Wednesday, April 1, 2015

My Nightly Roll of the Die

It was a stroke of luck that my daily dose of poison occurs at night.  They say take it about the same time every day.  Why they do not advise taking it at night is a puzzle.  No time of day is specified.

I got the idea because a hematologist in Iowa came to my acquaintance through my ex boss, the house manager who hired me way back.  Her brother in law has reviewed my stuff and gave the proper Dx long ago.

He is quite the guy.  He actually cares and pays attention, and thinks to himself, "How can I make this process easier for my patients to take?"  It is obvious. He doesn't say it.  Not like politicians who claim such compassion in areas of life where they do not belong.  But he found that evening hours for certain things made life much less unpleasant for his clients.  The man is a saint.  And he really helped guide me, and indirectly some of the medical people here.

Anyway, I found out that he goes in at night to administer chemo and such to his ailing cancer patients.  He did it at night because they are more likely to do OK and to sleep through the worst.

I do not think the people handling my case are even close to that considerate.  I'm beginning to think they hate most of their patients--bunch of whiney creeps, dying of cancer.  They exist for the benefit of the doctor's ego and that is it!

And you think Obama and Pelosi's system helps this?  Keep drinking that koolaid. They didn't even know what was in the bill, and still don't. Neither do we, really.  Contrary to the tone of the discussion, Obama no more wrote that bill or even served as general architect of the thing than I wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream.   People are greedy and stupid in large voting blocks. How cool is that? That means anything is possible.

What the heck.  things were screwy anyway, so why not buy votes buy screwing it up more in the name of the little guy or whoever.

This is not chemo, but it is designed to shut off a lot of stuff.  Kind of a killer thing and toxic. All the talk of people using gloves and shooting anyone who touches the stuff bare handed who is not taking it.  Medicine. When did it take the wrong turn into lala land?  Maybe thousands of years ago.

I am not set up for anything as drastic as that, and no need, so all is well.  I think now that it all may improve. Every time I feel good for twenty minutes I decide that it is going to be OK. And I feel it deep down.

So, I think at night is the ticket to hope to sleep through the worst.  Often it knocks me right out. Sometimes, not.  So, before I take it, I hope and beg for a good night and morning.  Mostly I do OK.
And from now on I am fighting the fatigue just to prove to any bastard who needs come uppance that I am not putting up with this nonsense.

I'll use my anger at those who fancy themselves superior to show them who is superior.  And the rest is all love. Even if you are a hopeless dimwit. As long as you are not mean.

Where was I?  Right. One ice cream sandwich and one hydroxyblablabla.

What if this wounded warrior guy gets tour gigs?  I think he might get some opening slots, and I'mn their harp player. Can I do it?  We'll see.  I have to do everything.

Hard Rock Cafe tomorrow with new viola, substitute bass and drummer with bone issues of the hand.  What a band of weirdos.  But we are pretty good.  Hell the viola played the symphony. And yet she thinks I am worthy. She maybe thinks I am the Mac Daddy of back up and solo musicians.  Clearly she made a friend for life out of me!!  Married. Geez.  Figures.  Not that I feel confident bringing anyone in to my iffy life.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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