Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Voodoo Eye Ailments

It was a dark night, and I was minding my own business. I'd just walked in the door and turned on the light when I noticed an upside down couplet of musical notes floating in the periphery of my left eye's field of vision. When I moved my head or my eye or changed focus it moved too.

I could make it dance right in front of my face. I tried to snatch it out of the air but it was more elusive than a quick housefly. It was black like how notes are printed on the page. And it was dancing around like it didn't have a care in the world, and in my line of sight. No respect whatsoever.

Soon, I was on the computer searching for answers to black spots in my vision. The results were predictably off subject, with links promising answers landing me on pages with links promising to explain "black spots on penis". Who cares?

Finally I scored some info which indicated I probably wasn't going blind. This has gone on for a couple of days with day one being a day which consisted of me trying to avoid a migraine by not moving much. It felt like one of those that goes through the back of your eyes and rips your brain out. I am good at heading those off at the pass if I am left alone, so I managed to avoid the pain while only experiencing the dull wittedness that comes with it. I had to do some work over at the big O's pal's house.

Whether the musical notes, which changed into that Batman logo that the commissioner projects up in the sky, were related to the rare headache, I don't know.

I decided I better get checked in case the retina was falling apart or something. It turns out it is just the voodoo thing peeling off and it happens and is generally OK. It "should" eventually fall away from where it is in my eye and go away. At least I learned that all other aspects of my eyes are very healthy and my blood pressure was 98 over 63. Maybe I should update my glasses more than once every five years.

What made this voodoo vicious thing happen all of a sudden is unknown. I'll bet I got bumped by something or a ball bounced off my face and that is what happened. I am not good at keeping track.

The difficult thing was that I went in at 3 and they dilated my pupils. It must have been around 4 when that happened and it must take hours for the stuff to wear off. I had to hang around forever before I risked driving. I did end up buying some sunglasses but they won't be ready for a week or so--progressive lens and curved shape blablabla. So that took some time.

It was dark by the time I got out of there and all the lights looked like starbursts with long rays. I waited until maybe 630 after eating an overpriced pretzel. This place is at the edge of a mall. I do not like malls. It is as if they took the ghetto, separated it into various parts, put designer names on those elements, and presented them in very clean nice stores in the mall. What is that about?

Anyway, I got impatient put on cheap shades to cut the glare and risked it. Once I got on the straight stretch of highway the going was not too bad. Getting to that stretch was a game of guess where the lanes are, and is that guy on my tail going to kill me with those headlights or not?

My Batman logo and I made it home fine. I catch myself making it appear, moving it around like you would a cursor with a mouse, seeing if I can make it hover over various items in my view. The thing is, it is actually a little left of direct vision so I have to play little tricks looking at one thing while thinking of what is in my near peripheral vision.

Tomorrow I plan to file for disability due to Batman logo eye. I think that comes with pension, medical marijuana, and a direct line to the mayor and the commissioner. Perhaps this is God's way of telling me my destiny is to be a super hero. Well, He can wait. I want the pension and some perks.

I hate to pick out glasses and I had plenty of help. Nice store ladies.. That was mostly for the regular glasses which I will purchase later. If I was rich, I'd be in the eyeglass place a lot. I'd have all kinds of gasses and sunglasses.

1 comment:

  1. "The results were predictably off subject, with links promising answers landing me on pages with links promising to explain "black spots on penis." LMTO! {abs pain} Google loves to pull that sort of stunt. Just goes to prove that Artificial "Intelligence" is NOT. {thumbsdown}


Can't make comments any easier, I don't think. People are having trouble--google tries to kidnap them. I'll loosen up one more thing and let's see. Please give it a try

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