Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Best has Probably Been Passed Up long The Way

A grown man catches himself as he is almost brought to tears at the mere thought of the shower he must take sometime in the next 12 hours.
Meanwhile we wait for two different people in two different death camps disguised as medical facilities to call back.
There have been more optimistic episodes in my experience.  If only everything was all cleaned up and organized.  Then I'd be OK with all that is.

By the way, what is the alleged reason for states having an office called "Insurance commissioner"?  I'm thinking the real purpose is to facilitate crony commerce.   That is more accurate than saying "crony capitalism", and does not serve the propaganda mills which mis-label because they hate any iota freedom.  The way that black panther guy hated any "iota of a cracker".

Update: 1:11 A.M.:  finally found the nerve to grab a shower, believing it would be worse to wait until morning.  Most of the time these things work better at night.  Still waiting for body to get back to equilibrium.  I can feel it wanting to flash up in arms and legs, moving around like randomly flashing Christmas tree lights.  I feel the heat in my face, but it seems to be easing.  No itch or burn in face, just odd blush feeling.  Now I better get in front of a fan or something.  It helps immediately covering up but maybe a final air dry will help.  I feel it trying to get out of control which is less fun than you might imagine.  If they could control this, it would yield quicker results than water boarding.  OK.  sudden moment of easing up.  The Christmas tree lights are dimming and slowing down.

After seeing pictures fro the ranch event last Monday, and knowing this is not a normal stomach, I will push to get thyroid, liver and some blood issues ruled out.  This is not even close to my normal.  I'll decide on most likely culprits and get those tests first, even if I have to threaten bodily harm to get the incredibly inefficient arrogant medical creeps to cooperate.

It takes a world of total f'ing idiots to have allowed themselves to give up so much autonomy when it comes to ailments.  You cannot try medicines you think will help without costly approval, and sometimes not at all.  You can't get various tests run without getting approval and jumping through hoops.  And, of course, it is expensive.  If they think you have insurance, then they want to run a battery of tests, often not at all relevant to your specific case.

If you think this crime of a healthcare law will fix these issues then you are wrong.  For some situations, some people will come out ahead.  I expect many more to die from the one size fits all approach and the lack of incentive for bureaucrats in charge to do anything but protect their job and grow their agencies.  The VA scandal is a harbinger of things to come.

It was headed this way for awhile.  I have been no fan of the setup ever since things changed for whatever reason.  Not the only factor, but I kind of compare healthcare in terms of pre John Edwards and post John Edwards.

A lot changed when he channeled a baby being born, and promoted junk science to win in court.  But  guess karma caught up to him a little bit.  That is no help to the rest of the world.

I may almost be safe, but I still feel like it could flare up if I'm not careful.  It is abnormal to have to remain as still and inactive as possible to avoid an attack of itching and burning could make one beg for a heavy shot of heroin or morphine if they were available.  This is the main thing that has made me consider drinking--enough alcohol and you pass out and only feel things later.  But I can't do that and I know it will make it worse.

OK.  Its been 30 minutes and all the hints of trouble seem to be receding.  Thanks for letting me babble which actually diverted my mind from how things feel.  You wouldn't think so.

I was thinking, it is good to wish or pray for others to receive the good things you'd like for yourself.  A spiritual axiom I guess.   I thought the best thing I'd wish for you  freedom from sadness and self loathing.  So, then now I am less sad and don't have the loathing of self as much as I did.  Maybe it works. And Maybe I am just too affected in ways to be sad and down on myself.

What causes waves of very cold, clammy skin, yet very warm hands?  That's the herald of a front, so to speak; like cirrus clouds.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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