can change it if you really care to do that.  If it is not like that, then this may be about as good as it will ever be.

So, you tell yourself that at least you aren't crazy or making stuff up.  Then you say, "I wish I was a bigger liar than I am".  You may say "were" instead of was.  I'd probably go the 'were' route.  No idea why.

Nothing is carved in stone.  But it is becoming increasingly evident, or narrowed down.  Good time for an improved attitude.

My main anchor in most ways, at the moment, is playing music with my Blue Sky friends and Sande.
Get it while the gettin's good.  That could be fifty years, or maybe way fewer.

So, I may be seeking that parasail, and some guidance regarding how it works, sooner than later.

Almost a year with no cigarettes.  I'm losing the tendency to have frequent desires for one.  It smells nice to get just the first whiff of fresh cigarette smoke, but not that nice.  I like being free of that, and anything else I'm free of that would own me if it could.

In some ways, maybe these are simpler times.  All in how it is viewed and approached, I suppose.

What I don't know is a lot.  As is what I have yet to learn.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

My Court Would Be the One You Want

That is, if you had to go to court for something, and you weren't a cop or abusive authority, then my court would be the best one.  I say that because, without real proof, and without watching the trial, I refuse to say OJ was guilty.  I did not go to that circus or pay it much attention, except for OJ over-acting when making sure everyone could see the glove did not fit.

And I never even liked Bill Cosby.  One of the few who didn't.  I didn't think he was very funny.  But I refuse to make the assumption that he is guilty of these ancient accusations.  Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe he has a penchant for rubbing shoulders with crazy people. I do not know.

I do know that when a bandwagon of opinion starts rolling, and it is the stuff of Letterman's lame ass jokes, people pretend that their view is actually well founded when all they are doing is behaving as the media molds them into behaving.  Haha, everyone knows Cosby was raping tall women, so there. That takes him down, and makes me feel just that much bigger and more important.

I also know that in some worlds, some circles, one can piss off the wrong people, and very damaging PR can be arranged.  People can be ruined.  Often they manage to use government somehow.   And that reminds me, Obama weighs in on neighborhood squabbles with drunk Harvard pals in distant cities, shootings in distant cities, and he has no more facts than what we have with Cosby, so has he offered his omniscient viewpoint?

You would think, with all the advances in communication, that reporters and the public at large would make more effort to get all the facts before jumping to conclusions and behaving like the lynch mobs in old Hollywood Westerns.  Remember how stupid those people always were?   Now they're in Ferguson.  Lynch mob cowpoke rednecks turned gangsta in your face in the hood rednecks.  Dumbass knows no color.

And it is tough to point these things out, as in the case of Ferguson,  because I think the police mentality has become highly dangerous in this country, over all.  And I think the "authorities" generally handle things like thugs would.  So, like the old Spy vs Spy, it is Thugs Vs Thugs.

It's tough to defend that arrogant bigot to the point of admitting that neither I nor any other unconnected party knows very much regarding his guilt or innocence.  Unlike what some have said, I feel it is the validity of the charge, not the weight, which is of most importance.

But I am not so sure the cop coldly gunned down the poor lad who was beating him.   Then again, I know nothing of the case. I was not there.  I've only seen enough to convince me that most of the info, official or on the street, is highly suspect regarding veracity.

Changes nothing.  The protest is opportunistic bullshit from many directions.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Almost Missing Memphis

The highlight of my life, lately, has been playing with Sande and band.   She took a trip to Memphis for a week and wanted to play some while there.

As it turns out, she wanted to play at an open mic just blocks from my old abode.  It is also just a block or two from Steve, the snakedocs bass player.

Upon arrival she discovered that her guitar was in two pieces, with the head dangling by the strings.  United struck again.  No telling if it was the Memphis work force or not.  I'll take this opportunity to reiterate my educated viewpoint regarding the Memphis workforce, in general; worst, most dishonest, incompetent and lazy workforce I've ever seen.   Obviously, there are A team people no matter where you go.  In Memphis, they are just fewer, and their colleagues are sorrier than most, if not all, others.

So, I reach out to my old pal Steve to help out Sande.  He was able to loan her a guitar, and even have her play her stuff during his group's breaks.  It turns out they were playing down the street from the O.mic venue, an hour or two earlier, so she played their breaks, then hit the Cabana place and played.

It sounds like it worked out.  Steve was playing with a group other than the Snakedocs for this Cooper-Young deal, although the docs are still going and doing Beale once or twice a month.  It was good to hear I'm missed.

Speaking of missed; it was not the same here at all.  We played two days of Day of Dead here--almost 8 hours total.  Then she jets off to Purgatory (Memphis is, in fact, Purgatory).  The playing in the interim was interesting at times but felt off to me.

Finally, we had a practice, sans bass player, and it was a relief.  I'm pretty sure this is the thread that keeps me moving at the moment.  Every morning and day are spent avoiding this ...whatever the hell it is..physical troubles.  Isn't improving much overall.

I'll see what the test on the 20th yields and then decide if I ever go back or just deal with it however.  They can't cure much, so sometimes you have to decide if pursuing the prescribed official medical route is a waste or not.  Usually it is if it involves any trouble shooting.  Such a drag.  They play the God role to the hilt, even when they can't fix you.  That is the scam side of that industry. Their tendency to do that pretense of omniscience slows the progress of healing, but so be it.

One has to decide when the medicos are worth the money and when they are just going through motions with no clue.  I have a fair guess at how it will play.  It is worth having evidence and deciding myself what it means.  Rehab in this case will be a very difficult process which will require discipline and a desire to thrive.  Both those things are not commonly a part of me lately.

I wanted to be in Memphis to play with Sande, and then to go crash the next Snake doc gig on Beale. Little flights of fantasy.  The humidity would most likely leave me itchy and burning and all that.  Pretty sure that altitude and low humidity are my friend right now so I'll stick in Cali until it is impossible or I have outgrown this madness.  Then I'll probably go back east, or not.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Everything is Changing in a Hurry

The possible job I thought would open up and make me well financially is now off the table.  We don't know how that bodes for the future.  For now,  I'm OK.

