Monday, October 5, 2009

Wood Putty, just add water

So, in the course of my run of the mill life, I thought to myself, "here's a job for that wood putty stuff--the kind that comes in powder form. You add water and that's it". I happened to have a very ancient can of the stuff, and wonder of wonders, I knew where it was.

Sure enough, add one part water to three parts powder, and it is ready to solve all the problems of the close tolerance challenged builder. Then my mind wandered, as I read the decades old container. Dries rock hard. Wood, hard, solves problems and they had a cartoon of a "real man" named Buck or some such with a quote about the stuff. It occurred to me that this may have secretly been the precursor to viagra. Viva wood putty doesn't have the same ring though. However, if people aren't too sophisticated or clean, I bet it could work even better.

Alright, that was just plain stupid, and sophomoric. Not up to my usual high brow drivel. Still, it is one of those items one might want to keep on the back burner just in case it ever becomes a useful bit of knowledge.

Aside from that, the stuff worked well on the sort of pump house, but not for a pump, that I built at the secret job site. The one where I did teak extravaganza #1. Not the Duke of Earl dwelling where I did teak extravaganzas #2 and #3. Glad I clarified that. It was a weird thing I had to build and it had to be strong but it could only have a top and one side, plus maybe .20 of another side. An engineering marvel containing a zillion screws and tons of galvanized sheet metal plates. Both the flat ones and angled ones. It might break if I ran over it with my car, but it might not.

The word for this project was "belt sander". Properly used, a belt sander can round edges and make a thing look like you did a good job and know what you are doing. Worked well in this case.

By the way, I have nothing against large vehicles. Only the ones driven by people who are so dangerous in small vehicles that they went to the big tank so they wouldn't suffer from their inability to drive anything. And those who feel so impotent otherwise that they need the feeling of power it gives them to loom above other vehicles while they tailgate incredibly close. It seems the smaller the vehicle the closer they get. What sort of idiot tailgates motorcycles with a fifteen foot high hell car? I'll tell you; one who feels no sense of intrinsic power or potency, and who has dreamed of being a bully his whole life. His wife is doing the pastor at his church because he fails to rise to the task unless he can inflict pain without fear of retaliation. He's the last to know.

OK. So I made it all up. That doesn't mean it isn't true.

I've not paid much attention to news in a few days. Is anyone buying the spin they are putting on Afghanistan or the Olympic strangeness? I will say that I find it criminal to put soldiers in places that pose such danger unless you go in so heavy that they cannot be caught up short. But if there is not a sane logical goal related to truly protecting this country, then I can't get behind such actions. That place will never be stable. Maybe at this point, either go heavy to squelch the enemy as much as can be identified then get the hell out. Leave the alleged good guys a fighting chance. Leave being the operative word. Limited wars are a crime against the military. You want diplomats then send the people from the state department, and let them observe all the insane rules of engagement and sensitivity regulations.

Yep. Get the hell out, but leave them plenty of wood putty. You'd be surprised what clever things can be done with that which would psych out the Taliban and other after-life virgin seeking zealots.

2 comments:

  1. I love my belt sander. One of the best presents I ever got.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Belt sanders of the world, unite! I've used that wood putty powder too, and under a coat of orange shellac no one knew it wasn't "real" wood.

    As far as I'm concerned, that'd be the perfect stuff to lay down in a thick layer covering Washington D.C. In 10,000 years someone might come along with a giant belt sander and find interesting -- or not-so interesting -- stuff under the nice wood-effect surface.

    ReplyDelete

Can't make comments any easier, I don't think. People are having trouble--google tries to kidnap them. I'll loosen up one more thing and let's see. Please give it a try

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