Sunday, July 12, 2009

Time and Space Discontinuum

On the way home from the place I'll call "Bosco's", to protect myself--the only innocent in this scenario, a very disconcerting thing happened.

I always take the same way home because I like the roads and it is less traffic. P- road to THE 67, turn right. OK. So I'm on Poway winding up into the hills. I remember moving into the right lane as soon as the road became multi lane. That happens shortly before the light. It is a T intersection so you go right or left.

By then it was becoming dark enough that even the dimwitted had their headlights on. OK. So, I remember that lane change into right lane. The next thing I know I am driving through country that does not look familiar, although I had the sense of going the right direction. I guess any direction in which front of car precedes rear would have felt right.

I had absolutely no memory of the drive between the lane change and that point. I'm getting nervous but figure I'll find out where I am soon enough. I still had hope I was on the right road and didn't know it.

It was looking less and less familiar all the time. Then I noticed the peaks to my left had a pink cast, yet those to my right were dark. That meant I must be going north instead of south. Then I passed the Beau Weevil restaurant and I knew I was not on my usual route.

I turned around at a place which would allow me to see the road sign so I could see if it was 67 or not. To my relief, it was. As it turns out I was about seven miles from the intersection where I last remembered being conscious of myself. That means about five miles before I had any awareness at all.

The thing is, I don't recall being lost in thought. One second I'm here, the next I am there. I'm not too sure about the time difference. It seems like it was more than the ten minutes I'd allow for that travel. No need to analyze that too much. The rest of it is freaky enough.

If I had been drinking I'd expect to start out toward one destination and end up another. No drink and no drugs. What is going on? Am I doomed? Have I been abducted? Did I jump dimensions?
Most importantly, can this somehow be turned into cash? Is there any money in it?

I'm used to times of distraction in which I end up miles down the road without thinking about it. But not just having several minutes of film cut out, and making a totally wrong and uncharacteristic turn such as this.

Moon over Alpine

It was a little warm inside tonight. So I wandered out on the deck to cool off. Then the real moon rose so I had to become civilized. Really, I didn't have to, but just in case some border jumpers were crawling down the mountain I felt it would be best.

At least it isn't like the naked Buddhist place, with a bidet on the deck, next to a toilet. I still find that somewhat over the top. However, if I can't make sense of life otherwise, that's where I'll go to drop out altogether. Fortunately, I have a long way to go before that happens. As long as I can picture that scenario and immediately feel the response in my mind, "no, I think not", I know I'm on this side of the line.

One thing that I find I crave out here, which was not available in other places I've lived, is altitude. If all else fails I just cruise over to the 6000ft overlook. It is not a lot, but it is over 5000ft. I find I feel better above that point. O2 deprevation or whatever, it cheers me up and I find it easier to regain a shred of optimism. I also find it easier to remember various ideas and things that might provide that passion I'm after.

I live at almost 3000 ft. It's easier to play music at sea level. This is a good practice elevation, no doubt. If only I practiced.

Insomnia lets up now and then, usually about the time I ought to wake up. Enough to drive a guy to sniffing glue. Instead I am trying melatonin and some stuff called Alluna. Rather than use one or the other, I think the combo works best. Of course it is an all natural, blablabla solution, so not doubt it won't work that well.

Being down on all the earth, animal, and greenhouse friendly solutions makes me sound like those people who ignore all consequences of actions. I'm not like that. I've just found very few of those alternatives that are worth anything. My favorite solvent of all time is MEK, methyl ethyl keytone. Maybe it is earth friendly and good for animals and I just don't know it.

Alcohol is my second favorite and everyone loves that. But for fuel you really can't beat petroleum products. They move you further down the road per unit used.

Just talking nonsense because I don't want to quit writing altogether. It should be an easy life. hell with it. It's progress and that is better than regress(?), or something.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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