Thursday, May 29, 2014

Welcome!! How Can We Not Help You Today?

OK, here's the deal.   The local clinic which is very nice and also on California Covered,  the state health care plan for Mexican nationals and welfare moms, or so it seems, is a nice looking place with bizarre Rube Goldberg systems in place.  It is also largely run by Valley girls who up talk.

Up talking is when they make most things sound like a question with the last word up several levels in pitch.  Other times the last word is  low girl growl.  To the uninitiated it is unintelligible.  I'm more uninitiated than not.

This would be a good place for someone doing  doctoral thesis on linguistics.  Another time I'll explore all that might entail.

So, that's the Alpine Clinic.  They took blood at first of April to check for food allergy.  We're almost 100% certain no food allergy is involved.  It takes a lot for me to claim 100% certainty on anything.  True scientists think that way.  Educated egomaniacs will claim, in terms they hope you can't understand, that they are 100% sure of things.  Happens every day.  Beware those people.

The specialist that my ex-primary care provider, the retired veterinarian, recommended, does not even take covered california nonsense.  Blue Cross, Medicare, or cashola.  I'm on the cashola plan.  But I feel like they have really worked with me. It is expensive, but could be worse.  And the other place needs more visits to get anything done, which probably evens the two out in the long run.

All I wanted was to have the blood work info from last month faxed to Coronado.   Of course that involves going in and signing an authorization.  Fine.  I do that.  I give the up talker the pertinent fax info, etc.   She has my stuff on her computer, prints out something then takes it to a device that looks like a fax.  "OK, so it has all been sent?"  "Yea"---managing to create extra syllables with last one up a  fifth.

That's all I need so I leave, but once in the lobby I call Coronado to double check.  No, they have nothing. They refresh it a couple of times.  Nope.

I go back in.  Hola, up-talker, they say it didn't go through.  "Oh I don't have the lab work.  All records are over at administration".   Big cloud above my head appears with giant letters, WTF?

OK. I try some subtle uptalking in case it will help.  "This is really important?"  sounds like  question but is actually a declarative sentence.  Perfect form.  "Oh, I can make a  note for them and they should send it within two weeks?"(again, declarative sentence with interrogatory uptick)

I still had Becky in Coronado on the phone and ended up handing the phone to the valley chick who shamelessly began lying.  "Oh, I was just telling him I'll personally walk it over and you'll have it tomorrow"?.....I pretended not to notice, and told Becky just get Dr Coronado to order whatever tests I need, and assume we may or may not receive the one being held hostage.

So, tomorrow we go pee and bleed and stuff.   I like watching the needle.  It is a little exercise in self control to view it with a clinical eye rather than the emotional approach.

I expect nothing to be wrong with me.  I decided to take that approach.  Assume there is absolutely nothing wrong, and once that is confirmed do all the things that set it off and see if mind over body will work out.

More than one person on the yahoo group had tests done which showed no prob, then months or a year down the line their tests show the issue.  So, a year of having this run their lives, with half their friends, family, and doctors treating them like they are sissy lunatics, and dealing with the hydrophobia problem.  They must have more friends, and spouses than I do who help them out.  Not sure I wouldn't just give up.

Something must be up.  I think my face is fatter, I'm fatter, my color is odd.  Puff.  Kind of puffy.  I'll bet they suggest my only hope is a tropical island with lots of attention from sea bunnies and other females.  Or just one good one.  Now I'm happy again.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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