Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dilemmas Abound When You're Strange

I can't describe the dilemmas which abound because then I could be in trouble. And they are not really anything more than half baked dilemmas. One could say I live a half baked life.

The crux of the matter is that I am again in one of those stages in which I find myself thinking I want more baking to occur. It is a choice, I think, like most things involved in the nature of one's life path. I don't rule out luck or fortune, but those factors play out quite differently based on choices made before or after the stroke of fate presents itself. You can milk good luck or bad luck to the fullest, or be so unprepared that you miss it altogether.

I've done that more than once. It has to do with some element I've yet to define for more than a moment, but which has pulled in the reigns when I should have rode that baby for broke. This is now, however, so those events ought serve only to prove that my thinking can be off the mark. Clearly repeating that thought pattern and resultant behavior is an error to avoid.

That's why I will yet finish my book, no matter who thinks it sucks. Especially if I am the who who thinks it. The writing is rather poor but I think, once the story is complete, I can go back and make it better. Besides I have begun another story in my head which may be better. It is different, darker in parts, and more dramatic. For some reason I feel like that future story ought to be told.

In the mean time, finding ways to be useful is probably the best route to better mental state and the path of good fortune. Those who tell you that petty family friction and such aren't worth distancing yourself are correct. In some cases you cannot bridge the divide, and that is that. In others you can and if the people decide to leave this life too soon, you wil look back and realize you should have exercised a little more understanding and a little less reacting. Fortunately that doesn't play a giant role in my confusion. It does play a small role.

Maybe the biggest dilemma of all is whether to believe even tiny dreams are within one's grasp. What if I am delusional and so off from reality that I am just thinking like a fool? What if?

Look around. Check out the tube. You tell me total fools and idiots don't often get paid well and rise to fame and fortune. One thing they have in common; either they've no idea they are dimwits or they don't care, or both. Got to give them credit for that.

1 comment:

  1. Life definitely isn't fair. I mean, I've seen some of today's rock/rap stars and I think, "I don't have any talent either. How come I'M not rich like them?" :)



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