Playing a lot with various musicians.  May have a gig on the USS Midway on the 11th.  Maybe.  Some things are just a little odd.  That is likely the way of life for young people back from battles with full tilt psychos in the mideast.  Some of us are backing a marine in "music therapy" who has started playing out places.  Writes some nice stuff. Hard for me to play on it though, so I'm not sure what to think.

We'll see if there is any worthwhile change in blood stuff in a couple of weeks.  I feel like something changed this year and I'll never be the same, whatever that was.   My life revolves around avoiding the annoyances of stupid physical things that hardly anyone else ever has.  So of course it must be anxiety, or nerves, or I'm crazy.  That is tiring. It is not those things at all.

It's just karma for being a bad human being or because life isn't fair or because things happen.  It is not personal.  I don't believe there is any big crime and punishment or test thing, or reason relating to God insisting I prove my love or any of that.  I think I'm making it up and even fooled myself.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

A Few seconds from last Sat Night

It is rare that I meet someone I like as much as this singer.  I'm about to believe in angels.   A positive influence on me, but like most such influences, not something that would ever cross that line.  Still there is an element of the supernatural at play here.

They Still Call

So, I emailed people, and mentioned on facebook that my phone was not working, so best to email me, and what happens?   They text and leave voice mail.

My phone has somewhat come back to life; enough to know I have texts or voice mail, but not enough to get at these things.

I think it may be a conspiracy, and they are all in on it.  Well, they can send me a letter if it is important.   Or maybe I'll give up and see if I get a replacement phone.
I want to go back to a time when one or two misguided moves, undone, would have changed my life.

Just a moment in time.

Can't do it.  All I can do is play some music with those who play stuff that I'm capable of enhancing, or whatever I do.  I should have been a physicist, or a pilot.  Believe me, most of the science world is so wrapped in very undeveloped, dysfunctional egos that possibilities are delayed decades as a matter of course.  And those ego bound creeps feel power in marrying up with the political world.

They get to be treated as mystics, seeing things mere mortals wouldn't understand, and politicians then pretend that they "have to DO something"  based upon the science and opinions of *gasp, bow, scrape*  SCIENTISTS!!  "Scientists say..."   Only those who really are, or think they are,  incapable of ever learning any hard science or math really buy that priestly facade that many science types cultivate.  It is highly annoying.  Always has been, even since grade school.

It is the stuff of population control, culture shaping for power of the few.  Seriously, the whole pretense and self serving atmosphere surrounding "science" has become nauseating.  The part I find most troubling is that for every dire prediction regarding earth, ice, food, etc, the assumed solution is more governmental oversight and control; less individual choice, autonomy and mobility.  They go for your money and your ability to travel easily and freely.

Have people really checked out the greedy bastards they so willing bestow with such power?   Probably not, because people enjoy seeing others harassed, believing they are exempt.

Somehow this all relates to my phone which fell in the swimming pool at work.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Rice and Phoning it In

It all started because I thought I could do a little work.   But yesterday was one of those days when the whole attack issue raised its wily head as I sweated out of proportion to the exertion.

So, I tried to extend my time getting stuff done before it became too much and I had to find heavy sedative or scalding shower.  I've actually bumped up the water heater temperature there because this is a regular deal.

I was taking off the outer shirt, and my phone fell, and battery came out. The rest slid into the pool.  I just peeled off the rest of everything and jumped in to get it.  I worried about modesty later at some point.   Fortunately no landscapers or delivery people or housekeepers were there so no worry.  Not sure it would have made any difference.

Then I hear that putting the phone in a ziplock bag full of rice for a day will help it come back to life. I had set it in the sun, rag-dried it, used a blow dryer, etc.  Nothing.  After a long night in the rice, it at least appears to turn on, but it is still wacko.

The phone has been acting up for awhile.  I think they owe me one anyway--I suckered for all kinds of dumb person phone insurance when I bought it.   I rarely do that sort of thing, but I know I am not easy on things like phones and watches.  That is why I wear no watch and didn't for much of my life, even back in the other century before they built the "Bridge to the 21st Century".

Believe it or not, the only jewelry type item I very much miss wearing is a wedding ring.  I wonder if I'm ever going to be the right one and have sense enough to know I landed in the right place.  Doubtful, and that sucks.  What offbeat chick wants a vegetarian who doesn't drink and is domestically challenged when it comes to making a good home?  Or even keeping the stupid clutter at bay?  I would scrub the floor every day under the right motivation I think.  But I also hate to argue but I require a lot of education in many ways.  It's tricky, and possibly worth it to the next Ms X

Saturday, October 18, 2014

If It Wasn't Real, It Would Be Fiction, And That Would Be A Better Thing

I'm pretty sure Fin called this.  Not positive.  But now we actually have an Ebola Czar.

How to say it without using expletives, over and over and over.  Are you kidding me?
I actually busted out laughing when they first said his strangeness was considering appointing an Ebola Czar.  Of course, plenty of people aren't old enough to have experienced life when there were no czars at all in the government of the USA.  It was not paradise, but I do feel that the lack of czars was a preferable condition.

I can just hear the discussion:   "Ebola is really scary.  Just the thought of it, or saying the word out loud, generates enough fear to constitute a crisis.  Hey!!! I know!!  I'll appoint a lawyer to be the big
wahoo of Ebola.  King of this particular lethal disease.  What could go wrong?   Besides, if we can keep this thing rolling we can do better at controlling people and modifying behavior."

Do we have a breast cancer czar yet?  And an erectile dysfunction czar.  Czars galore, yet I don't think we have a surgeon general at this time.  I remember Dr E something Coop.  He was a busy body, trying to screw with smokers.  He was kind of an act with his affected image and Amish style, old sailing captain looking, beard.  He was a know-it-all.

But, you knew who was attorney general.  And they did not have SWAT teams at his disposal.  So now we have the SWAT teams but no surgeon general.  The CDC guys have it under control.

People don't get that all this costs money.  Their money, one way or another.

