Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tips for YoYos

Local spellcheck here on blogspot does not approve of my spelling of "yoyos" or of "blogspot" for that matter. If I were telling you this in person, don't worry, I wouldn't use air quotes. I only use air parentheses these days.

I'm a yoyo so the term is not meant so much in a derogatory manner, as it is merely describing a condition. Many are given to sudden waves of melancholy as well as sudden waves of euphoria. I'd say I fall in that camp. It probably doesn't hit me as hard as some, but most likely it hits me harder than most. Who knows?

There is no benefit in dwelling upon a condition as if the universe has somehow picked certain individuals to victimize. This just happen. Life is about how you deal with it. Compensation of one sort or another is very much the name of the game.

Anyone who has lived long enough to recognize their own history of highs and lows is at an advantage because they have enough information to wage the battle. It is not like you can make it stop completely but you can temper its effects. You know the extremes are not forever, even if they feel like it, and you know the resulting thought patterns are likely flawed.

It is especially useful in the down wave to avoid the temptation to believe you are a victim or that peace of mind will never return. Draw your attention to something you know you thought was beautiful or fun when you were not steeped in the blues. Take care not to form an opinion like, "Oh, I will never enjoy that again", "I could never do that now", etc. Just know you once got pleasure from whatever it is, and let it go.

Lie to yourself if need be. "In another mind frame I would have thought that sunset a work of art. Now I hate it and it makes me sad." There is where you have to tell yourself, OK, I know I don't really hate it, I just don't enjoy the way I feel at this moment. Do something, anything, that is unrelated to feeling good or bad. Eat a sandwich, drive to the store. Hunt down a homeless person or gimme dolla guy and give him fifty cents. If he asks for more, tell him it is in the mail, or ask for a refund.

If it is an obnoxious gimme dollah guy, ask him for a dollar. That has helped me in the past. I even made friends with one or two, like the helmet guy in Memphis.

Mostly, just know it will run its course and it is not the fault of other people. If you start festering resentment, or reviving old grudges, cut off that thinking then and there. Indulging what some call "justifiable anger" in that way does you no good whatsoever. I guess it helps if you do not have the sort of philosophy that assumes the good fortune of others is the cause of your misfortune. Sometimes it is, like when they steal your design, patent it, and enjoy a lucrative career, but that still is not the cause of the depression. Deep down you know that, or at least you should. It helps the cycling phenomenon be far less unpleasant--to yourself and others.

Others have difficulties too, and often they have troubles you can't see and would not want. So that bit of indulging resentful envy is not only often unfair, but it is self destructive.

Another good thing for the yoyo blues is popcorn, a movie but not something where the bad guys kill the dog, and sleep. But as soon as it lifts a little, if you can do something constructive, it really helps to do it. Usually the things that help are the things you put off or don't do because you have a faltering, weak belief in yourself. Just the attempt is a small victory. If you fail, all isn't lost, and some experience or knowledge is gained.

If you are riding the high, keep that in mind. You may not be the genius that feeling leads you to believe. Beware the crash that you know from experience will follow. The upswing is a good time to do nice things for friends who tolerate your madness, and to try to deal with any personal loose ends like unpacked boxes, unopened mail and the like.

Whatever the situation, there is much less pain and life mess if you resist the temptation to lash out during the tough times and to blame or try to make others endure some of your mopeyness. If you are like me, you have enough blues to go around a times. It really is inconsiderate to bring others down and spread the misery. Plus, you end up regretting the result it brings.

That's about it. Things change constantly, and you cannot know all the factors in the universe, so assuming nothing can get better is not really the fact based conclusion you might think.

Mostly it is good to understand that the mind will lie to you, especially when it is telling you to be miserable beyond hope or when it is telling you you are immortal and indestructible and a super genius.

***It is possible that some sort of prescribed drug will help. So, if you are really bonkers and have access to a good shrink, I say take advantage of your resources. That falls in the realm of not my business.

I do know that self medicating with alcohol or most recreational drugs actually worsens the problem, long term. For one thing, alcohol is a depressant, and though it may seem to help at first, overall it will do the opposite if you are really a true blues yoyo.

I'm undecided whether the right mushrooms with a talented sex therapist (amateur or not) would help in the long run. Unfortunately, I do not think it would do a lot of good for more than a day.

1 comment:

  1. I have those yo-you days. My wife isn't going to go for the sex therapist thing however...


Can't make comments any easier, I don't think. People are having trouble--google tries to kidnap them. I'll loosen up one more thing and let's see. Please give it a try

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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