Friday, December 31, 2010

Now It All Makes Dr Phil Sense


I was watching Dr Phil with the sound off. How this came about was that I thought maybe the one channel I can pull in would have a bowl game. It did for a minute but the end of the game was 30 seconds away. U of Miami lost to the Irish Catholics.

Next thing I know, Phil is on. So I turned the sound down. Then I became curious and turned it up just in time to hear that the judgement part of your brain is not done developing until you are 25, so if you do a hardcore amount of drinking, drugs, and/or headbanging prior to that time, chances are good you will cause permanent problems and do dumb things forever.

See, it is all because your limiting mechanism, the one that says, "No, do not get naked and mow the neighbor's lawn while her hubby is out of town and she is out sunning by the pool. Homeschooling her seven year old".

There are things you just don't do, if you can help yourself. However, there are many items which can stunt the growth of the part of the brain that will keep you safe, keep you out of jail, and provide a long and happy domestic life, even allow you to get rich.

This explains everything. What I now need to know is who to sue. First my head was bounced and battered far more than was prudent or necessary. Strike one.

Then because I was told it was smart and cool by a reliable source, I began drinking. I started right off heavy at it. No sips of Papa's wine at the table growing up. For one thing, had he had it at the table, I doubt he'd have been willing to share. That would have resulted in more head banging.

Soon, there were very peculiar people from the police department giving talks at school in order to let us know what were the best drugs, where you get them, how they are made, and what makes them so cool. Oh, and of course, don't you kids do drugs now, y'hear?

Curiosity could only be put off so long. The odd police people upped the number and intensity of their talks, as the media coverage became more intense and glamorous as well. I guess they did that for kids who didn't go to school. Now everyone knew the names of things, what it looked like and had seen images of really stoned out very hot hippie chicks running around naked eager to spread their love in fields of daisies.

There frontal lobes seemed to be quite healthy, but probably not the type Dr Phil's pal was referencing. So, everyone was putting their good sense at risk. This accounts for dimwits and nincompoops throughout a certain generation or two. Or three.

They decided to expand this effort at government promotion and educations concerning drugs. They felt that it would be a good idea to also declare war on drugs. If you think about it, that phrase means nothing. You going to line up a bunch of poppies and valium against the wall and shoot them?

So, we now have people who probably fried their lobes before turning 25 populating an agency that arbitrarily fries people for small offenses or lets off foreign smugglers--no consistency to it--running an agency which has declared war on a very broad word. Is caffeine a drug? Pepper?



Now I know, my problems stem from stunted development of my brain and good sense. I do believe that I was a sucker for the glamor that media sources and the government itself attached to the art of self destruction.

Odd how it all works. But there is a certain type of being who likes it this way. Those are the ones you would have slapped silly in elementary school had you not been placed on heavy medication.



So, now I can blame substances, and government for my poor judgement and often risky behavior. I intend to sue.

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Even I have enough judgement to know that shooting a firearm into the air in a populated area is a very stupid thing to do. It is an issue in some areas of CA. Cultural diversity.

2 comments:

  1. In the immortal words of Homer Simpson: "Mmmmm...fried lobes!"

    The few dudes I knew who became cops were generally the school hell-raisers, and when they got badges were plenty rough on kids they caught doing the same things. That's one of the 37,600 reasons I didn't become a cop.

    ReplyDelete

Can't make comments any easier, I don't think. People are having trouble--google tries to kidnap them. I'll loosen up one more thing and let's see. Please give it a try

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