We should have a One Way or Another Czar.  The extent to which the majority of humanity are philosophical, political suckers is amazing.  People are attracted to puzzles and to having power over others, so they will rationalize like crazy trying satisfy their lust for making others pay or act a certain way.


An Ebola Czar.  Rumor has it this guy is going to face off against this virus by filing a restraining order and some sort of punitive tort claims on behalf of "the American People".

I happened to catch Real Time with Bill Maher for the first and maybe last time.  He really is a sleaze. But he didn't make me as ideologically angry as I expected.  I just thought his material was unbelievably lame, unoriginal, banal,  and childish.

Either his writers are so bloated on the progressive koolaid they can't think or they just had a really bad day.

But then I see some allegedly right wing stuff that is embarrassing.  The idea is not to "put God back in government".  It is to so limit government that it can do but minimal damage, precisely because it and it's officers are not God, yet they are likely to imply that they are.  And they love it when the public goes along.

Hey!  I know!  Here's how each side can "reach across the aisle" and fondle the other's ego in a bi-partisan manner.  Instead of an Ebola Czar, appoint an Ebola God.  Or a government-clergy task force for Ebola Strategies and Faith.

That's the kind of thing that makes everyone happy.   Or the majority.  Actually the way authority creep works is off of a floating majority.  The percentage of the population who support or go along with the state remains relatively constant, but the actual make up of the numbers will vary according to who is being robbed or scapegoated at any given time.

I would never accept a job called Ebola Czar.  Maybe if I were a confident and curious doctor, but someone who wants it as a stepping stone or political tool.  No, that is creepy.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I Sure Do Want To Smoke

But then I'd be burning clothes, messing up my car, smelling like smokey stuff, and probably less healthy, and it costs too much.  That's how I have to talk to myself when my mind starts making assumptions like, "We'll just go now to buy a pack of smokes and smoke just one."

Whoa, there, not so fast.  I think I stopped doing that for a reason; can't recall what that was but it'll come back to me.  People with the combination of serious lapses in judgement and addictive natures tend to lose track of reality like that.  It often yields poor results.  So, in periods of relative lucidity it is good to find ways to install reminders and safeguards against one's own stupidity and tendency toward self annihilation.

Now the urge to smoke has again abated.  The store where I used to buy them, last year, quit stocking tobacco products anyway.  And I did not like the other close place to buy them.

Maybe I'll make another day.  The good news is, despite some very very stressful occurrences lately, and some very stupid lapses in judgement and recognition of reality, I did not, smoke, drink, or disappear into an opium den or heroin boutique.

I'll immediately find the down side, the half empty perspective, in that, but for this second, that is the upside and I should recognize that this is all positive.  It will all be OK.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Must Be Sleep Writing

I glanced at previous post and find I do not want to read it.  Can't believe I wrote it.  When things are extra tough I talk gibberish, and off any real topic of import to me.  Because the things of most concern are too troubling to discuss.  That is because I have no sense of where reality is until I have ignored it once too often.  I do not like most laws and government entities, and I think they are wrong, and what they do is wrong.  But to think you don't need to observe their power and such is idiotic, even if they are evil, dimwitted creeps.

One day I will learn, and perhaps that day has come.  Let's hope this knowledge will not come with too high a price.  Time will tell.

All should be going great.  I have a friend that posted a story on FB about how great everything is under Obama---as if he is king.  He is not king and master of the realm, therefore not all powerful and responsible for all that goes on.  Also my life and expenses, the price of gas and groceries, have not been easier to manage.  I try to avoid taking the bait because I don't think anyone or anything ought to have the power people like my friend thinks makes sense.  It is the collectivist and statist view as opposed to the freedom loving individual's view.   Authoritarians.

They say we'll be bullied if we don't pay for government protection.  And I say we are paying to be bullied.  There you have that.

People my age are supposed to be much more worthwhile.  No kids, no family that I built, not much of anything.  I owe life, the world, my ancestors, relatives and myself a big apology.  Doesn't mean we'll get that apology though.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Amazes me that people actually ask me to play

Despite the rest of the shambles that passes for my life, I end up playing music with some people I find extraordinary.

This group with Sande Lollis is shaping into something quite unique and I like the music.  It is rare that I like anyone else's creative efforts as well as my own.  I guess in the realm of ideas and inventions I eventually learned that a lot of good things are not my idea, so just go for the good stuff and don't fret because I didn't create it.

I think I used to feel like a slacker if I didn't generate the idea.  Foolish lad.  But I've covered my lack of sense, judgement, timing, awareness, etc. enough.

We have easily 2 hours, plus some, of her songs, many of which are new to me.  We played about an hour's worth a time or two.  The new stuff is every bit as appealing to me.  I love the lyrics, and the feel, and the fact that I'm able to play with a violin without the sounds conflicting.  It is an art and not one generally required of most blues harp players.

I'm proud and flattered that the company I am in sought me out.  And I very much like them as people.  What else would I like them as?  They are good friends like K and L.  Except I am enough in love with her songs that were she not married I might confuse the object of my affection. And that would be disaster, so this is the way it is supposed to be.

So, the OCT 25th show will be good.  I hope lots of people see it.  We're playing a tavern which is not very crowded at night.  And I am pimping the gig and threatening all my facebook "friends" and others with eternal damnation if they don't show.  The appeal of this project falls in the intangible realm.  I can't say exactly what it is, but there is something special here.  I think so anyway.

