Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I Sure Do Want To Smoke

But then I'd be burning clothes, messing up my car, smelling like smokey stuff, and probably less healthy, and it costs too much.  That's how I have to talk to myself when my mind starts making assumptions like, "We'll just go now to buy a pack of smokes and smoke just one."

Whoa, there, not so fast.  I think I stopped doing that for a reason; can't recall what that was but it'll come back to me.  People with the combination of serious lapses in judgement and addictive natures tend to lose track of reality like that.  It often yields poor results.  So, in periods of relative lucidity it is good to find ways to install reminders and safeguards against one's own stupidity and tendency toward self annihilation.

Now the urge to smoke has again abated.  The store where I used to buy them, last year, quit stocking tobacco products anyway.  And I did not like the other close place to buy them.

Maybe I'll make another day.  The good news is, despite some very very stressful occurrences lately, and some very stupid lapses in judgement and recognition of reality, I did not, smoke, drink, or disappear into an opium den or heroin boutique.

I'll immediately find the down side, the half empty perspective, in that, but for this second, that is the upside and I should recognize that this is all positive.  It will all be OK.

1 comment:

  1. I sadly learned, a real very long time ago, that a SINGLE PUFF can undo months' worth of hard work quitting. I hope you are able to stay quit. There is NO upside to smoking.


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