Sittin' On Top of the World

It's been pointed out that I live on top of the world, and don't have much traffic and neighbors aren't right there in my face.  This is all true.  But if you recall the song, the part that comes before is, "She's gone, but I don't worry.  Cuz I'm sittin' on top of the world".  He's not telling the truth.  He wishes she wasn't gone.  But under the circumstances he's making the best of it.

I'm somewhat like that, although I live an easier, more genteel existence since I'm not hopping trains and such.  Even so, I woke up this morning, and she wasn't here.

Am I too old to fix that?  One minute I think, Yes, you are too old. Life is over for you and you blew it.  God hates you for being such a waste of space, and so do I.  Then the next minute I think, you aren't too old, and if you quit being too stupid, you could do alright.  Just do what you know you need to do, and let the chips fall where they may.  It will be OK.

Bouncing from one thing to the other.   I don't literally mean the God hate part, but the sentiment is there.  No doubt the sort of taunting evil religious siblings use to abuse one another.  Wish I'd have thought of that at an early age.

If I had launched that campaign soon enough I might have had the upper hand.  I was never a controller though, so he beat me to the punch and I have been forever convinced that I am worthless, stupid, disgusting, and troublesome.  I am actually a little troublesome.  The rest, no.  But try convincing me of that.  Of course he had the advantage of being able to start before I could talk.   It's a wonder I never went postal on the males in my family.

Now that I think of it.  Maybe it is best for everyone that I am on top of the world, alone.  I'm not sure about any of it.  Some angel will fill me in on what to do or not do eventually.