So, from now on, I will be cleaning up stuff, working, and doing the musical things. And then maybe I'll vanish.  For now what is important is meeting obligations and being of some use or encouragement to others.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Once It Is All Neat

I'm pretty sure that, once I get it all cleaned up and filtered, I'm out of here.  Not feeling in touch with anything.
Oh, and I have to play those upcoming events I committed to play.
Wind down commitments, leave no mess, and go.
To continually use poor judgement which results in trouble, even though no one has been harmed hurt or done wrong, I don't know.  I just do not get along with the civil structure as it is.  Damn, one oversight and uh oh.  Trouble.  And they use guns and cages.
It's wrong, but I figured out, much too late, that right and wrong are fine, and should guide one's life, but being right has zero to do with surviving in civilization or whether it brings trouble.  Do what works and keeps you out of harm's way.  Play the game or be nailed to the wall.  And I regularly demonstrate that I don't have very good sense.  I'll do things that baffle even me. Just self defeating oddness.
And in my case, if I see it coming,  running is not likely to work out, so best approach is to shift dimensions, and poof.  He was never here.
When every bridge has burned, no going back if you are in a hurry.  If you're good maybe you can rebuild the bridges.  I don't know. Bridges are not so easy to build, and what if you are a lousy engineer and builder?  Didn't have to be so, but probably no changing the essentials now.  I'll try to figure that out before any big decision.
Just wanted to stop those itch attacks.  That's all.  But then it took on a life of its own

Friday, September 26, 2014

Every Now and Then They Stop and Listen

Most musical events which are jam or open mic are peopled by those who want to play, and catch up socially with others when they aren't playing.  They talk through the other people playing.  After all, almost everyone there plays.  Or so it seems.

I've been noticing who and what gets everyone's attention and holds it.  At a thing I checked out the other evening, a guy named Bobby was playing a few of his original songs.  The redneck trouble makers playing pool in the back stopped and were moving to the music making positive yet unintelligible comments.

Other than that the crowd was as loud as whoever was playing,  Bobby is not loud or flashy.  He is good, and likable as well.  Mostly he's good and not a fake.  He comes from the heart.

So, tonight I was at a place with lots of talking and I relayed to Sande the Bobby observation.  We had yet to play and she wanted to do an original that has never been heard and a couple of songs in spanish that I never heard.  Mexican I guess.

I told her that people would listen, that I wasn't worried.  The talking had become rather loud.

They stopped, and they listened, and I was thrilled to play on Mexican/ Spanish songs, even though I need some practice--that music goes not where I automatically expect from habit.  They go elsewhere.  It worked out pretty well I think.

The cool thing was that a few minutes before time I said, "they'll listen to us because they should!"
Seeing the attentive, smiling faces and people moving and dancing proved I am learning what gets and holds interest.  It often coincides with what is most fun to do.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Can't Stop It,a song by Sande

This wasn't a gig.  Just got together at Renegade bar--From the show Renegade--the Lamas kid---anyway, the guitar on left didn't play when we were at the ranch.  We had more sound there, and a bass player and I don't know.  I was filling in the guitar on what was up and then confused myself about keys. I do that sort of thing when I'm guessing what's coming.  Sande set up a gopro cam and recorded this.  This was almost like just sitting around jamming a little laid back stuff to me.  I like the challenge of the violin.  I also like it that Warren is classically trained and has done a lot, so I can take cues here and there.  Although in this I'm cuing for others to partake in the instrumental.  It's to prove to myself I can hold back.  Also usually the keys are more prominent.  We've just started playing together.  Rick, the keyboard also has a lot of real training; plays with a college symphony way out east of here  El Centro.  Long way.  I renewed my driver's license there. Crowded.  Few English speakers in line, but quicker than normal places in San Diego county.

That might be the second--or first-- time playing that song.  I've got a cd of her doing it solo, just to have a feel for it.

I like her original songs a lot.  There are many more.

Maybe we need to set up a Sande riser, kind of like a drum riser.   She stands about 2' 10" so a riser could help her be eye to eye with the rest of us,

Why I'm Still Not A Carnivore

It would be way better to be an omnivore.  A true omnivore.  You could eat well where I live if you like things like rabbit.   You could kill dinner every day with a rock.  I suggest acquiring this taste if you are already a carnivore.  Squirrel too.  They're everywhere.

But here we go, Master Chef final.  Appetizers?   Ha.  One is fixing pig's ear, and the other cooking an octopus.  That does not seem appetizing to me.  I can usually empathize, even if I don't eat something.  No way can I do it with these things.

That's supposed to get your appetite going.  Can't even imagine that.

But I'll bet lots of people love these items.  More for you with me around.  That is good, and I'm glad to be of service in that way.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Heal Thyself, Musician

If I were, I would.  In some ways maybe I am.  I think I have good sense and a little tiny bit of knowledge.  Enough so that I can clue guitar players in on what key they are in if I know the chords they are playing, and if they capo up I can tell them where they are.  They don't always know because they don't know keyboard and only know the guitar chords and how the strings are tuned.

Some very good players, very good songwriters fit that description.  That doesn't make me a musician, just someone with sense who knows a thing or two.  Anyway, I think the original saying is a Biblical thing and they said, "physician" not "musician".

I changed it to suit myself like I do all Biblical things.  Another lie.  I don't actually do that so drastically.  I just do not, can not, believe in the zero sum game of punishment and sin.   Executing me does not wash it clean if you kill someone.  It just doesn't.  I don't believe the whole purpose and message of Christ is that the Creator tortured him beyond belief to make everyone else's screwups OK.

Forgiveness and redemption I go with, but not some other things.  And I do think that for however many hundreds of years the Church has played that and much else wrong. It makes it easier to control people.  Guilt is one hell of a tool.  I should know.  I was infused with at least the average dose given Catholic and Jewish children.  But my dose did not include the antidote.  Most likely I'm wrong.

I can't pretend to believe it in ways that I don't.  I can't understand how pouring a bunch of pain on someone over there fixes people over here.  Although most mothers go through a whole lot of pain trying to keep their children safe and well.  Just bringing them into existence...

Another story.  I'm not healed and it sucks.   This weather sets me off every few hours if I am not careful.  Just the drive to work in 100F temps found me unable to tolerate the great outdoors to do my job upon arrival.

I hope it either goes away quick or can be fixed whenever I do the next blood test.  The last two have been progressively outside the blood box.  So maybe the next one will include an obvious item they can pronounce, like incurable imminent death.  Or easily dealt with blood thing leeches can cure.

Of course, anymore, it feels like anything to do with medicine is already overrun with leeches.  What I don't think people get is that the doctors and practitioners aren't the leeches.  It is the system which forces them to test you for prostate cancer if you're a woman, just to cover any possible liability.

