Friday, December 24, 2010

I'd Be Scrooge if I Could

If I were Scrooge I would get to fly through the night, and time, with oddly dressed ghosts. I'd also have money and power to bestow wonderful relief to friends in need, once I saw the error of my ways. Not a bad gig, when you think about it.

As it is, I doubt I will have the fun of flying through time and the night. Maybe I lead too much of an inconsequential life. Not that I haven't messed up and hurt people's feelings once or twice when I should have known better. But on the whole, nothing of major consequence is there.

My biggest woe at the moment is purely selfish--I misplaced or lost my trusty sunglasses--the prescription ones that take care of my eye condition--I have stigmata; more in one eye than the other. Oh where oh where can they be. I heard that having stigmata can be a miraculous thing and sometimes you get visited by priests and other experts. I'd prefer a benevolent opthamologist and optometrist.

Maybe I'll find them. The lenses are in terrible shape but better than nothing when you are on I-8 (THE Eight in California lingo) driving west at the end of the day. It can be a blinding situation, which is not good at 70 mph, or so. The scratched up stigmata glasses help a lot. Guess I'll have to make due with cheap sunglasses that are not help at all for stigmata of the eye.

I bought them the Christmas before my exodus from Memphis, specifically for the journey. When was that? Would that be three years ago? I should have fixed the date in my mind. I lost track and have to search for mental landmarks in time to put it together.

Those glasses have sentimental and intrinsic value, dammit.

So, woe is me. I can't be a rich SOB and fly through the sky until I become a rich wonderful person, and I have to suffer the sun with my stigmata uncompensated. And people in Haiti think they have it rough.


  1. The true story of Scrooge's ghosts has never been told. No one is aware of the auditions they had to go through, the tests they had to go through, the rigorous training they had to endure....

    Of course no one mentions the 364 days a year they spend in Aruba, soaking up the sun and consuming potent drinks with lots of fruit floating in 'em.

    As of now, NORAD says Santa has just zoomed over Big Ben. Maybe he stole your glasses to protect his peepers from all the light pollution....

  2. All the best of Christmas wishes, John. I hope Santa returns your sunglasses when he's through his long journey.


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