Never say die? OK. But what do I say instead?
Thank you, Powers that Be, I suppose...
Or the old one about, "You know when you assume, that means you make an ass out of u and me." Utter nonsense!! These words exist for a reason. You assume things all the time. You assume that bottle of water is not really hydrochloric acid, for example.
And never has its place. Just like always has its place.
Another case of people being smart enough to sort of understand, but not quite smart enough to really get it. But they think they are way ahead of the game, mentally. It happens.
It pays to know that you may not know it all.
What I am thinking now, though, has little to do with that. I have been doing some mild checking on this physical stuff and I definitely think part of the dx is erroneous, and I think another test is needed, and I have a feeling I know what it will reveal. In a way it may be more serious than the erroneous part of the present diagnosis. However, I think that it is likely to be curable with some kind of stem cell hooplah. Whether I am a candidate is another story, but I see no reason this cannot turn around.
To say anything is incurable is stupid. Maybe they do not presently know how to cure something, or maybe a particular medico is behind the curve on new therapies and cures. No true scientist or competent trouble shooter would label a problem as unsolvable. Not yet solved and impossible to solve are two different things.
It is crazy that people with conditions which leave them very fatigued are the very ones who most need to take charge and protect against lazy or incompetent, or arrogantly unconcerned physicians. But that is the name of the game. It is good to bring a level headed friend with you so you don't ransack the office or beat the doctor senseless with stethoscopes and other weapons which may be handy. That is what I do. And it has kept me from flying right over the edge a time or two.
But now I have a plan, and I have resources which will help guide me. Mostly a very dedicated and concerned hematologist way over in Iowa who has offered to review any lab results and such. He is one who helped in the early stage of this game.
Oh, so now it looks as if I will be playing with Chris Hamilton band some more. He's the ex Marine sniper. He and his girl Emily and Richard Resonator are playing the only place in Mt. Laguna and that is just fantastic. Super cool venue. And now they invited me to come join them.
They have figured out that it works best around here to streamline the deal. It is hard to get bass players to commit or show for practice anyway. Sande and I are running into that, as well. I think we do better just the two of us, or us plus the viola, Karen. Looks like my thinking is swaying Sande on this. Chris, Emily and Richard have figured it out too.
So, in the next couple of months I am playing with Sande and with Chris and them, and with another guy. At this rate I will be a fixture at Hard Rock Cafe. All three are booked there.
The trick now is to find some energy. I am working on it. I can hide it when I play, but if I were to actually hang around with people it would be very hard to hide the fatigue and discomfort. But the more I learn how, the better off things are. I do not have much concern about the stuff except that fatigue can prevent activity. But I always think about things as if there is no issue. Only when I get up to tackle those things and find it way more difficult than I thought. Or maybe not doable at the moment.
There is too much of what I call magic in life to "assume" the worst is a foregone conclusion. It simply is not. Especially in my case. And I have a vague plan for the best of futures, and the shortest. Bases covered. I should found an institution which teaches scientists and doctors how to be decent trouble shooters and how to leave their egos at home. And make them pay me big bucks for putting them in their place.