Obviously, that was a fabricated exaggeration to make a point.  I've found that people cannot follow thoughts most of the time, and cannot discern hyperbole from a hyperbola, so I have to watch myself if I don't want trouble.

But I'm not saying I don't want trouble.  Jury's out on that.  I still like the songs of Sande Lollis and I like playing with her.  She's a good soul I think.

But whatever is going on, I either want it fixed soon, or I want it to kill me quick.  That is how it is.  If I was a woman I might feel differently.  I've concluded that women are almost all way tougher and stronger than I am, so they are unlikely to relate to this at all.  I can relate to it and that is how I feel.

Ever since Christmas I've realized I'm an unproductive waste of life; no kids, wife, long term career or major benefit to anyone.  My family somehow held up that mirror and I got the message.  I won't go back to gaze in that looking glass again anytime soon.  It is not intentional for the most part, and I am in total agreement.  I just think it rude for a family member to make such views so clear even if not directly stated.  If I point out why others are a waste of humanity, and describe your life to a tee in describing them, come on.

Oh well.  That trivia is the least of my worries.

This heat has caused me to think it is no wonder the people in the mideast are such angry, raving, head chopping, woman hating, lunatic worshipping psychopaths.  It's the relentless heat and sunshine.  It's worse than Arizona, where the sun never sets, and no matter what you do, it is always in your eyes.  Southern Arizona.  At least in Arizona they don't mind if the women wear skimpy clothes and think and drive, and such.

The longer we pretend that the majority of Islam is sane, the more trouble we're in for.  I found a copy of the koran, in English, on an airplane.  I perused it for quite some time.  All manner of instructions about when to kill people and when not, and who to kill.  As long as you aren't in their way, you should be safe.  I guess that is the moderate viewpoint.  That's the difference between this recent activity and the Inquisition; nothing in Christian holy books really gave any justification to that stuff.
But the muslim holy book is very easily interpreted to justify any abuse of infidels.

The Great Pretense seems to apply to any group that is irrational, and troublesome and devoid of logic, and who make real pain in the ass neighbors.  Has nothing to do with any ethnicity--the problem is the behavior.  But we pretend that obnoxious behavior is somehow a wonderful expression of multiculturalism.

I think this physical issue is making me into an angry, yet proud, islamophobe and a phobe when it comes to all manner of lies and pushy bullshit entitlement and aggression.

No Film At 11

It must be something to do with me and video.  I tried twice with the Memphis band to get people to operate my video camera.  I put it on a tripod.  I said, "you don't have to do anything but make sure it is on and doesn't get stolen.  If you feel like it, zoom in when there's a solo, but that is not even necessary.

One time I got pictures of a bar ceiling and bottles of booze and it was turned off when it should be on.  The other time the sound was ok but more of the video was of port-o-lets, tarmac, sky, tarmac, building walls, tarmac, port-o-lets than of the band.  It was on a tripod.  WTF?

I'm almost positive that time was due to a deep seeded issue which drives that person to seek conflict while pretending never to do such a thing.  I used to think she must have been mad at me, but now I believe it was some need for me to mad.  I did not scream and yell.  Even then I smelled a subconscious trap.  Subconscious because I don't think she even knows it was an obviously bizarre thing to do.  Just leave it and make sure it doesn't get stolen, I said.  Any closeups are just an option.

This time the cam was not mine and none of the responsibility was mine.  In any case we played in front of a camera, once again on a tripod, which was only turned on after the show was over.  On and off had somehow been confused.  New cam and I don't know.

The way I am these days I'm sure it is my evil doomed mojo, karma, dharma, and bad vibes that cause it to happen.  That's all stupid but I just don't want to be mad at anyone because it wasn't my stuff anyway, and it won't fix anything.  So, I take it out on myself I guess.  "You no good waste of space, you can't get video right even when it isn't your video and someone else is responsible."

Musicians are all crazy or jerks or both anyway.  We like their music and they make it to offset their troublesome ways.  That's my theory.  Most people like music but how many really like the behavior of those creating it?  Don't answer.  I don't, so that means no one likes them.

That thread keeps getting a little thinner.

So, no video and that sucks. And I know I jinxed it, so as a result I pronounce all musicians to be jerks--and that's only to keep from putting down a more vulgar name.  See how this works?   And do you see why you shouldn't pay a lot of attention to anything I say?   At least as far as opinions about people.

But you mark my words and watch the way it goes out driving; it is always the person in the DODGE...

100F degree weather in east county San Diego.  This is not pleasant.  And out of nowhere it rained.  Didn't cool things down for more than a minute.  Just made it steamy, muggy and not fit for human consumption.  There is a reason SD has Stepford weather; something about the place makes it really unusually uncomfortable when it slides out of the norm.  I used to laugh because 80 is just a hhot day elsewhere.  Here it is tragic and feels different.  Maybe they will DO SOMETHING in Sacramento.  I know, tax everything!!!  That is what is supposed to fix weather.  I saw it on a chart on facebook.  It was put out by the World Consortium on DOING SOMETHING!!!  Be sure to say that with breathless urgency. "We have to DO SOMETHING to fix weather, human nature, gravity and other realities..,.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Hoping for Film At 11

These are certainly strange days.  Again, I thought I might be nearly cured of ailments because I have done a lot of work in the hot sun lately without the attack of being skinned alive one molecule thick layer at a time.  Or so it seems.

I was wrong.  I was at work and it came on like gangbusters--whatever a gang buster is.  I'm all for busting gangs--I despise people who hang packs, like hyenas.  Sorry, Hell's Angels, you suck, too.

Anyway, I kept trying to keep it at bay after it began and did OK long enough for others to leave, then it got bad enough I was yelling and screaming, sort of.  Crazy.

But tonight I met up with the Enter Blue Sky people--I do not call people folks if I can help it.  Only when it makes solid sense.  So we met up at a jam place, a musician bar.  A lot of those people are halfway making a living playing.

