Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Cycles and Phases, reacting to nothing, and something

Ever notice how one minute you can do no wrong and you are treated like a king wherever you go, and the next everywhere you turn you see big signs that say, "YOU SUCK"? Well, I have.

It's the strangest thing. Plenty of it has got to be a manifestation created by my mind. It rarely seems that way at the time. Experience has taught me I have no clue what is really going on, especially when I am sure everyone in the world has suddenly decided I'm no good. That helps because I figure, when my mind is sharp enough, that the best thing to do is be silent and expect nothing.

I've heard that bit about how you should have no expectations, but that is impossible. Reducing them to a degree is useful but it would be stupid not to expect that water or your beverage of choice will quench your thirst. With no expectations what's the fuel for those hallucinations the guy stranded in the desert enjoys? No, you have to have some expectation. I expect gravity to be there. That's why I situate my chair with the legs on the floor and the horizontal flat part such that it is unobstructed above so as to accommodate my lazy ass.

OK. Another tangent. Happens a lot. Anyway, sometimes the world smiles with you, other times it takes stock of you and lets you know the truth, which seems like a sneering response to your every move. I think I know the best response.

Pretend life is smiling on you even when it doesn't seem like it. I'm talking to me here. More than likely you are better able to know true from false when it comes to such things. I'm better to err on the side that keep the spirits up. I don't have the stomach to be a proper pessimist. Besides, I've found things go better if I allow for that possibility to the point of slight expectation. It pays to be daunted if they don't go as desired.

You probably think this is just my way of saying I didn't win tickets to the funeral. No. I'm just thinking and I saw something that hit me in the way things do that make you yell F' You at the page. Had nothing to do with me, for cryin out loud. And there was something else I forgot. Anyway it was enough to momentarily leave me miffed, and ready to fight. Of course, I am only ready to fight when I think I could win, or when there is no chance it'll happen. Talk is cheap, and I'm all about cheap when it comes to things like that.

Another interesting thing is how possibilities and opportunities, and faith that I could latch on to one of them, increases in inverse proportion to my intake of news and media extravaganzas.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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