We only did three songs, but it is the first time I've play out in public with them, and only the fourth time playing with Sande.  It is the second time everyone was present.  That makes a bug difference.  I don't do it the same.  The unique sound really seemed to grab people and the last song brought down the house.   They clapped in the middle of my solo, which was an attempt at spontaneous combustion in B minor.   All original tunes by Sande.  I love her material.  I only hope it all translates to the video which will be made tomorrow by her husband.

A new experience for everyone I guess.  Harmonica is rarely paired up with high quality violin and keyboards.  With her driving rhythm guitar, and the bass and drums, it works.   Never been in a band of six before.  And they pulled me in last.  The blend is unique when we pull it off.  I'm very nervous, and excited about this. It is fun, keeps me off the streets, and out from under a dumpster breathing my last.  So, it is good.

Apparently I am not healed yet.   Well, who is?

I really want to change some stuff.  Like how I live.  Not so much where, just how.

Now that I think of it, it is pretty cool that I got enthusiastic reactions while I was doing my solo on that last song.  A little lighter fluid and the combustion would have occurred.    That was the only time that happened all night.  Every other time they just waited until the end for applause.  But there was some whooping in between, here and there.

What a sick glutton for approval or adoration or whatever it is that separates performers from sane and balanced individuals.  I always admired sane and balanced  to the extreeme and longed to be that.  At this point I'm thinking, "Forget that.  Go to plan B.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

So, A Violin Player, Keyboard Player, Harmonica Man, and A Chick Singer Play a Ranch

Today the keyboard guy is off for a rehearsal with a symphony at a college off east in the desert somewhere.  They pay him to do it.

The violin player is another classically trained guy who tends to rock out.  The surprise is that they both consider me something good on stage.  Must be because I moonwalk and have good rhythm.   Maybe I'm stretching the truth with the moonwalk part.

There's a bass player and a drummer, as well.  They may be temporary and replaced due to scheduling issues down the road.  For Friday they are in.   The woman who sings plays guitar and has lots of original material.  She's very intense and full of joy and passion when she performs so I like her.

I didn't know what to think the first time I saw her.  She's very short and her hair is even shorter.  I was thinking many things which don't seem to be accurate.  Then she started playing and it stopped me in my tracks.  Intense and she rocks.  I like her songs too.

I was the last to be added to this group.  It surprised me since I rarely play with piano and you wouldn't think it would blend with violin.  But I am good at altering what I do so it does blend and the sound is pretty cool sometimes.

Also for the first time in forever, I'm playing with someone who suggested a name that isn't the same as four other bands in the same state or those nearby.  I can never understand why people want a name that's been done, and done.  It is a weird name but I like it, and I'm happy it is not a copy.

Enter the Blue Sky.  And she's a graphic designer so there is a nice graphic with it.  My job is trying to be ready with almost no practice and only one so far that included the fiddle.  I play very differently with no violin there so I'm flying almost blind.  That's alright.  The fiddle and I are both considered unique players in our small circle and a bit beyond.

I just hope I'm not as spaced out exhausted as I feel today.  Not sure why. Probably to do with the things that have been plaguing me for the last six months.  That has evolved so that the severity of some of the symptoms can usually be contained.  People tend to adapt and compensate for things after awhile.  Even I do that sometimes.  The thread keeps getting thinner is how I feel.

First see if I can get through Friday, then find a way to pay California the extortion they want.  I am not so sure I owe them anything but I think it easier and cheaper to pay this time.  Otherwise they could freeze assets or steal them outright.  I really hate what people have allowed to evolve in this country as far as governmental power and methods.  Very unimaginative and cruel.

But just look at comments on any news story.  Or any story.  It can be a story about dogs in the Yukon and someone will bring Obama or Republican party bashing into it.  Amazing.  F---ng MORONS!!
But most of those who do OK under this setup seem to consider me the moron for rebelling and for not going along and thriving.  They have a point.  They are still wrong and contributing to theft and murder while pretending otherwise but that covers 90% of the taxpaying public.  The non-taxpaying public represent a disproportionate number of the thieves rapists and murderers so there's that.

You subsidize them, you're an accessory to the crime.  But we pretend the bulk of riffraff aren't really riffraff and it is all a big misunderstanding.  Or we make them cops and irs agents.  How can anyone with the irs sincerely think they are doing the right thing?  Misanthropic bastards.

OK.  So I find a few hundred to pay the insanely greedy state of California just to avoid what I've known to happen to others who had no other income happening.  And they wonder why people are homeless and on food stamps.  I'm getting worked up big time.

I play Friday night at 8 pm at a big three day thing at a ranch in Ramona.  People will be camping, parking RVs, etc.  I'll probably play and then go home.  I'm in no mood to humor drunk campers.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Some Pictures Are Worth Being In, Others No

That's about all I have to say about that.   So, I am avoiding the pictures that needn't include me, and attempting to figure out where I should take up space.

OK. That really is vague.  I'm tired of humoring potentially dangerous lunatics because I don't find their enabling spouses so unpleasant.  See the deal?  Enablers and those in toxic codependency are often a large part of the intolerable problem.  If I do the same thing over and over in these cases, wondering why the snake bit me, I am a contributor to my own difficulties and can't legitimately complain.

Biting snakes bite because that is what they do.  Simple as that.  And as much as I might want to pretend that rattler is a cute puppy, my wishes will not change the nature of the viper.  And no matter what others say, a rattle snake is what it is.

That explains things.   It a metaphorical sense.  I have not dealt with any actual snakes or bears or other wildlife lately.  I thought I'd clear that up.  Last time I resorted to verbal symbolic illustration some people thought crazy things.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Most Current Wackwittery Is Multiplying Like Rabid Rabbits in Heat

It is such a strange time.  There is absolutely no shortage of material, but after non stop crazy bombs one becomes numb and apathetic.  I do.  That makes me wonder if it isn't how it is done; just keep throwing down acts of incredible shamelessness, and nerve, and after awhile no one even calls you on it.

We are at that stage as a species, I think.  Where to even start?  I'll stick just to the USA.   Someone actually thought putting non-citizens on juries makes sense.  I don't think they've managed it yet, but just the fact that anyone would entertain the idea...

OH, explain to me how Al Sharpton was able to channel the desires of Michael Brown in the great beyond, yet Al cannot give a good, accurate real accounting of Michael's last moments.  He pretends to know but he mostly channels Mike's wish to be some thing---what was it?  Something about changing America?

I can't even channel Al and he's not dead.  I still don't know what he's talking about.  I guess we have more in common than I first thought.

Boots?  Bosnia, again?  Estonia and them.  Hell yea.

I don't want to talk about that because then I have to talk about Obama, and that is about like trying to rationally discuss the prophet, pbuh,  with a muslim.  Whatever you do, do not draw a cartoon or other rendering of him, pbuh.  Not even a stick representation of him on the back window of the mini van.  Nothing.

Are we still pretending that CAIR and other such outfits are honest and not sympathetic to radical jihadists?  To get into that I have to get into things I don't want to discuss.

Maybe I can use the fact that some unimaginably weird new insanity is probably just around the corner in this neck of civilization.  It always is.  I use that fact to give me a reason to bother.

It is how I see things lately.  I see relative value in people; meaning some probably have more value to the species, the human race, than others.  I rank myself about as close to zero as one can be.   I'm sure there are some plusses, but also minuses to offset that, but it nets out at zero, plus or minus a wee mite.

People who produce worthwhile and relatively happy offspring are up toward the top, of course.  After that would be people who actually invent something useful or cure a disease or problem.   Then those who find ways to remain in the human race providing some good service or whatever.  But not isolated and of no use.

You know, I actually felt bad for the North Korean psycho leader that time the Onion named him sexiest man alive.  Kim Jong-Un.  This is a real person who has power over a lot of people.  Enough to be a real pain to the world.

And I still want a cigarette.  Eight months.  I'm in the habit of not smoking even though I always want to.  I hope I don't and maybe sooner or later I won't have craving for cigarettes.  I don't crave thge burning of things, the mess, smell and some of that.  I miss the cost of course.  The amount of money it takes for that hobby is substantial.  I tend to buy other things.  Like now I cannot wear any of the usual size jeans and pants.  I had to buy some jeans and pants that I could get into. I've never weighed more than I do now.

I tied my record for chubbiest I've ever been.   This came on in a hurry.  Everything is changing and I don't know why.  I'm more and more able to be a little active without feeling like red ants are attacking.  So, now I have to do more and eat a lot less.  If I let it go further it will be exponentially more difficult to lose any weight or chubbiness.  I know this to be true.

When you think about someone losing fifty pounds, I doubt it registers how amazing that really is.  It is very tough to make such changes.  All I have to do is drop 20 pounds.  But that is a lot.  Four five pound bags of potatoes. Over twenty cans of Bustelo--way over twenty; then cans are 10 oz. each.

I  can't see anywhere that bags of potatoes or cans of Cafe Bustelo would fit.  Perhaps belly fat is very dense.  It must have a much greater mass per unit of volume.  My belly may be as dense and heavy as Portland Cement.  Yet is is softer.  Yea, try to explain that with evolution, professor.

You know, the UN is a lot like The Onion online.   They are really a joke, but none of those who are the butts of the jokes are aware of their own goofiness.  It is too bad that in this case people can or have been killed, impoverished, raped and used at the pleasure and discretion of idiotic masters.

Oh yea, Sande asked me to play a gig in Ramona.  A weekend, three day, camp out deal on some ranch.  May just show up, play, and hit the road.  Or I may camp a night.  I'll probably not do that because I doubt I have a ready hot shower there.  I still have to have that safety net. Sande L is an unusual woman--married, and I guess her kids are college age. Never seen them but know she used to cart kids around.  Anyone, she is one of those who is both strange enough, nice enough, and just an intense good singer.  A cut above, at least.  Sande is Unique enough I could see her playing Sat. night live or one of those.  She does not look like what you hear when she performs.  The contrast works well for her.

Anyway, she's been playing with a violin, bass, drummer, and her guitar.  And now they added me, at least for this show.  I hope it works.  She is good.  Oh and a keyboard player.  I know all of those guys.   This is quite a compliment.  I hope I don't blow it.  I feel like I'm in one of those spells in which it feels like I'm submerged in jello or mud.  And one of those spells in which I just give up and mess up.  I will probably not do that.  These people expect a lot from me. That is flattering, and pressure too.

I know the word; Sincere.  This is as real and sincere as any music I'm liable to accompany.  This is educated company.  Violin who has played everything from symphonies to bluegrass. Keyboard about the same broad scope of ability and experience.

So, we do some practice thurs and sun.  The thing is fri, sept 12th.  My brother's birthday.

Then they have another duck guy quote.  I didn't read the whole thing because I don't care what the duck guy says.  He has no power and I can only hope it is out of context or something.

The bigger picture is that a guy who makes duck calls seems to see the intractability and insanity of at least one religion.  No whether he really believes it is convert or die, I don't know because the blurb did not indicate convert to what.  I think he meant renounce or die.  Renounce your ways and quit the mass murder, sadistic behavior, etc. or we'll have to force you to stop, which means better stock up on chocolates and nylons for those scores of virgins who've been waiting  a long time just for you.

It's real.  No way does it seem real.  If I wrote the script of reality, even including some cynicism, I'd never have imaged in this century, beheading and crucifixions,  the whole duck thing, Jerry Brown, seventy two virgins, boots on the ground, Bill Maher,  really.  I just wouldn't think this stuff would fly, but it does.

What comic book writer created Al Sharpton?!  I'm convinced it is a genetic predisposition to use good information, and creative, brilliant logic to promote false conclusions.  It is just what they do.  That is the only explanation for why a university president would be behind the same political forces as the most blood thirsty of gang members.  And it makes them feel good that they managed to cleverly disguise their faulty logic so that they could feel as if they stand shoulder to shoulder with their badass brethren.  Makes the effete feel tough.

It's all a joke of some kind.  Or at least a con.  Maybe humans are mostly crazy.  But how humans ever figured out how to make metals and engines and friggin glass--imagine the first person to notice how cool melted sand can be--how did people figure it out?  They don't even know.  Lots of things that no one knows.  Allegedly no one.  Must be some pieces missing here.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Maybe It's Not Obvious But I'm Hiding From News

Well, yes and no.

After three or four times of hearing the radio news playing Al Sharpton giving a really bizarre talk at the funeral of the late Mr. Brown,  I think I cracked.  Something snapped.   I went from WTF? to You have got to be F'ing kidding me!!  To changing channels, deleting emails from various news or opinion sources.

Lately everything I see is nuts.  Team D for donkey is so far over the edge I am dumbfounded.  But you'd think their alleged opposition would be more pleasing and sane.  At least if you think like I think.  But you'd be wrong.

Now I catch myself yelling at those people too.  I think it is all one team and the one in power orchestrates their own opposition, and makes them look really full of it.  That way you don't notice the complete mafia style operation which is in power, or at least the window dressing for whatever is in power.

So, Al, who never met Michael Brown, was not there when he got shot so he does not know what happened for sure, has no idea what Brown was even like,  none, decided he is the grand jury, the judge, jury and prosecution. Who needs the relevant data?  Not the Rev.   He's a stranger to the place, the people, and the deceased.  But that won't stop Al.  He's a master at manipulating the lynch mob mentality.

He's up there telling everyone what a dead 18 year old wants in relation to the entire country.  He's dead, Al.  You have no idea what he wants.  We know what you want, and I can only imagine the cash register dreams you're tacitly planting in the minds those who are in shock and possibly actually have some shred of feelings and conscience, but I can't say yay or nay on that.

The big question I have about any of the bereaved is that they would allow a stranger to come in pretending to channel their son.  Pretending to know their son.  It's like allowing someone to crash the funeral of a loved one, and knowing that the interloper knows zilch about the dearly departed, you let him give the eulogy.

It makes me seriously wonder about them that they would sell out the respect of their boy that way.  But, I've finally come to believe that the average person is a moronic mercenary who is only affected by conscience if witnesses are present.  The evidence is overwhelming and I am tired of insisting that people are basically good.  If they were they would not be so scared of the very concept of freedom and self regulation in any sense.

If people weren't so damned stupid we would not have big groups running around shooting one another, wouldn't have fanatic lunatics cutting up people while our own self hating elitists pretend that all cultures and religions are equal and well meaning.

The effort to appear intelligent by smugly spouting misanthropic tripe about how we don't deserve to survive and all that is really just the ravings of the insecure--and those just smart enough to recognize they are almost bright, but not smart enough to have much confidence in their intellect, so they play the smug hater of their own kind.   Of course they give the impression that they are above it all.  They are superior and elite.

Anyway, if Al Sharpton and the people who pretend his opportunism is something noble, were a true cross section of humanity.  I'd certainly try to join another species.  Maybe become a dolphin or space alien, or a bear.  Bears can harass the hell out of people, and people put up signs telling each other ahead of time that it is their fault; bears are always right.

What kind of person could just march in and hijack a family's grief for his own ends?  And act like he knows what a dead person wants?  It is as shameless as I can imagine, though I know Al will prove to me that his capacity for shameless exceeds the bounds of my imagination.


Friday, August 22, 2014

When it Rains They Slurp It Up

Many things in life, nature, and the abstract tend to show an increase in growth, velocity, force, etc. exponentially.  Things just work that way.

Like the advancement of technology and such accelerated like crazy after awhile.  Other factors which grew in prominence have served to slow that stuff down and influence negatively how it is done.

So many opportunities for mass koolaid dispensing and guzzling with things like what's going on in the mid east, the Ferguson circus, the prices of everything, the reports that other people are just ecstatic over the new health care set up.  I got a letter telling me they have no idea when they will know if I qualify for what, and they certainly do appreciate my patience, but these things happen and they mean well.

Ebola.  We've got one comic book plot after the other flooding the scene, and people are naturally interested and full of ...koolaid.  Seriously, I see comment threads about some dumbass thing on facebook, and before you know it the Obama bashers vs the worshippers.  It is not always O bashers, but seriously, much as I know the guy is an actor, people come up with really stupid anti-Obama statements.

I hate that.  It sounds like the over the top Bush bashing of the past.  Of course they are still doing that.  In these threads where someone says a stupid Obama barb, the Obama worshippers will say things like, "Oh yea? lol what about the WMDS? roflao"

I mean out of friggin' nowhere, it's this "Well Bush and"  Gimme a break.

On a site with a quiz asking, "What Virtue Are You?",  someone comments, "Well Obummer would score zero because he has no virtue and is running our country into the ground and all he does is play golf with his gay Chicago pals".
 I often wonder if the democratic party doesn't pay people to write this stuff.  What could make the opposition look dumber than that?

People are lapping up whatever spin suits their fancy on this Ferguson incident.  And they do not yet know all the facts.  Why that is, I don't know.  The police look pretty bad to almost everyone, and for once I believe the looters and violent people are looking bad to almost everyone.

That is good.  The koolaid kicks in when you believe that white men are running around shooting young black boys willy nilly with no consequence.  You don't think the cop would breathe easier right now if the guy had been white?  If you can't see that then you've never been in much of a mixed community in the last twenty years, you are a moron, or it just doesn't fit your preconceived picture of the world which refuses to be tainted by reality.

Police of one sort or another--domestic government forces which carry weapons---have been abusing the rights of all who don't have the connections and power to stop them.  Not everyone gets abused but every ethnicity and demographic excluding those calling the shots are fair game.  If you look at incidents all over, everyone gets it. And not just from white cops.

There's where the koolaid comes in.  I'll bet some people living in Memphis just eat up that narrative, even though it looks like most cops there are Black.  And they are every bit as unreasonable as any we've seen in Ferguson.  I don't know about California.  Most I've met here have been mutants of unknown species and origin.

Anyway.  The asinine commentary and reporting, and the reactions of an increasingly domesticated, compliant, pliant, spineless, thoughtless public baffles the imagination.  The big pretense must continue at all costs.

I'm all for the president playing golf.  And for most of the government, federal and state, to join him.  

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